Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? In other words we’ve a great addition to Epic Monsters today: the Mad Hatter!
In Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland the protagonist stumbles upon the Mad Hatter amidst a tea party with the March Hare and the Dormouse. He is in fact always having tea, stuck by Time forever so as to avoid decapitation for trying to sing in front of the Queen of Hearts. As his name implies, he is very eccentric and nonsensical, acting with very little rhyme or reason. Later on he briefly appears in the trial of the Knave of Hearts as a witness, and then in the sequel (when interpreting the character of “Hatta” as the Mad Hatter) as a messenger of the White King and convict of crimes-to-be-committed.
Note: We’ve got the Cheshire Cat too! Also the term “mad hatter” originated in the textile industry (including hat making) where exposure to mercury often led to a variety of ailments. The afflicted were often sent to asylums where they would farm, put on plays, and yes—have tea parties. Also a reminder that we’ve got an Easter Bunny and a far-superior build on my website (so we’ve technically got LOTS of Easter Bunnies.)
Design Notes: The following statistics seem pretty simple on the outset because they’re short, but this is probably the most complicated entry yet. So the Mad Hatter here is like a Schroedinger’s Box-monster: he’s only really moved through and to a space after he’s moved through one of two routes, which he chooses at the beginning of each turn. To effectively fight him, adventurers need to be anticipating and targeting both his potential routes! It is strongly recommended that this NPC only be used in fights by himself or with very limited, very simple creatures alongside him. Let’s do the numbers! The DMG came in at 6.25, the Blog of Holding at 7.4, and together that rounds out to Challenge Rating 6. Fortunately he’s not dealing a ton of damage so should make for an interesting boss fight tier 1 play!
Armor Class 15
Hit Points 78 (12d8+24)
Speed 30 ft.
Saving Throws Dex +8, Con +5, Wis +2
Skills Acrobatics +8, Persuasion +10; cook’s utensils +6
Damage Resistances psychic
Condition Immunities charmed, stunned
Senses passive Perception 9
Languages English
Challenge 6 (2,300 XP)
Evasion. When the Mad Hatter makes a Dexterity saving throw to reduce the damage of a spell or attack, on a success he takes no damage and on a failure he takes half damage.
Here and There (Recharge 5–6). At the start of the Mad Hatter’s turn, he chooses a square within 30 feet of the square he began his most recent turn in, teleporting to that square. Everything that occurred to the Mad Hatter since the beginning of his last turn changes based on which position he chooses to have been in.
The Mad Hatter regains a number of hit points equal to the damage he’s taken since the beginning of his last turn so long as an attack or spell is not within reach of his new location, and any conditions or effects inflicted since the beginning of his last turn are removed. The Mad Hatter’s new path of movement provokes opportunity attacks and damages him if any effect would have, as if he had taken this movement normally.
ACTIONS
Multiattack. The Mad Hatter makes three cup of tea attacks.
Cup of Tea. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d4+5) fire damage.
In Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland the protagonist stumbles upon the Mad Hatter amidst a tea party with the March Hare and the Dormouse. He is in fact always having tea, stuck by Time forever so as to avoid decapitation for trying to sing in front of the Queen of Hearts. As his name implies, he is very eccentric and nonsensical, acting with very little rhyme or reason. Later on he briefly appears in the trial of the Knave of Hearts as a witness, and then in the sequel (when interpreting the character of “Hatta” as the Mad Hatter) as a messenger of the White King and convict of crimes-to-be-committed.
Note: We’ve got the Cheshire Cat too! Also the term “mad hatter” originated in the textile industry (including hat making) where exposure to mercury often led to a variety of ailments. The afflicted were often sent to asylums where they would farm, put on plays, and yes—have tea parties. Also a reminder that we’ve got an Easter Bunny and a far-superior build on my website (so we’ve technically got LOTS of Easter Bunnies.)
Design Notes: The following statistics seem pretty simple on the outset because they’re short, but this is probably the most complicated entry yet. So the Mad Hatter here is like a Schroedinger’s Box-monster: he’s only really moved through and to a space after he’s moved through one of two routes, which he chooses at the beginning of each turn. To effectively fight him, adventurers need to be anticipating and targeting both his potential routes! It is strongly recommended that this NPC only be used in fights by himself or with very limited, very simple creatures alongside him. Let’s do the numbers! The DMG came in at 6.25, the Blog of Holding at 7.4, and together that rounds out to Challenge Rating 6. Fortunately he’s not dealing a ton of damage so should make for an interesting boss fight tier 1 play!
Mad Hatter
Medium humanoid, chaotic neutralArmor Class 15
Hit Points 78 (12d8+24)
Speed 30 ft.
STR | DEX | CON | INT | WIS | CHA |
8 (–1) | 21 (+5) | 15 (+2) | 15 (+2) | 8 (–1) | 18 (+4) |
Skills Acrobatics +8, Persuasion +10; cook’s utensils +6
Damage Resistances psychic
Condition Immunities charmed, stunned
Senses passive Perception 9
Languages English
Challenge 6 (2,300 XP)
Evasion. When the Mad Hatter makes a Dexterity saving throw to reduce the damage of a spell or attack, on a success he takes no damage and on a failure he takes half damage.
Here and There (Recharge 5–6). At the start of the Mad Hatter’s turn, he chooses a square within 30 feet of the square he began his most recent turn in, teleporting to that square. Everything that occurred to the Mad Hatter since the beginning of his last turn changes based on which position he chooses to have been in.
The Mad Hatter regains a number of hit points equal to the damage he’s taken since the beginning of his last turn so long as an attack or spell is not within reach of his new location, and any conditions or effects inflicted since the beginning of his last turn are removed. The Mad Hatter’s new path of movement provokes opportunity attacks and damages him if any effect would have, as if he had taken this movement normally.
ACTIONS
Multiattack. The Mad Hatter makes three cup of tea attacks.
Cup of Tea. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d4+5) fire damage.
