D&D 5E Epic Monsters: Mad Hatter

Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? In other words we’ve a great addition to Epic Monsters today: the Mad Hatter!

In Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland the protagonist stumbles upon the Mad Hatter amidst a tea party with the March Hare and the Dormouse. He is in fact always having tea, stuck by Time forever so as to avoid decapitation for trying to sing in front of the Queen of Hearts. As his name implies, he is very eccentric and nonsensical, acting with very little rhyme or reason. Later on he briefly appears in the trial of the Knave of Hearts as a witness, and then in the sequel (when interpreting the character of “Hatta” as the Mad Hatter) as a messenger of the White King and convict of crimes-to-be-committed.

Note: We’ve got the Cheshire Cat too! Also the term “mad hatter” originated in the textile industry (including hat making) where exposure to mercury often led to a variety of ailments. The afflicted were often sent to asylums where they would farm, put on plays, and yes—have tea parties. Also a reminder that we’ve got an Easter Bunny and a far-superior build on my website (so we’ve technically got LOTS of Easter Bunnies.)

Design Notes: The following statistics seem pretty simple on the outset because they’re short, but this is probably the most complicated entry yet. So the Mad Hatter here is like a Schroedinger’s Box-monster: he’s only really moved through and to a space after he’s moved through one of two routes, which he chooses at the beginning of each turn. To effectively fight him, adventurers need to be anticipating and targeting both his potential routes! It is strongly recommended that this NPC only be used in fights by himself or with very limited, very simple creatures alongside him. Let’s do the numbers! The DMG came in at 6.25, the Blog of Holding at 7.4, and together that rounds out to Challenge Rating 6. Fortunately he’s not dealing a ton of damage so should make for an interesting boss fight tier 1 play!

Mad Hatter​

Medium humanoid, chaotic neutral
Armor Class 15
Hit Points 78 (12d8+24)
Speed 30 ft.

STR​	DEX​	CON​	INT​	WIS​	CHA​
8 (–1)​	21 (+5)​	15 (+2)​	15 (+2)​	8 (–1)​	18 (+4)​

Saving Throws Dex +8, Con +5, Wis +2
Skills Acrobatics +8, Persuasion +10; cook’s utensils +6
Damage Resistances psychic
Condition Immunities charmed, stunned
Senses passive Perception 9
Languages English
Challenge 6 (2,300 XP)

Evasion. When the Mad Hatter makes a Dexterity saving throw to reduce the damage of a spell or attack, on a success he takes no damage and on a failure he takes half damage.

Here and There (Recharge 5–6). At the start of the Mad Hatter’s turn, he chooses a square within 30 feet of the square he began his most recent turn in, teleporting to that square. Everything that occurred to the Mad Hatter since the beginning of his last turn changes based on which position he chooses to have been in.
The Mad Hatter regains a number of hit points equal to the damage he’s taken since the beginning of his last turn so long as an attack or spell is not within reach of his new location, and any conditions or effects inflicted since the beginning of his last turn are removed. The Mad Hatter’s new path of movement provokes opportunity attacks and damages him if any effect would have, as if he had taken this movement normally.


ACTIONS
Multiattack. The Mad Hatter makes three cup of tea attacks.

Cup of Tea. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d4+5) fire damage.

 

[dave2008]

You're not at all dense! Quantum mechanics just really don't jive with how we perceive the world. Honestly I still don't fully understand it, although other people are making good progress cracking it.

Oh, it wasn't the quantum mechanics itself (though I agree with you), it was just the idea that this trait was trying to model quantum mechanics that I didn't grasp. Please note that I tend to read your stat block before I read you description.

 

[Quartz]

Could you simplify Here and There by saying that all attack rolls against the Mad Hatter are made with Disadvantage?

 

[Mike Myler]

Could you simplify Here and There by saying that all attack rolls against the Mad Hatter are made with Disadvantage?

You could, but that'd lower his CR a good bit (choosing to time hop around attacks is a grade or two up from displacement) and I think be less fun. If you've got a gaggle of mad hatters though? By all means displace away.

 

[Stalker0]

Its a cool idea, but I agree its awfully complicated, and I feel like we can still get it right and make it simpler if we just plug away at it. Here is an idea based on the mirror image concept:

Here and There: The Mad Hatter is constantly shifting in space, often seeming to be at two places at once. Whenever the mad hatter is hit with an attack, spell, or area effect, roll a d20. On a 6 or higher, the mad hatter teleports to a space within 30 feet. If the new space is out of the range of the original attack, the effect automatically misses.

Vulnerable Movement: When the Mad Hatter moves, he seems to move in every direction at once, causing confusion but opportunity. All of his movement provokes Opportunity Attacks.

So I tried to maintain the "he's in two places at once" and the "he's moving down many paths which can provoke OAs" but in a simpler model. See what you think.

 

[Rafael Martin]

Do you have a build for Alice? I am seeing her as being a very easy or very complex character to create.

 

[Mike Myler]

Here and There: The Mad Hatter is constantly shifting in space, often seeming to be at two places at once. Whenever the mad hatter is hit with an attack, spell, or area effect, roll a d20. On a 6 or higher, the mad hatter teleports to a space within 30 feet. If the new space is out of the range of the original attack, the effect automatically misses.

This works for a simpler approach (better than standard displacement for sure) but I dislike that it takes away changes the NPC's agency and changes how a fight can play out (more like fighting Nightcrawler).
It's not bad though and is a nice mechanic.

Do you have a build for Alice? I am seeing her as being a very easy or very complex character to create. View attachment 135172

I do not but she's on the queue. Might get a build as a fatebender-turned-monster? Not sure.

 

[Tonguez]

My response to this is both profound and meaningful, Get your hair cut!

 

[Uta-napishti]

Don't worry about teleporting / regen . A simpler way to accomplish a Schödingers turn is just to play both alternatives out and choose.

Quantum Turn (Recharge 5–6)
On his turn the Hatter instead plays out two turns as alternate possibilities to each other. At the end of playing out both turns The Hatter chooses which of the two turns he wishes to keep. All effects of his other turn vanish. Those that witnessed the Quantam Turn remember both possibilities occurring.

Sure, two turns is a pain, but as it is a boss monster, it's not too much bookeeping for a one time memorable fight. And it's WAY simpler to understand. Recharge works as usual, i.e. the Hatter starts with a Quantam Turn, and may regain the ability to use a Quantam Turn on 5-6. To really mess with things, maybe rolling Quantum Turn recharge also happens inside the Quantam Turn, so the Hatter could put their finger on the scale here too.

 

[Quartz]

Quantum Turn (Recharge 5–6)

I like this. An issue with the original is that an awful lot of stuff can happen between two turns. As you say, there could be a lot of bookkeeping. This is more elegant.

But are you both confusing round with turn? Remember that a turn can be an Action, a Bonus action, a Reaction, a move, or a combination thereof. Your wording restricts QT to turn and not round.

Here and There (Recharge 5–6). At the start of the Mad Hatter’s turn,

Mike, if you mean round and not turn you might want to rephrase it:

Here and There (Recharge 5–6). On the Mad Hatter’s initiative count, he chooses a square within 30 feet of the square in which he began the previous round, teleporting to that square. Everything that occurred to the Mad Hatter since the beginning of his last initiative count changes based on which position in which he chooses to have been.

 

[Stalker0]

Don't worry about teleporting / regen . A simpler way to accomplish a Schödingers turn is just to play both alternatives out and choose.

Quantum Turn (Recharge 5–6)
On his turn the Hatter instead plays out two turns as alternate possibilities to each other. At the end of playing out both turns The Hatter chooses which of the two turns he wishes to keep. All effects of his other turn vanish. Those that witnessed the Quantam Turn remember both possibilities occurring.

Sure, two turns is a pain, but as it is a boss monster, it's not too much bookeeping for a one time memorable fight. And it's WAY simpler to understand. Recharge works as usual, i.e. the Hatter starts with a Quantam Turn, and may regain the ability to use a Quantam Turn on 5-6. To really mess with things, maybe rolling Quantum Turn recharge also happens inside the Quantam Turn, so the Hatter could put their finger on the scale here too.

I think this is another solid approach, and all you really need to track is how much each Hatter did (which he has simple attacks so easy to do) and how much damage each hatter took. In the grand scheme this is actually pretty simple DM tracking.

I like it.