At My Most Burned-Out in 35 Years

[Retreater]

What's preventing them from installing it on their own computers?

I guess ... nothing? There are a couple of them tech-oriented enough to do it. It does require a few extra steps that I found challenging and the software isn't exactly easy to locate these days.
I do suspect I'd need to continue to do it for the teenager who doesn't have a PC in her house as well as my wife. So I guess it's a matter of "why not just do all 5 while I'm at it and save myself the trouble of having to tell the others how to do it?"
I'm wondering if this isn't a good trade-off now.

 

[Retreater]

There's a lot of pages here, and I haven't read them all, so maybe someone else has already said this, but if not it ought to be raised:

The above is not okay. Ultimatums like what your wife presented are a form of emotional blackmail, pushing all responsibility for dealing with the situation on you, rather than accepting a reality and trying to work through it together. It should not be acceptable.

Thanks for the perspective. I'm not sure how I should be affected by things these days.
My job has gotten very politicized and stressful. I'm still coping with my dad's passing six months ago. And I just got started on meds that can have the side effect of causing depression.
I don't know if it's the games or all this other "stuff."

 

[billd91]

I don't know if it's the games or all this other "stuff."

Why can't it be both, as in the grueling game schedule AND the other stuff?

 

[Autumnal]

Thanks for the perspective. I'm not sure how I should be affected by things these days.
My job has gotten very politicized and stressful. I'm still coping with my dad's passing six months ago. And I just got started on meds that can have the side effect of causing depression.
I don't know if it's the games or all this other "stuff."

Having been there, I just wanted to note that part of dealing with meds that exacerbate depression is trimming as many life sources of depression as you reasonably can. Gaming stuff has been getting you down since well before some of these other factors, so it’s a good candidate for drastic overhaul. That’s part of self-care (and for me, is almost always something others have to point out to me despite decades of wrangling with mental-health-related problems).

The answe to questions like “how I should be affected by” is very, very commonly “more than you’ve been letting it, if you really do want to be doing as well as you can be”. You’ve been doing a lot for others and apparently concealing the costs it takes out of you. It’s a good time to do less and let it show more, and see how others may rise to the challenges.

 

[Meech17]

Thanks for the perspective. I'm not sure how I should be affected by things these days.
My job has gotten very politicized and stressful. I'm still coping with my dad's passing six months ago. And I just got started on meds that can have the side effect of causing depression.
I don't know if it's the games or all this other "stuff."

I'm no counsellor or therapist.. But I'd assume when your hobbies and other sources of escapism are causing you just as much stress as the other stressful stuff in your life is.. It can certainly be problematic.

 

[UngainlyTitan]

Not to derail the thread, but I had a short wedding themed adventure... at my own wedding reception, so that doesn't seem odd to me at all.

Granted, the wedding was at a castle, and the reception theme was "choose your own adventure," so we had booze in the pub, board games in the great hall, karaoke in the coach house, a scavenger hunt and s'mores on the grounds, and D&D in the library...

Maybe I am showing my age in my remarks. ... mutter.. mutter ... young'un these days....

 

[hawkeyefan]

@Retreater

Talk to your players. Talk to your wife. Let them know the toll that gaming is taking on you, especially given the other stresses in your life. I think if you explain it to them, they'll all likely be a lot more sympathetic to the situation.

And if it doesn't, then perhaps it will help you feel better about caring less about letting them down.

Best of luck to you. I hope it all works out as well as possible!

 

[Osgood]

Maybe I am showing my age in my remarks. ... mutter.. mutter ... young'un these days....

I’m 50… it’s been a long time since anyone’s called me a young’un, so thanks!

 

[Umbran]

Thanks for the perspective. I'm not sure how I should be affected by things these days.

It is okay to be affected as you are affected. You get to feel what you feel, "should" be darned.

My job has gotten very politicized and stressful. I'm still coping with my dad's passing six months ago. And I just got started on meds that can have the side effect of causing depression.
I don't know if it's the games or all this other "stuff."

You've got a right sea of troubles there.

I am not a mental health professional. But to my understanding of stress and depression, cases where there's one clearly identifiable "it" are pretty rare. Often, getting through is about managing the entire suite of incoming influences on you.

In that list, jobs and meds are often things you can't get much of a lever on. Maybe you can get on different meds, but maybe not. And changing jobs is stressful in and of itself. Grief takes time. The games, however, are something you can modify - if they aren't currently helping, they are relatively easy to change or get out of the way.

 

[Clint_L]

I feel almost too exhausted to write this post.

Over two years of two weekly games in different systems with only the occasional missed session.
Last weekend, I ran a bonus marathon session for around 8 hours (for different players in another system).
This weekend, I ran a game for a drunken wedding party that lasted until midnight (for yet different players in yet another different system) - turned around, drove 4 hours, and ran another 4 hour game.
In the regular game, people don't pay attention to their turns, don't know their character abilities, argue with me about their character abilities (that they don't know), have a "joke journal" instead of keeping pertinent adventure details.

Yesterday, I rushed home from the wedding party game. Got home just in time to level up 5 characters for the players, printed out 30 pages of character sheets, organized the table, and had about 1 hour to lay down and feel hopeless that I had nothing to run for the group. (My previous planned encounters had been made worthless when the group decided to flee the adventure the previous session.) No suitable pre-made adventures were available, because I'm running a dead system notorious for bad adventures.

Thankfully, we are taking off next Sunday for Mother's Day. I'm about to collapse - not kidding. I don't want to stop running the games and kill the groups. Also, if I take time off, that will be the same as killing the groups. In at least one of the groups - I'm the only person willing to DM. My wife - who is a player - literally got mad at me when I told her I was tired. ("I guess just tell everyone you don't want to DM anymore and that we're not going to play.")

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to vent? Maybe to help organize my thoughts about how to try to recover from this?

Man, that sounds rough. Whatever made you post, whether it's just getting it out there, organizing your thoughts, or whatever, it doesn't matter. You're a part of this community and we're here for you. I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. You didn't ask for advice so I'm not going to offer any. I just hope you can work it out for the best, and my thoughts are with you.