D&D General What alignment is candy corn?

[Argyle King]

Lewis Black's skit about candy corn sums up my feelings.

 

[prabe]

Candy corn is all alignments because all alignments are equally meaningless to it.

 

[payn]

Lewis Black's skit about candy corn sums up my feelings.

 

[Lidgar]

Definitely chaotic neutral. It is the narcissist of candies.

 

[Greenstone.Walker]

It's not candy, it's not corn, its not nice. Chaotic Evil.

 

[Andvari]

Tread carefully within this perilous thread.

 

[niklinna]

Tread carefully within this perilous thread.

You wouldn't want smashed-up candy corn stuck to the floor, or worse yet, ground into the carpet!

 

[Blackrat]

Chaotic lawful: it lives by a very strict code, but no one can figure out what it is.

I’m getting more of Lawful Chaotic vibes. Using the letter of the law to do whatever one wants.

 

[EzekielRaiden]

I’m getting more of Lawful Chaotic vibes. Using the letter of the law to do whatever one wants.

I assume then these would imply the existence of Good Evil (benevolent selfishness and cruelty) and Evil Good (...which is what way too many Paladin characters actually are...)

Which, naturally, these would be grape candy (it wants to be benevolent, to be a tasty sweet treat...it just isn't*) and any form of "healthy" food masquerading as candy, e.g. when you're given raisin cookies instead of chocolate chip because raisins are "healthier."

*I am given to understand this is because artificial grape flavor--methyl anthranilate--only makes grape candy taste like Concord grapes specifically. Since no one eats them as table grapes, "grape" flavor tastes like grapes no one eats (except as awful, awful jam/jelly)!

 

[Umbran]

Candy corn is non-sentient, and so is incapable of moral choice, and has no alignment.

If you are eating sentient candy corn... stop. There is no way that ends well.