I agree with you about disparaging others, but I feel the majority of the times that someone is claiming that the Star Trek fan is bent out of shape over diversity and inclusion, that is just another case of disparaging others.
I'm not really a Star Trek fan so I don't even know what is going on in that community, but in the case of the sequel trilogy the majority of fans I knew weren't criticizing diversity and inclusion per se but tokenism. They were quick to point out (I think rightly) that it would be stupid to claim that the same people who loved Leia, Lando, Mace Windu and Padme as characters were racist if they didn't like Rey and Finn as characters. Among their complaints is that it seemed that characters like Finn were created solely to check a racial diversity check box with no clear idea by the writers what role that character was supposed to play in the story, and with the apparent understanding that "black man" was a personality and sufficient characterization that no further character building was needed. These critics to the extent that they cared about race at all tended to not at all be upset that there was a black actor in Star Wars but that a black actor was asked to play such a flimsy poorly written part as "Finn" solely because he was black and with no other apparent consideration. And they were equally angry to be told that if they thought Finn's motives weren't clearly explained, Finn's actions weren't logical, Finn's characterization made him seem to be stupid and unlikeable, and Finn was not contributing in any other way than the JarJar comic relief (speaking of embarrassing roles for a black man) that they were bad racist fans and should just shut up.
That's a lot of impassioned argument about a particular argument in a community for "I don't even know what is going on in that community". Perhaps I'm being unfair because I'm not a Star Trek fan either, yet it's a bit hard to avoid all the noise?
The idea of Star Trek fans rightfully being upset about tokens and forced diversity is hilarious since the original Star Trek was
all about that. Gene Roddenberry didn't just randomly happen to cast POC actors in those roles, he was making a deliberate and intentional point about the future having people of all races and creeds, etc.* The episodes about racism were about as subtle as a fireball. To our modern eyes, it can be embarassingly clumsy. Yet there is a segment of the Star Trek fandom that bemoans the imaginary good old days when Star Trek wasn't about
diversity, man, it was just cool phasers and adventures on other planets and fights with aliens, I kid you not.
As for the "I can't be racist, I like this one black character in another movie!" I know we're all intelligent people and are beyond falling for that sort of tokenism.
Regarding toxicity, as others have said at length, it's primarily about the how. We can all agree that death threats and telling people they should be assaulted or die are toxic, regardless of the motivation for doing so?
*I'm assuming somebody has done a scholarly article about drawing a line back to the old WWII comics where the sergeant had a team with a painfully stereotyped but good-hearted mix of ethnicities out there giving the Nazis what for.
