The Willingness to Embrace Joy in Things.

[payn]

The local Renaissance Festival is that experience for me. We go every year, 2-3 times most years. It takes place from mid-August to late September, so you can expect it to be hot most days and it is very crowded so the lines for food and drinks are long. Being a fair, everything is overpriced. Sounds like a pretty miserable experience? And yet we go every year because I enjoy it quite a bit. When I'm there I don't think about how hot it is or how I'm going to spend a stupid amount of money on bottles of water because it's hot and dusty while magically also being muddy. I'm too caught up in the things I enjoy about it like watching artists create things, the different performers putting on their shows, and seeing the costumes people come up with. It's just a day where regardless of the things I might not like, I choose happy and fun.

The local ten fest site here in MN is a real gem it’s just a pleasant place to spend a day.

 

[Vael]

And that is the larger point: you can choose to find joy in things. I tried to explain this to my son who was perpetually frustrated (except on Avatar). Whether you are walking through Galaxy's Edge or watching Star Trek or playing D&D, you can choose to release the cynicism and negativity and embrace the craft and illusion and find real joy in these fantasies and these worlds. I have grown increasingly frustrated with Star Wars and D&D of late, and it took this trip to Disney to make me realize that what I was really growing frustrated with was cynical and angry fans -- and my own cynicism and anger at times.

I am especially guilty of this with D&D, having allowed myself to become unhappy with WotC and its choices and not cultivating my own joy in D&D -- which, as much as I love Star Trek and Star Wars and super-hero comic books and films, D&D has been the single greatest source of this kind of joy in my life for 4 decades now.

tl;dr version: find joy in the books, movies, theme parks and games that you love and don't let "fandom" negativity take that from you. Embrace the illusion and artifice and dive in deeply.

It's hard, and I get it.

My particular challenge is that I worry that even trying to engage in discussion is just asking to get sucked into a culture war debate. I would actually discuss the flaws in Star Trek Discovery or The Last Jedi or The Acolyte or the recent Doctor Who if I weren't suspicious that it was all a Trojan Horse and I was about to be bombarded with "the real problem is it has all gone "woke"". I like that my sci-fi media has gotten more diverse and I refuse to cede ground to the gatekeepers that wish that would stop.

 

[Pedantic]

It's hard, and I get it.

My particular challenge is that I worry that even trying to engage in discussion is just asking to get sucked into a culture war debate. I would actually discuss the flaws in Star Trek Discovery or The Last Jedi or The Acolyte or the recent Doctor Who if I weren't suspicious that it was all a Trojan Horse and I was about to be bombarded with "the real problem is it has all gone "woke"". I like that my sci-fi media has gotten more diverse and I refuse to cede ground to the gatekeepers that wish that would stop.

This drove me out of discussions about Star Trek. I didn't click with Discovery at all, went to go find people to talk about it with, and found lots of racist misogyny. Better to not engage at all, than risk those people taking anything I said as common cause.

On the premise of the thread, I don't generally find the "inability to find joy" to be so.... External in the way the OP presents it. My own critical brain is the source of my discontent, and I don't get to turn that off.

 

[bloodtide]

I think there's a real problem in "fandom" where people like some shows from an IP feel they need to consume like, all of an IP's "content" (ugh), or they're "not a real fan" or something. When in fact you're so much better off just enjoying the bits you enjoy! I didn't watch Discovery Season 5 and nobody can make me! Hahaha! I can re-watch DS9 whenever I want! (um, at least currently - it sucks when you can't get a show or book or record or whatever you like because it's OOP and/or otherwise inaccessible).

I point to the odd group that only like the "new" stuff, and if you don't like it...you are "wrong". You will see the bump soon with not 6E...will the "new" folks just jump to the new D&D as The Best Game Forever? Or will they stick with the Best Game Forever 5E?

My particular challenge is that I worry that even trying to engage in discussion is just asking to get sucked into a culture war debate. I would actually discuss the flaws in Star Trek Discovery or The Last Jedi or The Acolyte or the recent Doctor Who if I weren't suspicious that it was all a Trojan Horse and I was about to be bombarded with "the real problem is it has all gone "woke"". I like that my sci-fi media has gotten more diverse and I refuse to cede ground to the gatekeepers that wish that would stop.

It's so hard to discuss with most people. I'm harsh to put it lightly...and so many people if they hear even a slight negative thing just get so unhinged. So many just sit at a keyboard ready to accuse any negativity as wrong.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Late to the topic, but:

1) do I embrace joy? I try, and sometimes succeed. But not always. Some things DO push my buttons. But I’ve gotten better at walking away from stuff like that.

2) I don’t use much social media. After dropping off a few, more focused RPG sites and one particular sci-fi board, I pretty much participate on ENWorld and 2 music forums- one for which I’m also a mod for a couple of sections. I’m also on Imgur, primarily for image hosting. I watch some stuff on YouTube. That’s it. Never actively participated in any of the big name media companies’ other offerings, and I probably never will.

3) within that narrow range, though, I’ve found a lot of fulfillment, both in giving & receiving advice, and general camaraderie.

 

[Ruin Explorer]

I point to the odd group that only like the "new" stuff, and if you don't like it...you are "wrong". You will see the bump soon with not 6E...will the "new" folks just jump to the new D&D as The Best Game Forever? Or will they stick with the Best Game Forever 5E?

Neophiliacs definitely exist but they are a fairly small group in my experience. They were most noticeable for me with MMORPGs in the early '00s. Every time a new one came out, a bunch of people - often the exact same people - would be like "See ya, suckers, I'm off to play an actually good MMO!", and we'd be like "Ok Bob, see in a few weeks!" and then there'd be denials that he'd be back and so on, then two months later he is. Then two months after that a new game is out, and the cycle repeats. To be fair maybe Bob was embracing joy by starting new games - that can be fun!

 

[Thomas Shey]

I personally find that I tend to just not engage long with topics on, well, anything I actively dislike. Its wallowing in unpleasantness.

I'm not intrinsically hostile to some negativity on other people's part, but its often married to hyperbole, and I'm not a big fan of hyperbole, and attached to negativity I have so much better things to do.

 

[MGibster]

Amen. The amount of crap I've taken for unabashedly loving both Avatar movies, even from people who are not generally overly critical, is astounding to me.

Around 1994-95 I had an epiphany. So much of what I like is stupid. Once I became comfortable with that it was a lot easier for me to accept that it was okay for people to enjoy the stupid things they like. You like the Star Wars sequels? I don't. But if you like it then more power to you. It's no dumber than a lot of the things I like.

 

[MGibster]

Neophiliacs definitely exist but they are a fairly small group in my experience. They were most noticeable for me with MMORPGs in the early '00s. Every time a new one came out, a bunch of people - often the exact same people - would be like "See ya, suckers, I'm off to play an actually good MMO!", and we'd be like "Ok Bob, see in a few weeks!" and then there'd be denials that he'd be back and so on, then two months later he is.

Every new game was going to be a WoW killer. I think the only one I tried was the Star Wars MMORPG, the Old Republic one not the dancing wookie one.

 

[payn]

Every new game was going to be a WoW killer. I think the only one I tried was the Star Wars MMORPG, the Old Republic one not the dancing wookie one.

Yeap, Vanguard, Mortal, Dungeons and Dragons online, Lord of the Rings online, etc...