D&D General The Charisma Conundrum

[ezo]

He is trying, poorly. He wants to get the bonus or plus, of course......but that comes with the risk of the negative.

Again, I would be fine with him doing the dull, robotic game play.

I don't....but if he tries for the bonus, he must also accept the bad side.

To be clear: is he "trying" because he wants this bonus, or just because he's trying to act in character?

I mean, I would let him "do his thing" for now, tell him you appreciate his attempts at role-playing, but until he improves it is best to ignore the bonus/penalty for it. Just let him try. If he improves (hopefully) and is more experienced at role-playing, and you both feel comfortable with him trying for your bonus/penalty reward, then start doing it.

Until then, he can "role-play", but don't have it affect his rolls either way.

I don't know if that will work for you or not, but that's the best advice I have.

 

[Swanosaurus]

Yes, I'm not the type of person that just agrees anyone can be anything if they just sit there and "say they want to be".

[...]

This is what I'm asking.... My way of helping would be to sit him down and explain reality to him: You can not play this character: make another one. And if he really wanted to learn I would be happy to teach him how to role play a "Faceman" character. So what else is there other then those two?

To point 1:
Well, then maybe you're missing what roleplaying is about for many players.

To point 2:
You wouldn't explain "reality" to him, you would be telling him a lie. I can only hope that he doesn't believe the lie and finds a GM who cares more about fun for the whole group and less about cossetting his self-esteem at the expense of his players.

 

[bedir than]

I don't change myself or my game play style for one player...no.

You also don't change your style for the dozens of "young" 30 year olds you've complained about here.
It's not one person. It's not Doug.
You have multiple threads with similar issues where people who want to learn how to play D&D are given a horrific experience by a DM who insists there is only one true way to play -- a way that has never been expressed in any rulebook.

 

[FitzTheRuke]

I hold everything to a higher standard then most people.

I don't know about that. It sounds to me like you have a pretty low standard for yourself when it comes to treating other players with respect.

Seems to me that most people here hold themselves to a higher standard.

 

[FrogReaver]

I rolled an 18 for Charisma!

I do not play the robotic D&D of just rolling dice and doing what the rule say.

As I said, I do allow this robotic non role play....he chooses not to.

Step 1 is honesty with yourself.

 

[Campbell]

I guess if you are not looking for advice or feedback why post this thread other than to publicly shame one of your players?

 

[LordEntrails]

I don't change myself or my game play style for one player...no.

Lack of growth over time shows a lack of maturity and reality in a person. I feel sorry for you.

If it helps, I do require it of the other stats, and in the same way.

So the 18 Strength character can lift 540 pounds? Because if you don't make your strong players do that, then you are lieing to us and yourself.

This is true. Doug wants a DM that rolls out the Red Carpet for him and Alters Game Reality for him. I am not that DM.

Then tell the table that. Be a good person and walk away from the group.

And I do. I am mentor to fully half of all local gamers. Though there is that other half....

Thank God for the other half.

Nothing so far. It is not my job as DM to "help" or "fix" players. And Doug has not said anything to me, complained or asked for help in any way.

No, it is your responsibility as a human being to be a decent person, and to treat others with decency. And when you fail to do that to at least walk away from them and not engage with them further. You are knowingly doing harm to Doug. If you continue to behave this way towards him, regardless of your justification, you are acting as a bad person.

 

[Mort]

Yes, I'm not the type of person that just agrees anyone can be anything if they just sit there and "say they want to be".

It's not about saying you want to be. It's about saying what you want to do. It's saying you give a rousing speech, not actually giving a rousing speech. It's also recognizing that there are many ways people can be "charismatic" you have to take that into account.

Do I hold all players to the same standards? Yes. A player with a character in combat can get modifiers to rolls by talking and describing set actions.

But they don't actually have to do the action right, you're not expecting the fighter player to demonstrate proper sword technique? They tell you what they do. Just like the charisma guy can tell you what he does, and no matter how much he stammers or how shy he is - you filter that through his high charisma (for him it works).

This is what I'm asking.... My way of helping would be to sit him down and explain reality to him: You can not play this character: make another one. And if he really wanted to learn I would be happy to teach him how to role play a "Faceman" character. So what else is there other then those two?

Recognizing that there is not only one true way and that your way is not standard. If not, then yes, tell him up front that your game rquire requires what it requires.

I use the ancient Old School Style where you can modify a roll with descriptive actions.

Problem is, it's filtered only through what you think works. There are LOTS of ways someone can be charismatic. You just filter what the person says through the 18 charisma lens -easy.

I hold everything to a higher standard then most people.

There's a difference between a higher standard and one true wayism. As I said earlier, there is more than one way to be charismatic. You should filter everything the face guy does through the 18 Charisma.

This is a lot more on how you play the game.

Not sure what this means? I just recognize that the player is not the character - they are directing the character.

 

[pemerton]

a way that has never been expressed in any rulebook.

Surely, it has been written. In the book. The book of bloodtide.

 

[pemerton]

The guy who refuses to ever compromise or adjust his DMing style in any way for any reason describes himself as “open minded”

My definition of "open minded" does not include "change everything and anything on the whim of another person".

Nor do the definitions of "compromise" or "adjust*. So to that extent, at least, you and @Charlaquin appear to be ad idem!