D&D General Shocked how hard it is to get new players now-a-days

[SubrosaGames]

In a physical game at a game shop. I have no desire to play online.

I've been trying to get 2 more players for a while. A lot of bites but I bring next to nothing to shore.

...

Edit: Some seem to miss that this is less about "no potential players" and more "just don't show up after expressing interest".

Tried to run a group online through Discord. Nope. Just not the same as sitting around the table with friends and dice and pizza and beer. Just not the same. So, I echo the "I have no desire to play online" sentiment.

Also had several in my area express interest to play -- anything -- but life always gets in the way, and commitments give way to pushing meeting days back because of work, overtime, or whatever, or, they're already in 3 gaming groups because there are so few players, and that takes up their time as well.

 

[R_J_K75]

We didn't start to normalize around here until after everyone could get vaxxed, so in 2021.

But even with a lot of us going back to semi-normal (but better about not attending things if we felt sick, and testing before gatherings), a number of baseline assumptions and routines had been disrupted by the (fairly small) percentage of people who got really sick or died. And the vulnerability of elderly family members for those of us who are relatively healthy. My mother is in her 70s (and has an ingredient allergy so she's only been able to do the J&J vax) and my brother and I normally see her for dinner every week, assuming we're all healthy. But I've had to make decisions about what gatherings to attend and what risks to expose myself to bearing in mind the risk to her by proxy.

I understand, if you have family members and friends to take care of, that's what you do

 

[Bayushi_seikuro]

I think people with stable groups forget the difficulties involved before they were stable groups. Forming new groups can be like herding cats, and the more people you have with different life responsibilities and schedules, the harder it is to get consensus.

Once you work those kinks out, and become a stable group, it congeals better. I think as you get older, you're also more apt to run into a situation of having someone who wants to game, but they're a third-shifter and everyone else is on banker's hours. Not everyone has weekends free the way we did as teens.

I'm going through this currently. My former stable group disintegrated: one player moved to Southeast Asia, one player deprioritized gaming to make more money, and the two remaining players are a married couple who are having normal Grownup issues with work etc.

My oldest son has decided he wants to start playing D&D. The library here is running three full nights of gaming, but every table is full with waitlists. A comic shop has a teen game, but it looks packed - the photo show a table of ten plus.

My problem becomes: how do I let him explore the hobby while minimizing the risk of him finding/ending up at a table that puts him off the hobby. I used to go play D&D at the library as an adult helper, and the thing had largely devolved into non-gaming hanging out.

 

[R_J_K75]

It completely turned my family's lives upside down. Just as the vaccines were starting to become available to essential workers, my wife caught COVID from work. In fact, she had just gotten her notification that her round of vaccinations was scheduling when she got the positive test. That was January 2021. She ended up with long COVID and has been disabled ever since with chronic fatigue.
So, we lost her income, lost her employer's health insurance and had to switch to mine (hers was better - bigger employer than mine so better networks), and now she has to get around with a rollator and can barely be in a social setting for a couple of hours before she's physically exhausted. And then crashes harder the next day (or 2 or 3).

Im sorry to hear that. I couldn't imagine having to deal with that. If there is anything I can do, let me know

 

[Meech17]

My oldest son has decided he wants to start playing D&D. The library here is running three full nights of gaming, but every table is full with waitlists. A comic shop has a teen game, but it looks packed - the photo show a table of ten plus.

Are you willing to run a game? It might be worthwhile to offer to run a second table at the comic shop if they have room/would allow it. Stealing 4-5 players off of a 10 player group would probably be just as beneficial for them as it would be for you.

 

[R_J_K75]

most folks were disrupted and folks are getting back to a new normal.

March-April 2020 was a scary time

 

[payn]

I think people with stable groups forget the difficulties involved before they were stable groups. Forming new groups can be like herding cats, and the more people you have with different life responsibilities and schedules, the harder it is to get consensus.

Once you work those kinks out, and become a stable group, it congeals better. I think as you get older, you're also more apt to run into a situation of having someone who wants to game, but they're a third-shifter and everyone else is on banker's hours. Not everyone has weekends free the way we did as teens.

I'm going through this currently. My former stable group disintegrated: one player moved to Southeast Asia, one player deprioritized gaming to make more money, and the two remaining players are a married couple who are having normal Grownup issues with work etc.

My oldest son has decided he wants to start playing D&D. The library here is running three full nights of gaming, but every table is full with waitlists. A comic shop has a teen game, but it looks packed - the photo show a table of ten plus.

My problem becomes: how do I let him explore the hobby while minimizing the risk of him finding/ending up at a table that puts him off the hobby. I used to go play D&D at the library as an adult helper, and the thing had largely devolved into non-gaming hanging out.

Try finding organized play either adventure league or pathfinder society. It’s built around meeting new people and being low commitment.

 

[Mannahnin]

Thats a great way to look at it. My father was if not the first, one of the first people In Buffalo NY to get COVID. I got it in Dec 2022 I think and if I didnt test myself I'd never have known I had it, My point being, my dad said during the Hong Kong flu of the 60s no one cared. Watch "the Beatles" "Let It Be" Paul says I think I have a touch of the Flu thats going around

I hope your dad's ok.

Definitely part of MY new normal is not engaging in my usual social activities and being in close contact with people while I'm feeling sick, or they're feeling sick. I used to just disregard it. Considered it no big deal and assumed it'd always be a minor inconvenience at worst if one of us got sick from the other.

I can't assume that anymore (EDIT: And really never should have in the first place, because the flu still kills people, but Covid was a wake-up call).

One of the roughest things is that employers mostly aren't making/can't make sufficient allowances and put enough emphasis on people not coming in (or at the very least masking if they do) when they're sick.

 

[GrimCo]

Add me to the "no online gaming" group. Tried it and don't like it. For me, half of fun in playing ttrpgs is hanging out and socializing with other people f2f. If my group stops playing and i can't find another for f2f game, i'll stop playing too.

I get it that it's hard to start new group. My hs group fell apart when we started university. Then that group was on stand by cause of adult life stuff (gaming was at the end of priority list). I found another group which also fell apart, mostly due to, again, real life stuff. There were couple of long periods where i just didn't play.

I know that it's more convenient to play online. I'm 36, with newborn and almost 4y old. I play with guys in age range 36-42, all of us are dads with mostly younger kids. But, we make it work and try to play every week. It's just setting up priorities, having solid time management and good support from better halfs ( we play from 9 30 - 12 30/1300, sundays). Could we squeeze another hour if we played online? Sure. But it's just not worth it (to us).

What you could do is try to find people that used to play back in the hs/college years but are out of gaming for a while. People interested in returning to hobby. Unfortunately, it also depends on where you live, what is your social circle (private and work) etc. Sometimes there just aren't people around you that are interested enough to play f2f.

 

[billd91]

Im sorry to hear that. I couldn't imagine having to deal with that. If there is anything I can do, let me know

There's not much you can do (other than vote appropriately, and in every election - shameless non-partisan political plug).

The COVID lockdown put a stop to one gaming group and we haven't gotten back together - and won't as a face to face game since my wife was a player and can no longer sustain that energy. The other shifted to online (Roll20) and is now back to face to face - though we CAN go online for weeks where illness mandates it.
One of the big benefits of the online portals that I've experienced, however, is the group that sprung up during the pandemic and has only ever been online (except for one session). Members of our kids' generations who had never played D&D before expressed interest so we played on Roll20. After that campaign more or less finished to try other things like Masks and Call of Cthulhu, my wife was able to join. Being online and not face to face, she can participate as she has the energy and, when tiring out, can lie down on the bed next to her computer desk and still be somewhat engaged via her headset and iPad (we use Discord for audio).
So, even with long COVID, there are ways to adapt and the VTTs really help with that.