So i got it right and the players got it wrong. I brought up the stalemate rule as jack has said, but the pc's argued that it shouldn't come to that point.
All this argument was brought up by one player btw, and later the others joined in.
That player sited escape artist as a prime example why a tie would go to the defender. He also states that diarming and trip attacks work the same way.
Either way to clarify on the escape artist, can the defender against a grapple use it when someone is trying to grapple him?
I think it states it requires a standard action to do so, so technically he cannot right?
I ask this because under escape artist(from my head btw)it states that you can use it to escape a grapple. Does it mean already grappled or in the process of grappling?
under grappler phb pg68(escape artist): You can make an escape artist check opposed by your enemy's grapple check to get out of a grapple or get out of a pinned condition(so that you are just being grappled). Doing so is a standard action, so if you can escape the grapple you can move in the same round(see wriggle fre.....bla bla)
Thanks for your help so far guys. I am playing tonight so i hopefully can get this clarified. (Most people are leaning towards my ruling that was overruled by the players so far).