Astrid watched the blue green waves break around the ship as the old man spoke; she’d never heard this tale before. He was right about one thing, no one else did speak to her like this. She blushed as he spoke of private things, things perhaps only ladies would speak of but Astrid knew she would have to be able to have a private conversation about all kinds of uncomfortable things with another man soon enough so she might as well start.
She didn’t turn from the sea as she spoke in soft tones to the warrior. She supposed there was no harm now in speaking about this to anyone, it was so long ago. “Were we the only fools who thought we were in secret? After all this time, suddenly it seems so, and it appears the future will not let me move forward without first looking back.” She turned her body sideways to face the man but kept her back to the women, surely they did not know, or she would have never heard the end of it going on years now.
For a moment a beautiful memory overcame her, and Astrid closed her eyes and let it take her, the glory of the recollection passing across her face. The corners of her full lips turned up and her cheeks became rosy with a blissful glow as time passed, hours for her in just mere seconds. “He was like Rig to me, Inge, a God amongst men, and I would have been his Móðir and lived with him anywhere and happily been his wife and mother of his children for all time. I care not for this frockery and nonsense, I do not care what my upbringing claims of me. THAT is the true lesson my father taught me. He taught me what love is and how important it is. He was still teaching me of it just this morning before I left.”
The beautiful memory passed, replaced with pain and sorrow of what happened and her features changed to reflect that: a frown replaced her smile and her now open green eyes turned cloudy, reflecting that grief. “But it seems Lofn had more to say about our love than any other god of old. My love was so unhappy, he thought he was not enough for me and I could never make him see he always had been more than enough… so it is that some love stories end and some fairy tales do not have a happy conclusion.”
As the wind picked up and swirled Astrid’s thick wavy hair around her face of its own accord, she could hear some gasps coming from her handmaidens in the back and the smile returned to her face. She nodded towards the rear of the ship. “My poor ladies are never going to survive living in Grandael like this. They will be following me around with a hairbrush and sewing needle everywhere I go!”
Astrid called towards the back, “Siv and Hilde, are you two going to keep watch over me while I sleep in the night to make sure all my hairs look perfect for my new husband too? Surely he will be doing his best to muss them up on our honeymoon!” She got a good laugh at that while both her ladies gave her shocked and disapproving glares.
She quieted her voice and returned back to speaking to Inge, “I suppose that was rather vulgar of me.” A few more small chuckles escaped her lips under her breath. The disruption caused Ruby the wolf to stretch her back with a long arch before leaving Astrid’s side, who took up wandering around the ship again.
Astrid’s face settled back into a calm state but a small smile remained. “I too hope Einar is brave and wise. Father left the decision up to me myself and it was difficult to have that decision on my shoulders alone. I do not have many illusions that going into a new home, a new pagan home, that I am suddenly going to become a trusted ally and advisor. But perhaps I can earn that one day.”
She bit into her lip as she mulled her next thought over. “I… I would like to think he does not want to… break… anything about me but… is not that the job of husbands? And Vikings? They… break things. I do not know they know any other way to be.”
Astrid put her hand on the old man’s arm and squeezed him gently. “I will take your words to heart Inge, take them with me always, and remember them when all else is gone. They can take the fabrics and adornments and,” she reached up and delicately touched the silver crown resting on her forehead, “Pieces of my old life, but they cannot take me.”