Transporting Orbs

[frankthedm]

So who else is imagining a wizard running into, or more likely, away from, a Raiders of the lost ark boulder sized orb?

 

[Testament]

I'm picturing something similar to Diablo II where the sorceress' Orb class items were usually built into a scepter like device. Makes it easy to hold and stops the damn thing rolling away

 

[olshanski]

What do you do with a wizard that has three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the bard.

 

[Stalker0]

When I think of a wizard's orb, I think of a mischievous badger.

When I imagine an wizard's orb, I think of a dirty old bum. And this bum comes over to me, and I'm about to pop him one, but I stop because I realize there's something special about him. And I realize...

"That its a wizard's orb"

Yeah, its a wizard's orb!!

 

[Kwalish Kid]

Isn't that what a codpiece is for?

Only if you have two.

 

[Stormtalon]

Wizard: Good news guys! I just went shopping with that loot from our last haul and I managed to buy an Orb +10.

Rogue: Holy %$*! How did you manage to buy that for only what we got from that haul?

Wizard: Well... There is a bit of a problem with it...

Paladin: It had better not be some cursed evil artifact or you'll feel the sting of my...

Wizard: No no no! Nothing like that. It's just that the orb is 3 meters across. It weighs about 20 tons...

Rogue: Buh.. What? How are you planing on using that?

Wizard: More good news! With the money I saved I was able to spend the rest of my loot on a team of draft horses and a giant wagon.

Fighter: You'd better not think I'm cleaning up after those horses....

This would be a wizard modeled after one Prof. Hubert T Farnsworth, I take it?

 

[Flobby]

How is an orb or whatever any more cumbersome than the big-ass spellbook the wizard used have to carry around?

 

[DreamChaser]

And really, the phallic jokes surrounding magical implements are to be expected. After all, most of them **are** intended to be extensions of ... shall we say **physical** power into the metaphysical.

it is similar to the idea of "testify" having the same root as "testicle". When you were under oath, you were essentially swearing on your ability to have children / perform. It was common to touch one's crotch (as opposed to a book) when swearing the truth.

Of course, cultures that came up with things like this tended to be a little less sophomoric about human genitalia, so perhaps the jokes were a bit less common then.

DC

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

My gnome illusionist is going to have his orb be a snowglobe.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Of course, cultures that came up with things like this tended to be a little less sophomoric about human genitalia, so perhaps the jokes were a bit less common then.

I've lived all over the world, and among wildly different cultures.

I've never run into one that didn't appreciate a good dick joke.