The Big Thread of Unsolicited Advice

[zakael19]

Ask your players how things are going, ask if they want to see more of a thing, less of something else, are excited about whatever. Build on their replies. You don’t have to do it every session the way some PBTAs formalize, but every couple of weeks (or when I try something new encounter building/technique wise) I pulse check.

Especially via digital play where you can’t see body language, this can be invaluable in ensuring engagement and excitement. If your players aren’t engaged or excited, the game will suck for everybody including you.

Edit: oh, and ask them what their goal for a session is. This can be direct, or steering as you recap/remind what’s on their plate. We bounce current events back and forth, ensure everybody is on the same page, and then I ask “what do you do?” After a little bit of IC back and forth, my players generally land on a useful course of action we can carry forward for a nice focused use of the session since time is the resource none of us get back.

 

[J.Quondam]

A basic encounter design principle for D&D:

1. Cute fluffy things are usually dangerous.​

2. Cute fluffy things that are not dangerous are usually good to eat.​

3. Cute fluffy things that are not dangerous and that you eat usually belong to something dangerous.​

 

[overgeeked]

The referee is not a storyteller. The players are not the audience. The referee is a herder of cats. The only plan they really get to make is framing the opening scene of any gaming session. After that, it's "Hang on, lady. We go for a ride."

The referee controls the world and NPCs, but not the PCs. Act accordingly.

Players disengage and get bored when they don't get to make real decisions, when their decisions don't matter, and when the scene they're in has no drama, conflict, or tension. If there's no drama, conflict, or tension in a scene, your players will create some. And yes, most players can tell when they don't get to make real decisions or their decisions don't matter...that's why they're disengaged and bored.

Getting "close enough" to story is deceptively simple. All you have to do is ask your players what they want to do, break that into small steps, then put challenges and obstacles in their way. The bigger the goal, the more steps involved. It's really that simple. No, it's not a game of keep away. Facilitate them accomplishing their goals, but make accomplishing those goals interesting. Adding drama, conflict, and tension.

If there's no drama, conflict, or tension in a scene simply narrate it. Be clear and brief.

Learning the difference between surprise and suspense will take you a long way.

Pure wish fulfillment gets real boring real fast.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Set up and use an online gaming calendar for your group. Keep it updated with your availability, so that everyone can schedule the next gaming session. It's so much easier than dealing with tons of "are we gaming this weekend?" texts and emails every week.

What calendar do you use?

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

It's OK if all of your friends and family don't want to play Game X or Setting Y. You can play smaller games with a subgroup (we alternate 5E and other games, and not everyone shows up for each) or play those other games with someone else.

While the "there are X types of gamers" articles are full of generalizations, do note the basics that your various players enjoy. If someone always wants combat, even if your current campaign is about intrigue and politics, throw them a bone by having a duel-happy NPC rival or send assassins after them or wildly optimistic bandits each adventure. Likewise, if there's a player who gets bored if he's not chatting with NPCs, and you're doing a deadly dungeon crawl, give them someone (a prisoner, a traitor, a rival adventurer whose band was killed) to hang out with during the slaughter. Even if it's not what you intended in your grand vision, your grand vision should include everyone having fun at your table and small concessions are what you should be doing for your friends generally, not just in gaming.

Even if you have no interest in playing PbtA, read the GM advice in one of the well-regarded ones. "Be a fan of the player characters" is the biggest takeaway, but it's full of good general advice.

You're never going to be 13 again and able to play for 48 hours over a weekend. Even middle schoolers today don't want that. Expecting that experience again is setting yourself up for failure. On the other hand, you understand fiction and gaming better and you've got more money.

Special effects like music or props aren't mandatory, but even simple ones can make a big difference. Give them a try -- print out maps or wanted posters on fake parchment paper and see your players' eyes light up with delight.

 

[Committed Hero]

Be willing to endure OOC discussions. Some is unavoidable: people need time to get into the groove, unless a group is very disciplined. Even more importantly, a sentence of two out of character will save a half hour of confused, unproductive play. People at the table can be unintentionally confusing/confused without fault. A GM might want to request the benefit of the doubt for something unusual before the situation falls into the PCs' laps. In-character roleplaying is not the end goal; fun is.

 

[Thomas Shey]

1. Understand that its going to be hard to get everyone on-board the same kind of campaign in many cases. Sometimes it may be impossible and, at best, you'll end up with people playing games they really aren't enjoying, and that will probably have malign impact. This is even worse if you have people who have wants that are not only contrary, but actively so (so that supplying what one player wants will supply something another player actively dislikes).

2. This is related to something an earlier poster said, but unless you're able and willing to force the situation (and how well that'll work depends on both the system and the player) avoid single-points-of-failure, where if a given event doesn't go a particular way the adventure you're running comes to a screeching halt.

3. As a GM, lose the god complex, or better yet, never develop it in the first place. It wasn't a great look forty years ago and its an even worse one now. You may get cut more slack than a player for any number of reasons, but feeling like you have all the answers and one (or especially more) players disagreeing with you is liege majesty is a really good way to not only not get a game your players want, but not get one you do, either.

 

[CleverNickName]

What calendar do you use?

Google Calendar. It's free, browser-based, and accessible from all of our devices.

 

[Autumnal]

It is okay to feel weak. Be honest with yourself about it, and then with others.

Would you like some wish fulfillment? Ask for it. Spell it out.

Do you want a different kind of challenge than your gaming normally centers on? Ask for it. Spell it out.

If you are playing with people you can’t trust to respect such desires, take a break from them. You are the only you that you have, and your desires and vulnerabilities need rest time just like the rest of your mind and body. Nobody will give you merit badges for being so macho you grind yourself down.

It may be that you’ve got some particular wishes that are so rare among folks you know or so specifically tangled together in particular ways that even people who respect you and would like to help can’t really tune in. Try solo gaming. Try fanfic. Try whatever.

Just don’t feel that you have to forever bury desires like for no-drama slices of life or whatever just because they don’t fit the local ethos.