Teaching my Boyfriend D&D - Path To Hell or Just Really Stupid?

[Olgar Shiverstone]

Well, if you can get him to play, its easier to start that way than by watching.

My wife (who is a science fiction/fantasy fan, and played a little 1E back in the day -- I have one of her old character sheets) watched our game the other day.

Her remark afterward was that she couldn't play -- it was too confusing, she couldn't follow what was going on, wouldn't know what dice to roll, etc. I explained that being immersed in the game made it easier, and that you really have to play to understand, but you don't have to know the rules to play.

She's not convinced. I think she may not want to admit to being a closet geek, and I think she's intimidated by the complexity of it all -- but you have to admit that an non-D&D player can watch six hours of a game and have absolutely no idea what is going on.

Good luck! Significant others don't have to play ... just understand.

 

[Ruavel]

I'd suggest encouraging him to watch a few times before trying to actively teach him anything... then if he's interested in learning now some one-on-one instruction followed by inclusion into a small group game...

let me given some background on my experience with my current partner & rpg's...

my girlfriend spent the first 9 months of our relationship not really understanding why almost every Friday night was spent with 5 or 6 other guys packed around a table... but she came along to a few sessions and got an idea of what is was all about... saw us all having fun and got a feel for the mechanics without having bothered to read anything yet...

then when one DM started a new campaign he asked her if she wanted to join in... she has since become one of the better players in our regular group, having a excellent grasp of the rules and great understanding (and enjoyment) of taking on another persona...

the thing to remember is that even after watching any number of sessions, he may have no interest whatsoever or may have no talent for gaming... luckily, Angelsboi, you don't strike me as the sort of guy that would force him to keep trying if he turns out to be uninterested...

 

[Pelosan Emperor]

You could invite him to observe one of your games. He could see what goes on without having any commitment to playing. If he's at all interested, let him play a non-critical NPC such as a henchman for a while.

Alternatively, you could try what worked for me: I hosted an alternate-Saturday game at our house for two years. My partner (of 6 years) stayed upstairs or in the living room, but he couldn't help but hear what was going on. A year ago, he announced that he wanted to try playing, so our DM worked him into the game.

A few weeks ago, my partner announced that he wanted to run a one-shot game the next time our main DM needs a break!

- Brian

 

[ced1106]

One random thought is to have him play a familiar or important -- but not critical -- NPC. A familiar has no pressure to assist the group, can display its own personality, and can do anything from hang about, to participate, to wander off and cause trouble. You could also have him play a young noble or wealthy merchant who needs to be escorted by the party from point A to point B.


Cedric.
aka. Washu! ^O^

 

[trimeulose]

Is he pals with jack chic?

Is he one of the southern baptists leaders that is bible thumpin, and condemns you to hell for everything you do?

If not I see no problems with being open about gaming.

I'm going have to side with not bringing it up to him. If you do, then the timing wont be as good as when he brings it up (assuming he does).

Also if he brings it up then you know that HE is interested, rather than he is complying to you wanting him to be interested....... (carry the two, yeah I think that made sense).

And do leave plenty of "quality time" if he isnt interested, to show you are still interested in him.

 

[FireLance]

A couple of years ago, I taught my girlfriend (now my wife) how to play D&D. I basically walked her through a one-on-one game from character creation to the actual adventure. Here are some pointers you might want to use if you decide to do this:

The cardinal rule is to keep it simple. The wide variety of choices in D&D can be bewildering for someone who's just starting out.

For example, in character creation, the only race available was human, and I limited the classes available to a handful that were simple in concept and had good solo survivability - barbarian, cleric, fighter, paladin, ranger, sorcerer.

When selecting ability scores, I explained the game effects of each and simulated a 28-point buy system by asking her to allocate 8 "bonus points" to the six scores, but not more than two points could be allocated to one score (0 bonus points = 10, 1 = 12, 2 = 14).

Similarly, the choice of skills and feats were limited to those with simple and direct effects on the game. For example, I included Spot and Listen, but not Alchemy and Forgery. Alertness and Toughness were included, but not metamagic or item creation feats, or feats that a 1st-level character could not take, like Spring Attack and Improved Critical. To simplify matters further, I assumed maximum ranks would be assigned to each skill.

Equipment was simply assigned based on class. Spell selection for clerics and sorcerers were made from a limited list of useful spells.

When planning the adventure, I made sure to use a variety of encounters: combat, role-playing, puzzles, etc. Combat encounters were against foes that were weak (e.g. a dire rat) or with obvious weaknesses to exploit (e.g. a slow-moving zombie).

During the advanture, it would be good to spell out viable action choices. Essentially, your first game should be closer in spirit to a "pick-your-path" adventure rather than free-form gaming (e.g. "Do you attack the zombie with your sword, fire an arrow at it, or run away?", rather than "You see a zombie. What do you do?").

Hope this helps!

 

[tburdett]

Has he seen the magnificent Lord Of The Rings movie? (I heard one reviewer called it a big male bonding session, and she had a point - there are, what, two women in the whole first film?) Try that as a sort of warmup to fantasy adventuring. 'This is what you can do with the power of your mind!'

It wouldn't hurt that (to judge from my sisters' responses; I'm straight) most of the male leads in the film are pretty hot. Honestly, my youngest sister saw the film six times in the theaters alone! If I wanted to RP with them (and I don't), I'd use LOTR as an intro and promise lots of elves.

And if you want you could check out my webcomic; it's more straight D&D than LOTR, but gaming experience is not strictly essential. It might have some useful 'bait' to get him interested, if you know what I mean.

I guess you missed all of the female hobbits at the beginning of the movie?

 

[pogre]

Jump In!

Ask your DM to let your Beau jump in. Make him a character, explain his basic motivations, and let him roll/role with it. Tell him it's an open ended story/drama that he is a player in. You can tell him when and what to roll dic-wise.

I think it is a huge mistake to ask newbies to listen to rules before they play. D&D is way too rules heavy for new players, especially those who are not "game players".

Give him the experience first, if he is interested he will want to know the rules later.

 

[s/LaSH]

I guess you missed all of the female hobbits at the beginning of the movie?

And one of them may have had a whole line of dialogue, I can't remember. What I want to know is, How many of those dwarves at Rivendell were really male? (3E is the first place to detail a female dwarf without facial hair, to the best of my knowledge.)

Sorry, this is off-topic. I just wanted to reply to that one comment.

 

[Angelsboi]

Ummm i *am* the DM. He hasnt seen Lord of the Rings. Hes not interested in the Fantasy movies, but, he does like the horror stuff. maybe i should wait and get d20 Modern. he loved the Ring and Blair Witch 2 (he thought the 1st sucked. Dont ask me).