Romance in RPGs

[hunter1828]

Please note that I'm not trying to force them. What I am looking for are in-game ideas that will encourage them.

In the 25 years I've been running games I've found that if players don't want romance as a part of the game they are in, no amount of encouragment will comvince them to participate. In the end, no matter what your intentions are, if they don't want to add romance you end up forcing it upon them, which is why I suggested finding out up front if they are interested. If they are, then encourage away and it will work. If they aren't, you can try to encourage them and they will resist. To them, it will be forcing them. I know, I've seen it dozens of times.

Thanks. I've found Green Ronin to be a pretty good company!

Oh, me too! I think GR is one of the best 3rd party producers, if not the best, but that's just my personal opinion.

 

[Kastil]

I've been involved in two campaigns where PC romance was involved. I ran a D&D game for several years where my wife's character was involved with another player's PC, and in a DC Heroes game, my character and the PC of the wife of the guy who ran the above mentioned character got married. We roleplayed the whole thing out, with all the players in the DC Heroes campaign present, and the GM (her husband) performed the ceremony as Guy Gardner. No players were "forced" to roleplay a romantic involvement, they just evolved...like in real life...

Now that I think about it, that is kinda weird...

Try giving the go ahead for something of this nature and find out that the person who wears the ring that matches your own takes it out of character too.

I don't recommend this at all after my experience unless all parties involved have specific guidelines. Then you don't get blindsided and wondering where you stand in your real world while it crumbles around you.

 

[tetsujin28]

The best version of the 'real life' consequences in a game was Pendragon, where each session takes place over a year. So characters grow up, marry, have kids, grow old, and die. Maybe not in that precise order. But having children was important, because they inherited your Glory and holdings.

As far as the 'romance' side, no game has ever done it better than Lace & Steel, where you could fall in love with an enemy on first site...and vice versa! This created a great feeling of swashbuckling, high romance which has never been replicated. I'm really interested in seeing what happens in Blue Rose.

 

[the Jester]

As far as the 'romance' side, no game has ever done it better than Lace & Steel, where you could fall in love with an enemy on first site...and vice versa! This created a great feeling of swashbuckling, high romance which has never been replicated. I'm really interested in seeing what happens in Blue Rose.

How did that work??

 

[tetsujin28]

In the 25 years I've been running games I've found that if players don't want romance as a part of the game they are in, no amount of encouragment will comvince them to participate. In the end, no matter what your intentions are, if they don't want to add romance you end up forcing it upon them, which is why I suggested finding out up front if they are interested. If they are, then encourage away and it will work. If they aren't, you can try to encourage them and they will resist. To them, it will be forcing them. I know, I've seen it dozens of times.

I disagree, to an extent. If the mechanics for romance are fun, people will have fun 'playing' romance. I had players in my Lace & Steel campaign who claimed they had no interest in romance, but when they saw how many crazy plots were developing for the players who were going after it, they started pursuing romantic affairs like regular Don Juans

But to agree with the first part of what you said, if none of the players are interested in romantic stories, there's no reason to include them, as it will just annoy the pig.

 

[tetsujin28]

How did that work??

Oh, geez...it's been years. So realize that I'm just remembering this off the top of my head.

To begin with, all PCs had what were called Ties and Antipathies. These fed into something called Self Image, which was all-important, as it applied to everything the PC did...including experience rules! So if the PC was in a funk, it was actually harder for them to do just about anything...the most realistic depiction of depression in a game, ever! In order to get your Self Image back, you had to do things which fed into your Ties and Antipathies: go after your father's killer, buy your lover a necklace after a big spat, &c. Cool beans.

Falling in love. Y'know, I think it was completely random, and up to the players and GM to determine when this was rolled. But I do remember that major 'villains' could swoon at the site of a particular PC, and try to maim and kill all the other members of the party...but if said PC got on their case, they'd just curse and grumble. Mind you, this is the same game which had rules for social combat that were nearly the same as duelling, where if you ended up being reduced to zero, you couldn't appear in society until your reputation had 'healed'.

What a game!

 

[Privateer]

Try giving the go ahead for something of this nature and find out that the person who wears the ring that matches your own takes it out of character too.

I don't recommend this at all after my experience unless all parties involved have specific guidelines. Then you don't get blindsided and wondering where you stand in your real world while it crumbles around you.

That sounds like there's a story behind it. I'm morbidly curious -- was there really a bad experience in your game with relationships not being clearly defined as only in or out of game?

 

[The Weregamer]

Should see if I can get former IC hubby and current IC little half-brother to post here too ...

Being the aforementioned, I figure I should chime in with my two cents here.

I have to agree with Dona that the (ultimately tragic) romance subplot we played through was probably the most rewarding role-playing experience I have had in 14+ years of gaming. It's only within the last few years that I would have considered myself mature enough for such a thing, but it adds something truly great to the gaming experience, especially in high fantasy gaming like D&D. Playing (responsibly) at that emotional level really makes characters come alive in their own right.

That said, you definitely have to be careful that the comfort level in the group stays where it belongs. A lot of OOC talking is necessary, both prior to and during the romance. Make sure the whole group, including the DM, are cool with being around and involved in this sort of roleplaying. Even characters who are not directly involved in the romance will have to deal with the characters that are on that level. You also need to make sure that everyone knows where the line between characters and players is, lest you end up with misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or both.

I also think that, the better established the group, the easier you will find it to incorporate romantic, and other equally emotional, subtexts into your games. Our group has been playing together for several years, and as such we are all very comfortable with each other, and have strong bonds that go beyond our weekly gaming sessions. This makes it easier to tackle more mature or difficult themes within our campaigns.

Like Dona, I see the potential value of mechanical advantages or rewards linked to such endeavors. It will help to reinforce the IC/OOC distinctions that are essential in these situations. I remember that most World of Darkness games had the True Love merit, which I always thought was a grand idea.

 

[CaptainCalico]

So, my question is, how do you deal with this subject in your campaign? Do you use some form of award system (action points/XP) for role-playing these things? I was thinking about making a series of feats that you could take for free, so long as you met the prerequisite, such as In Love, and One True Love, that gave you some benefits for playing the romantic. Any thoughts on that?

Raven Crowking

Check Atlas Game’s Love and War for feat ideas, some of the special abilities from the amorous prestige classes would also make good low-level “free feats”.

In my current game we have one player who is really enjoying playing out a romantic relationship with an NPC. This has provided lots of conflict and potential plot hooks (He is an elf, she is a half-elf, his family might disown him, her grandmother won’t let him in the house) and inspiration (his sorcerer plans to get teleport without error and Leomund’s secure shelter for those quick romantic getaways).

From my POV as a DM the main benefit is an avenue for giving out more information about the world – thanks to that sadly under-used vehicle: the love letter. While the party is adventuring this one PC gets regular letters from his beloved (thanks to a handy magic item) that let me keep him, and by extension the party, appraised of what is going on in the rest of the world. They also include snippets of history and name-dropping of potentially important political figures. And it all takes place outside of regular game session time.

I have one other player flirting (pun intended) with the idea of a relationship with an NPC, and two more who seem open to the idea, one in particular from the “founding a dynasty” standpoint. I plan to have them cross paths with potential prospects soon. The rest of players don’t want to go there, so I’m not pushing the issue.

Apart from the information the rewards are basically role-playing xp and the sheer fun had from taking your character in the direction you want to go.

I will note that the majority of people in this group had previously played in a very long running campaign where the joke was that every character was a lone-wolf foundling orphan – because any character background given to the DM that included family or romantic connections instantly became a way to rake your character over the coals. I had to spend some time winning the player’s trust that NPC connections were not going to be used like puppet strings. Thankfully it worked.

Also note: just like in real-life, there really is no accounting for taste. The above-mentioned elven sorcerer hooked up with the half-elf psychic warrior I created specifically for the party’s half-elf psion, the sorcerer just got there first and liked what he saw.

 

[Elf Witch]

I really enjoy the idea of romance in a game it tends to give the game more depth. In a long running game I played my character had a romance with an NPC she lost him her unborn child and her familiar in a very short time span. I played it that she had gone over the deep end and ended up having to have magical healing to restore her sanity.


Adding real human emotions to a game makes the role playing better for example my one character really disliked another party member I made this dislike effect role play decisions like the choice between helping two party members if it was him and someone else I helped the other first.

When I make a character not only do I decide feats and skills but also how the character thinks about things like sex, love, loyalty, money ect ect I also give my character a background with people in it. This is what I enjoy the most about making a character the background and the personality traits.

In the Kalamar game I am playing in right now my character has a husband and a 14 year old son I intend to bring the son in as a cohort soon he will be the character's squire. She keeeps in contact with her husband via a magic item that allows them to communicate. This allows the DM one way to feed us information.

In a Shadowrun game my character was involved with another character who just happens in real life to married to another friend there was never any weirdness involved we knew it was just a game.