D&D 5E Can I ride my giant bat? Can I ride it in a hat?

[Satyrn]

 

[knasser]

You can ride your giant bat.
You can ride it with a hat.
You can ride it near or far (assuming you play in a "sandbox" campaign).
You can ride it to a star (assuming space is not a vacuum in your world).

You may ride it with your cat (cats weigh < 10 lbs, giant bats carry <300 lbs less your weight, PHB 176)
But if you fall off it you go splat (PHB 191).

You may ride it through the woods (ignoring terrain speed reduction as per DMG 119).
You may ride it with some goods (<300 lbs less your weight, as per PHB 176).
Would you, could you, ride it into war ?
What, oh what, would you do that for ? (AC 13 and 22 hp as per MM 323 = fatal choice likely).

(the last 2 lines were authored by my 7 yr old daughter btw - she helped Daddy compose this)

Dawwwwww! They were very good. And I really like the pro-peace subtext to her lines - much more nuanced than her daddy's!

(I'm glad I didn't go with my original title which was "I want to ride my giant bat..." which I suspect few would have read to the appropriate tune)