D&D General Who “owns” a PC after the player stops using them?

[Irlo]

Being ethical and respectful toward the boundaries of fellow D&D players never stops because they are currently not looking at you and are away from the table.

I consider my own boundaries to be irrelevant at a game table where I'm not a participant. I don't get this at all.

 

[Yaarel]

I consider my own boundaries to be irrelevant at a game table where I'm not a participant. I don't get this at all.

It is like bullying online in a social media, where a group gets together to humiliate a marginalized person.

It is bullying even if the target is unaware of the online bullying.

Indirectly, the harm is real.

 

[overgeeked]

It is like bullying online in a social media, where a group gets together to humiliate a marginalized person.

It is bullying even if the target is unaware of the online bullying.

Indirectly, the harm is real.

This is going to be an incendiary tangent to the thread, please start a new thread for this topic.

 

[aco175]

It is like bullying online in a social media, where a group gets together to humiliate a marginalized person.

It is bullying even if the target is unaware of the online bullying.

Indirectly, the harm is real.

I do not see it. I'm not a bully or putting harm out into the universe if I take a PC from 5 years ago and reuse the idea of him in a current game, especially if the player is long gone and we have not spoken since he left.

 

[tetrasodium]

Being ethical and respectful toward the boundaries of fellow D&D players never stops because they are currently not looking at you and are away from the table.

does that ethical & respectful not apply for "and the players" of the GM's boundaries?

Here are offical rules in Tashas about the Social Contract when playing D&D.

and?
Here is a paragraph of lorum ipsum

Spoiler

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Are we to guess the part you feel makes your case & how it does so?

To be disrespectful and inflict discomfort in-world against the character of a player that his at the table during the abuse, is little different from such against the character of a player that is away from the table and is the likewise the target of abuse.

"
SOCIAL CONTRACT
D&D is first and foremost meant to be a fun-for-ALL experience. If one or more participants aren't having fun, the game won't last long.

Session zero is the perfect time for you and the players to discuss the experience they're hoping for, as well as topics, themes, and behavior they deem inappropriate. Out of this discussion, a social contract begins to form.

Sometimes a social contract takes shape organically, but it's good practice to have a direct conversation during session zero to establish boundaries and expectations.

A typical social contract in a D&D group includes implicit or explicit commitments to the following points:

• YOU WILL RESPECT THE PLAYERS BY RUNNING A GAME THAT IS FUN FAIR AND TAILORED FOR THEM.
You will allow every player to contribute to the ongoing story and give every character moments to shine. When a player is talking, you are listening.
• The players will respect you and the effort it takes to create a fun game for everyone. The players will allow you to direct the campaign, arbitrate the rules, and settle arguments. When you are talking, the players are listening.

• The players will respect one another, listen to one another, support one another, and do their utmost to preserve the cohesion of the adventuring party.
• Should you or a player disrespect each other or violate the social contract in some other way, the group may dismiss that person from the table.
This social contract covers the basics, but individual groups might require additional agreed-upon terms to guarantee a fun play experience for all. And a social contract typically evolves as a group's members learn more about one another.

HARD AND SOFT LIMITS

Once you and the players have acknowledged the terms of the game's social contract and agreed to uphold them, the conversation can segue into a discussion about soft and hard limits. There are many ways to mediate this discussion, and you might want to do some research to find an approach that might work well for your group. For purposes of this explanation, these terms are described as follows:

A soft limit is a threshold that one should think twice about crossing, as it is likely to create GENUINE anxiety, fear, and DISCOMFORT.

A hard limit is a threshold that should never be crossed. Every member of the group has soft and hard limits, and it behooves everyone in the group to know what they are. Make sure everyone at the table is comfortable with how this discussion takes place. Players might not want to discuss their limits aloud around the table, especially if they're new to roleplaying games or haven't spent a lot of time with certain other members of the group.

One way to alleviate such discomfort is to encourage the players to share their limits privately with you and allow you to present them without attribution to the whole group. For example, the players could write their limits on index cards for you to read aloud. However these limits are presented, it would be useful for you or one of the players to compile the limits into one list that can be shared with the whole group. Keep in mind that any discussion about limits should be treated with care-even sharing a person's limits can be a very painful experience, and this conversation should be handled with respect.

Common in-game limits include - but are not limited to - themes or scenes of sex, exploitation, racial profiling, slavery, violence toward children and animals, gratuitous swearing, and intra-party romance.

Common out-of-game limits include unwanted physical contact, dice-sharing, dice-throwing, shouting, vulgarity, rules lawyering, distracting use of cellphones, and generally disrespectful behavior.

The discussion of limits is important because DMs and players can have phobias or triggers that others might not be aware of. ANY IN-GAME TOPIC OR THEME THAT MAKES A MEMBER OF THE GAMING GROUP FEEL UNSAFE OR UNCOMFORTABLE SHOULD BE AVOIDED. If a topic or theme makes one or more players nervous but they give you consent to include it in-game, incorporating it should be handled with care, and you must be ready to veer away from such topics and themes quickly.

While session zero is the perfect place to start this discussion, it might not be the only time limits are addressed. Someone might cross a line and need to be reminded of a limit, or someone might not think to include some of their limits in the initial discus sion. Players can also discover new limits as the campaign unfolds. Make a plan to check in with the group to make sure the list of hard and soft limits is up to date, and remind everyone to revisit this list often in case it changes.

"


The description of the Social Contract focuses on the player who are currently at the table. However, it is only a starting point.

To be disrespectful and inflicting discomfort in-world against the character of a player that is away from the table and is the likewise the target of abuse, is little different from such against the character of a player that his at the table during the abuse.

You will see in that randomly(?) bolded quote where it also includes the words "Session zero is the perfect time for you and the players to discuss". Since there is zero reason for a player to expect any of

Spoiler: the following

• A: A right to seize control of the GM's game world by personally choosing to control an NPC that comes up
• B: A right to force the GM to retcon history & past events in their game world
• C: A right to force the GM to freeze sections of their game world in carbonite without needing to express that expectation?

it seems that a player with this particular red flag expectation (like my former player "Alice" described here & here) should take it upon themselves to make proactive use of that "and the players" to risk admitting what others could view as a red flag

 

[Yaarel]

This is going to be an incendiary tangent to the thread, please start a new thread for this topic.

My main concern about "boundaries" and "ownership" is the respectful treatment of a character of a reallife player.

This respect remains in place whether the player is present or away.

There are posts in this thread that explicitly describe a DM treating a player character in humiliating ways that probably do constitute bullying or harassment.

 

[Irlo]

There are posts in this thread that explicitly describe a DM treating a player character in humiliating ways that probably do constitute bullying or harassment.

Yes, let's not do that, for all sorts of reasons. (Again, not for the reason that the player "owns" the character.)

I don't think you and I are talking about the same type of boundaries at all, so I won't be drilling into this topic any futher.

 

[TwoSix]

This is going to be an incendiary tangent to the thread, please start a new thread for this topic.

Agreed. Not engaging with this topic at all, it's way beyond the scope of the thread.

 

[TheSword]

Who can ever really ‘own’ anything?

In the world of DayZ we have a phrase when a character dies and bemoans losing all their stuff - “it’s not your gear - you’re just borrowing it for a while”

 

[ShinHakkaider]

The player ALWAYS has ownership of that PC. ALWAYS. If the campaign is over and I want to have that PC make an appearance as an NPC I notify that player and ask them if it's okay that I use their PC in that fashion. If for whatever reason the answer is no then I use an actual NPC. But once your character, ALWAYS your character is my policy.