Most amusing line in a game book?

[glass]

Hi all,

Have you ever been reading a game book when something in it made you stop and laugh out load? Is there something that makes you chuckle every time you read it?

My example is this: The Realms of Sorcerery for WFRP (1st edition) has a chapter on alchemists which describes (amongst other things) a selection of mythical materials which certain alchemsist strive to synthesise. One paragraph in this section is about 'the Alkahest', or universal solvent. The last line of the paragraph reads something like:

It is considered impolite to ask an alchemist specialising in the Alkahest what it would be stored in if it was ever dicovered.

Makes me laugh every time. So, what are your examples?


glass.

 

[Cor Azer]

Hi all,

Have you ever been reading a game book when something in it made you stop and laugh out load? Is there something that makes you checkle every time you read it?

My example is this: The Realms of Sorcerery for WFRP (1st edition) has a chapter on alchemists which describes (amongst other things) a selection of mythical materials which certain alchemsist strive to synthesise. One paragraph in this section is about 'the Alkahest', or universal solvent. The last line of the paragraph reads something like:

It is considered impolite to ask an alchemist specialising in the Alkahest what it would be stored in if it was ever dicovered.

Makes me laugh every time. So, what are your examples?


glass.

I can't recall chapter/page, but in the 3.0 DMG (dunno if it's also in the 3.5 version) there was a throwaway reference to sharks with lasers (a la Austin Powers). I got a kick when I noticed that.

 

[paradox42]

In the Expanded Psionics Handbook, the power Deja Vu is printed twice, on alternate pages. You have to be paying pretty close attention to your reading to notice it, as it isn't far out of alphabetical order when it shows up the second time. And yes, the editors at WotC did that one deliberately- they like a good joke as much as anybody else.

 

[GQuail]

It is considered impolite to ask an alchemist specialising in the Alkahest what it would be stored in if it was ever dicovered.

My D&D group asked this question once re: Unviersal Solvent: there was indeed some giggling, and after a wee think I told them that it would work a bit like superglue, i.e. it only really becomes universal solvent on exposure to air.

Alas, they insisted on asking every week for a month or two, so they must have found it as funny a thought as you did. ;-)

As for my own favourite funnies - The Paranoia XP book is more purposefully supposed to be a dark comedy RPG, but it's filled with both funny in-game stuff and great quotes from other sources. When discussing medication and drugs it has a quote from Ozzy Osbourne, saying that his drugs made him paranoid "like Clouseau on Acid.", and that he'd go about thinking things like "who put this cornflake there?" When I want to imagine the world of a drugged-up Clone, that always sets the scene as well as putting a smirk on my mug. ;-)

 

[Umbran]

Hi all,

Have you ever been reading a game book when something in it made you stop and laugh out load? Is there something that makes you checkle every time you read it?

Yep. HōL (Human Occupied Landfill). Pretty much the entire book, and all the supplements. Doubly so for the line about the orcs.

 

[DMH]

Paths of Power I & II have many humorous tidbits. I love the one for aberration magic:

“Squee! Oooolloolloo!” (The creature waves its
tentacles wildly.)
“Uh… guys, I think that means it will let us
pass… or it’s demanding a toll of five cheese
wheels... or it called your mother a filthy cheese
wheel...”

And then there is Blasphemous Secrets and Forbidden Lore (3 of them)- plenty of humor in them.

From the spell, Snatch Your Head:

If the number rolled does beat the target’s maximum hit
points, their head comes off and flies into the caster’s
outstretched hand. The target is now as dead as
Spelljammer, unless of course they are the kind of
target who doesn’t mind having their head snatched
off.

 

[Thanee]

While raging, a barbarian cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except for Balance, Escape Artist, Intimidate, and Ride), the Concentration skill, or any abilities that require patience or concentration, nor can he cast spells or activate magic items that require a command word, a spell trigger (such as a wand), or spell completion (such as a scroll) to function. He can use any feat he has except Combat Expertise, item creation feats, and metamagic feats.

It's kinda funny to point out, that barbarians cannot create magic items... while raging.

Bye
Thanee

 

[Infernal Teddy]

Yep. HōL (Human Occupied Landfill). Pretty much the entire book, and all the supplements. Doubly so for the line about the orcs.

QFT

 

[Storm Raven]

Hi all,

Have you ever been reading a game book when something in it made you stop and laugh out load? Is there something that makes you checkle every time you read it?

I don't think so. It is really hard to make me laugh out load and checkle.

 

[Glyfair]

While not in a book, one of the Dungeon Delve characters (the dwarf Tauroc) has this on his character sheet:

"Sneaking: Move at half speed. You have Hide +0 and Move Silently +0. Good luck with that."