Are you in the RPG closet?

[Afrodyte]

We're still allowed to get married though, right?

Only in Massachusetts and Vermont, and they're called civil unions.

But you can forget about adoption.

 

[jaerdaph]

Only in Massachusetts and Vermont, and they're called civil unions.

But you can forget about adoption.

Someday gamers will have the same rights as everyone else.

 

[Gloomshroud]

I make no bones about it. As a matter of fact, I'm aggressively open. I've been known to make fun of people for NOT playing D&D. I don't understand how you don't think this hobby is the most excellent thing...ever.

As a matter of fact, I work in IT, and on slow days (like today, right now) I freely work on D&D stuff right here at my desk. I am known as the "D&D Guy." I don't care if this is good or bad. The last adventure I wrote, I wrote sitting at my work desk, all my books piled up beside me, notes, graph papers, dice...the whole nine yards.

I have had more POSITIVE results than anything. However, I *DO* work in IT, so that may account for it. When I can say "It's the granddaddy of WoW" and about 20 people begin nodding comprehension....

 

[Argyle King]

I've put up a blog post on this same topic, but since I'm genuinely interested in community input and I don't see all that much traffic on my blog, I wanted to ask the EN World community as well.

Do your friends, family and work colleagues know that you play role-playing games? Obviously the people you live with and game with will know, but what about casual acquaintances or family members you only see a couple of times per year? More to the point in my case, what about colleagues from work?

I work for a big financial services company in a well-respected position. Yet I've never talked to anyone at work about my hobby (let alone the fact that I blog about it). It's a big chunk of how I spend my free time, but I never bring it up.

Granted, I'm not close friends with any of my colleagues, but I know about some of their hobbies and they at least know that I enjoy bowling and that my wife and I take care of foster kittens for the local shelter (and to be clear, I do get some gentle teasing about both of these things). My colleagues don't know that I play D&D.

At work, I'm in the RPG closet. Are you? Is it wrong to hide your hobby if you think people will look down on you for it?

I'm completely open about my gaming habits and interests. I don't throw it in the face of people I know, but I have no qualms about talking about my interests, and I imagine it's fairly obvious to figure out my interests by looking at some of the things I wear, car key chain, and etc.

Recently, I've had a conversation with one of the girls I work with about role playing. She had asked about what I do while not at work. She was unfamiliar with the games I play and even the concept of them, so I explained to her the basics of how rpgs work. I think I might actually have a potential new player.

 

[Engilbrand]

I'm also a high school teacher. And I'm in Indiana. My love of gaming usually comes out on the first day. "Here's my name. Here are some things I like to do." I had someone last class ask what I did yesterday. My response was "Gaming. Stuff like D&D." It wasn't D&D, but that's usually the easiest thing for someone to understand. A few of my students actually know what I'm talking about, and I play with a previous student who graduated last year. I don't worry about it.
Actually, there was a Nerd Day at school a few years back, and I brought some D&D books and put out an announcement that I would run a game during lunch. It was shot down over the phone shortly before lunch with a "We don't do that here." I'm fairly certain he was talking about kids leaving lunch to play a game, rather than specifically D&D.
My family knows. I don't know if all of my aunts or uncles do, but that's mainly because it doesn't tend to come up. I wouldn't have a problem being straightforward with it. It's the same for the other teachers. A few of them know. One even played when he was younger. But most don't. Then again, I don't even know most of the teachers in the school, so that shouldn't be much of a surprise.
Ultimately, I would never hide it if asked, and I usually allow it to come out in a conversation if it would add anything.

 

[Osgood]

I have been out of the gamer closet for years. Back in the day I was a bit less forthcoming at work, but after an incident where there was a complaint about me reading a D&D book in the cafeteria and HR backing me (a shock since our HR dept. is notoriously conservative and shady) seven or eight years ago I never shy away from it. I have been surprised to find a lot of gamers and former gamers by being open... an old boss, my dentist, etc.

My openness has led to a few issues, particularly with one side of my family who continues to believe I worship the devil. I haven't spoken to any of them in years... which is a pretty good deal for me because they are despicable for ideologies far worse than anti-gamerism.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

I'm pretty much in the closet with people other than good friends. I won't deny it if somebody were to bring up gaming, but I won't bring it up myself unless my Gamer-dar gets a really strong ping.

[edit]After I introduced my wife to gaming, she was initially not in the RPG closet. She discovered why I tended to be in the closet when one of her co-workers and her husband, whom we hung out with fairly often, tried to "save our souls" from the evils of RPGs. We explained to them why our souls were not in danger, but there was a very awkward vibe between us for a long time after that.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I'm definitely a lot more open about than I once was. My immediate family and my wife's immediate family all know that I play. My neighbours all know that I play as they asked about the cars at my house every second week. They now refer to my fortnightly D&D sessions as "nerd night" (in a playful half-razzing manner).

I also play Blood Bowl (a Games Workshop board game/tabletop fantasy football game that uses minis). Last year I showed one of my co-workers the minis I had painted after she asked about what my case was for (it was a protective case to transport my team).

I'm still not overt about my gaming in general. I don't bring it up unless someone asks about it directly and most of the people I work with would still be totally unaware that I'm a big gamer, despite having worked with me for a couple of years. However if someone asked me about my gaming I would be happy to talk about it with them and certainly wouldn't deny it. It's just something that doesn't really come up in conversation.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Olaf the Stout]

Original poster here. The replies to this thread have been illuminating - thank you all for your input! I like the idea of a poll, although I feel like we have a pretty good idea of the results just from following this thread.

It looks like nearly everyone is open about their gaming to close friends and family, and the question of being open to co-workers is pretty well split between those who game with their colleagues/discuss gaming openly and those who make no effort to bring it up, mixed with a little bit of "I actively hide my gaming from my colleagues." I feel better - I'm not the only one who feels like bringing up my gaming to my colleagues could be a bad idea for my career.

That said, I'm happy to report that I've taken the first tentative step out of the RPG closet today. In an email exchange with a co-worker I mentioned being a nerd (in a non-gaming context) and she commented that she's a bigger nerd than I am. I told her that she didn't know who she was messing with, and that the players in my Dungeons and Dragons campaign would have a thing or two to say about that (clarifying that this was not a joke).

Ah, it feels liberating to show a little bit of my true colors!

Did she respond to you e-mail after you "outed" yourself? What was her response?

Olaf the Stout

 

[Vanifae]

I used to be in the closet, gaming wise. But now I just let it all hang out, I don't hide it and I love it. If people don't like it or think it's weird that is their problem. I love this hobby and probably always will.