Krug
Newshound
Courtesy of Hatrack River forums...
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where in the world is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
12. [spoiler edited]
13. "Woot" loudly whenever Arwen or Eowyn appear on screen.
14. See the movie 12 times, memorize the lines with a friend, and then for the 13th time, say them out loud.
15. Criticize every little detail that is different from the books to the stranger sitting next to you.
15b. If that's too much trouble, make some up. "I swear, in the book, Aragorn had six fingers on his left hand. At the end, some spaniard killed him."
16. Walk up to some random person, hand them a box, say "Take this, run!" Then have a friend in a black cloak come and mug them while screaming incomprehensibly.
17. 1 giant oversized can of Raid for Shelob's big scene.
18. In you best "Gremlin" voice, yell "Bright Light. Bright Light" whenever Galadriel's vial is used.
19. After the movie is over, call everyone back to explain the parts of the book that weren't in the movie.
20. Be overly dramatic. Laugh too loud at the jokes, scream too loud at the intense moments, and give a blood curling scream of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" when the moment arises.
21. Bring a sign demanding "Best Supporting Actor" Oscar for the midget they put in the Gollum suit.
22. As soon as the lights go out, start making the Gollum noise, followed occasionaly with "Quite my prescious."
23. Stand outside the theater with a petition condemning this biased/racist view of a legitamate Orcish culture. Demand people sign.
24. In TTT, during the Ent attack on Isengard, run up to the screen and thow green globs of stuff at it. Say it's sap. Say you're with PETTS (People for the Ethical Treatment of Trees and Shrubbery.) Scream about this being the worst botanical misrepresentation since the Knights Who Said Ni sent Arthur in search of a Shrubbery. Then claim that 42 trees were killed in the making of this scene.
25. Every time Frodo is in danger yell (in your best Sam impression) things like, "Mr. Frodo sir, are you all right?" and, "Gandalf said Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee. And I won't."
26. Insist loudly that Frodo's name in the books was Bilbo and he was from someplace called "Middle Earth" not "the Shire!". Refuse to be corrected.
27. When Gandalf becomes White, insist loudly that he was grey in the book and that you are appalled at PJ's lack of sensitivity to the readers.
28. Pass out copies of the book of mormon and Doctorine and Covanents and inform people that LotR was actually stolen from the Mormon Culture.
29. Launch into a long discussion of Elvish genealogy. Include an explanation of the different types of elves and their histories.
30. Form all plurals using -ses: ticketses, chairses, and usherses.
31. Bring Brillo pads to protest the lack of Scouring in this movie.
32. Bring a group of girls with you and giggle loudly at every single time Legolas appears on screen and speaks Elvish. (fan banners and billboards optional)
33. Exclaim loudly that something PJ did differently is just "a glitch in the matrix".
34. Shout "NO PIPPIN! DON"T TOUCH THAT!"
35. Root for the bad guys, laughing whenever one of the fellowship gets hurt, and sobbing hysterically when Sauron is defeated.
36. After the show as you leave your seat, wonder loudly why Frodo didn't just Fed Ex the ring and have done with it.
36b. Alternatively, after the show you ask out loud why Gandalf didn't just have one of the Eagles take Frodo to Mount Doom in the first place.
38. Say "I don't get it. Why would a ring be able to do that? It doesn't make any sense. Oh wait! It's a MAGIC ring. That's what it was! Wow! Cool!."
39. Keep calling your brother on your cell phone to dictate key plot points (in a very loud voice) as they happen. "Oh my gosh, you won't BELIEVE this....."
40. Complain at every plot twist that the movie obviously stole its storyline from Led Zeppelin and Rush lyrics.
41. Sing the Tom Bombadil song and remark to your friends that you wish that segment had been left in.
42. Whenever Arwen appears, yell, "SING WALK THIS WAY!!!"
43. Whenever anyone dies in the presence of Gimli, wonder aloud if it had anything to do with "bad dates."
44. If anyone seems disappointed at the parts they left out, reply, "hey, at least it's better than that last Dungeons and Dragons movie."
45. Every time a new character manifests himself, whisper loudly to your friends, "okay, is hethe Lord of the Rings?"
46. When Aragorn is crowned, yell "Its Good to be the King!"
47. Complain bitterly that the cutting of the House of Healing scene is all a plot by the AMA and big Insurance companies.
48. Make a petition to change the title of the third movie stating that it's misleading to Elvis fans, and try to get signatures from people in line.
49. Spit popcorn all over the person in front of you and shout, "We can'ts eat hobbit food! We must starve!"
50. Whenever someone on screen says "The Ring of Power," yell out "HEY! That was Wagner's idea first!! Cheaters!!"
51. Bring a feather duster and tickle the back of the neck of the person in front of you when Shelob appears and every few minutes after that for the rest of the movie. Be quick and look nonchalant so they don't know it's you.
52. Go with a group of friends and all carry BIC lighters. Whenever a song comes on, as a group, flick your lighters and sway back and forth in time to the music.
53. Wear "elf" ears to the movie, and while you're wating in line, do the Vulcan "live long and prosper" sign to as many people as possible.
54. Announce that you're going to file a complaint with the NAACP because the black riders aren't really black, and you're sick and tired of the man trying to keep you down.
55. Any time elves appear, say "Which one's Will Ferrell?"
56. At the end, proclaim "But I thought Magneto was the BAD guy".
57. Say "Look, it's Boromir's wood!" when Boromir appears carrying firewood in FOTR.
57b. And then nudge, nudge, wink, wink, when Gandalf tells Theoden he'd regain his strength if his hand gripped his sword.
58. During the big battle scenes, jump up, point, and yell, "I found Waldo."
59. At the end say, "I can't wait for the next one."
_________________
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where in the world is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
12. [spoiler edited]
13. "Woot" loudly whenever Arwen or Eowyn appear on screen.
14. See the movie 12 times, memorize the lines with a friend, and then for the 13th time, say them out loud.
15. Criticize every little detail that is different from the books to the stranger sitting next to you.
15b. If that's too much trouble, make some up. "I swear, in the book, Aragorn had six fingers on his left hand. At the end, some spaniard killed him."
16. Walk up to some random person, hand them a box, say "Take this, run!" Then have a friend in a black cloak come and mug them while screaming incomprehensibly.
17. 1 giant oversized can of Raid for Shelob's big scene.
18. In you best "Gremlin" voice, yell "Bright Light. Bright Light" whenever Galadriel's vial is used.
19. After the movie is over, call everyone back to explain the parts of the book that weren't in the movie.
20. Be overly dramatic. Laugh too loud at the jokes, scream too loud at the intense moments, and give a blood curling scream of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" when the moment arises.
21. Bring a sign demanding "Best Supporting Actor" Oscar for the midget they put in the Gollum suit.
22. As soon as the lights go out, start making the Gollum noise, followed occasionaly with "Quite my prescious."
23. Stand outside the theater with a petition condemning this biased/racist view of a legitamate Orcish culture. Demand people sign.
24. In TTT, during the Ent attack on Isengard, run up to the screen and thow green globs of stuff at it. Say it's sap. Say you're with PETTS (People for the Ethical Treatment of Trees and Shrubbery.) Scream about this being the worst botanical misrepresentation since the Knights Who Said Ni sent Arthur in search of a Shrubbery. Then claim that 42 trees were killed in the making of this scene.
25. Every time Frodo is in danger yell (in your best Sam impression) things like, "Mr. Frodo sir, are you all right?" and, "Gandalf said Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee. And I won't."
26. Insist loudly that Frodo's name in the books was Bilbo and he was from someplace called "Middle Earth" not "the Shire!". Refuse to be corrected.
27. When Gandalf becomes White, insist loudly that he was grey in the book and that you are appalled at PJ's lack of sensitivity to the readers.
28. Pass out copies of the book of mormon and Doctorine and Covanents and inform people that LotR was actually stolen from the Mormon Culture.
29. Launch into a long discussion of Elvish genealogy. Include an explanation of the different types of elves and their histories.
30. Form all plurals using -ses: ticketses, chairses, and usherses.
31. Bring Brillo pads to protest the lack of Scouring in this movie.
32. Bring a group of girls with you and giggle loudly at every single time Legolas appears on screen and speaks Elvish. (fan banners and billboards optional)
33. Exclaim loudly that something PJ did differently is just "a glitch in the matrix".
34. Shout "NO PIPPIN! DON"T TOUCH THAT!"
35. Root for the bad guys, laughing whenever one of the fellowship gets hurt, and sobbing hysterically when Sauron is defeated.
36. After the show as you leave your seat, wonder loudly why Frodo didn't just Fed Ex the ring and have done with it.
36b. Alternatively, after the show you ask out loud why Gandalf didn't just have one of the Eagles take Frodo to Mount Doom in the first place.
38. Say "I don't get it. Why would a ring be able to do that? It doesn't make any sense. Oh wait! It's a MAGIC ring. That's what it was! Wow! Cool!."
39. Keep calling your brother on your cell phone to dictate key plot points (in a very loud voice) as they happen. "Oh my gosh, you won't BELIEVE this....."
40. Complain at every plot twist that the movie obviously stole its storyline from Led Zeppelin and Rush lyrics.
41. Sing the Tom Bombadil song and remark to your friends that you wish that segment had been left in.
42. Whenever Arwen appears, yell, "SING WALK THIS WAY!!!"
43. Whenever anyone dies in the presence of Gimli, wonder aloud if it had anything to do with "bad dates."
44. If anyone seems disappointed at the parts they left out, reply, "hey, at least it's better than that last Dungeons and Dragons movie."
45. Every time a new character manifests himself, whisper loudly to your friends, "okay, is hethe Lord of the Rings?"
46. When Aragorn is crowned, yell "Its Good to be the King!"
47. Complain bitterly that the cutting of the House of Healing scene is all a plot by the AMA and big Insurance companies.
48. Make a petition to change the title of the third movie stating that it's misleading to Elvis fans, and try to get signatures from people in line.
49. Spit popcorn all over the person in front of you and shout, "We can'ts eat hobbit food! We must starve!"
50. Whenever someone on screen says "The Ring of Power," yell out "HEY! That was Wagner's idea first!! Cheaters!!"
51. Bring a feather duster and tickle the back of the neck of the person in front of you when Shelob appears and every few minutes after that for the rest of the movie. Be quick and look nonchalant so they don't know it's you.
52. Go with a group of friends and all carry BIC lighters. Whenever a song comes on, as a group, flick your lighters and sway back and forth in time to the music.
53. Wear "elf" ears to the movie, and while you're wating in line, do the Vulcan "live long and prosper" sign to as many people as possible.
54. Announce that you're going to file a complaint with the NAACP because the black riders aren't really black, and you're sick and tired of the man trying to keep you down.
55. Any time elves appear, say "Which one's Will Ferrell?"
56. At the end, proclaim "But I thought Magneto was the BAD guy".
57. Say "Look, it's Boromir's wood!" when Boromir appears carrying firewood in FOTR.
57b. And then nudge, nudge, wink, wink, when Gandalf tells Theoden he'd regain his strength if his hand gripped his sword.
58. During the big battle scenes, jump up, point, and yell, "I found Waldo."
59. At the end say, "I can't wait for the next one."
_________________
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