"Hey! Hey you! C'mere, lemme tell ya a story. You heard o' Gouki, right? 'Course you have, ain't nobody never heard o' Gouki and his Iron whasits. They run the Iron Ring, and some say that the profits from his steetfights flow all the way back to the Iron General in the Kingdom o' Jade. Alla his fights are to the death, and he keeps the bodies, too; sells 'em to Rinch and the Ab-Dead."
"'Course, anyone who's anyone'll tell ya that there ain't no REAL Iron Ring. Not liter'ly, anyways. 'S just a word used ta describe them organized fights that Gouki's thugs run. If'n ya see a pair a guys hittin' each other in the dead o' night, and there's a big crowd watchin' an' hootin' and hollarin', 's a safe bet that yer lookin' at a match in the Iron Ring. But let me tell you; there IS an Iron Ring. One for the high class fights, and Gouki himself personally judges it."
"'How?', you ask? 'How can such an arena not've been shut down by the guard long time ago?' Well, I'll tell ya. Gouki, he's got this chain, right? A magic chain. A big ol' chain, linked together in a circle. When it's spread full on a flat surface an' the right words is said, it becomes more'n just a chain on the ground. Iron bars rise up into a dome, the insides covered in wicked spikes. You understand? Gouki's got himself a portable arena! S'what lets him stay two steps ahead o' the guard."
"Anyway, this was a few nights ago. Gouki's fights bring in a pretty high-class crowd, rich folk bettin' their ill-gotten gains on exotic mercenaries choppin' each other up. So there's this fight, right? Some hired hob from Bacarte takin' on a fancy death-speaker from the Valley of Bone. You know the type, right? Weird face paint, shrunken heads hangin' from his staff, all the works. And they're fightin', and the shaman's got the upper hand. Suddenly, the shaman looks weaker, and the hob takes advantage of it to run him through with his sword. Now, the crowd goes wild, but Gouki? He stands up from his throne and calls a halt to the fight. Calls a halt to the fight! Can ya believe it? Nobody EVER calls a halt to a fight in the Iron Ring. But Gouki orders the cage down, and goes to inspect the body. Sure enough, there was a poisoned dart stickin' out o' his side."
"Now, there ain't many rules in the Iron Ring, but no outside help is one o' 'em. His boys comb the crowd, and two guys get pushed forward. One is a female hob, some emissary from the Merchants on whose behalf the hob in the ring was fightin'. The other is this tiny goblin feller, holdin' a blowgun and lookin' like he'd seen a ghost. Its the four of 'em in the ring; Gouki and the three cheatin' goblins. Gouki orders the cage be raised. The crowd, they go NUTS! Gouki's gonna take on three goblins all by hisself! The bars raise up, the dome is sealed at the top, and the fight's on. The goblins fan out, surroundin' him."
"Now, if you ain't never seen Gouki before, lemme tell you; the man is big. BIG big. Bigger'n yer average size goliath, I'd say. Bald, too. Bulging with muscles, wearin' nothin' but this weird skirt-robe-thing. I'm told its some kinda thing from the Kingdom o' Jade, ceremonial dress for honorable combat and whatnot."
"So they're in the ring, right? And for a minute r'two, they just don't move. The goblins is scared, ya see? 'Specially the little one, he's shakin' up somethin' FIERCE. Anyway, eventually the little guy finds his nerve and loads another dart into his blowgun. He spits the thing at Gouki, and get this: the man catches the dart in the air. Swear on my mother's grave, god rest her soul, I'm telling you the truth. The man caught the dart out of the air, and threw it back at the goblin. Caught him right below his right eye, through and through, hittin' a guy in the croud, which is goin' NUTS, by the by, they're eatin' this stuff up. One down, two to go."
"A'fore the fancy hob merc can respond, Gouki's right there, towerin' in front o' him. Gouki, he don't even make a fist, he just takes his open palm and shoves it into the merc's chest. The hob stumbles back, straight into the spikes that line the dome. Poor guy gets skewered right there and then, stuck on the spikes. The fella can't get hisself down, so he just hangs there, slowly bleedin' to death."
"There's only one left now, and she looks mighty pissed. She reaches into her fancy robes, pulls out a dagger, and just plain charges at Gouki, screamin' at the top o' her lungs. Gouki just stands there, hands folded across his chest, waitin'. Once she gets close, he grabs her wrist, and she stops dead in her tracks. Then, he does the weirdest thing, and I swear this is true. Slowly, gently, he guides the dagger into him, the blade sheathin' itself in his chest. And his face! Unflinchin', I swear! Like he didn't even feel it goin' in. His grip tightens, and the hob lets go o' the dagger's hilt."
"Gouki rips the dagger from his chest, and in a flash he's behind her, one hand around her neck, the other clasped on her chin. The crowd is deathly silent now, they know that's comin' next, and they wanna hear it. Gouki, he whispers somethin' into that hob's ear, and her face goes white. Whatever it was that Gouki told her, it scared her more than the prospect o' death. Gouki snaps the hob's neck-CRRRICK- and the croud goes nuts."
"Anyway, that's what happened a few nights ago in the Iron Ring. Crazy stuff, huh!"
