SALUTATIONS AND TREPIDATIONS!
What is this? Two, two, TWO Snarfticles in one day? That's right. After much more than fortnite's absence, I decided to post one essay. And then, for your Friday afternoon pleasure, I decided to be twice as nice!
Nice? Well, you know what they say.... you enter a contest. First place, you get one Snarf Essay. Second place? Two Snarf essays. Last place? A TORRENT OF VERBAIGE CONSTANTLY MAINLINED INTO YOUR VEINS.
Anway, it's been a while since I've done one of these. So .... how do I do the whole Snarf Lays Down the What is Correct and Just by Presenting an Inarguable List of Greatest Things That People Will Argue With Anyway!
Now I know what you're thinking. "Self, I like sugar. How can I steal all of the kids' Halloween Candy?" But you're also thinking, "Self, why should I care about this list? Atari 2600? What is an ATARI? Wait, was that something from Bladerunner 2049?" Well, the answer to that is ... you don't have to care about this list. I can't make myself care about anything ... how can I make you care about stuff? Anyway, I'm a little out of practice, but if I recall correctly, I usually post some sort of rules here. Mostly so people can tell me that the rules suck, and they have better rules.
Rules for the TOP TEN GREATEST ATARI 2600 GAMES OF ALL TIME THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE PLAYED AND YOU WILL BE THE LOSEREST OF LOSERS IF'N YOU HAVEN'T.
A. This is a list of games for the Atari 2600. Also called the Atari Video Computer System. Not the Atari 5200. Not the Intellivsion. Not the ColecoVision. Magnovox Odyssey? Heck to the no. And take you little ol' Nintendo and your Italian plumbers and your confusingly named gorilla right on out of here.
B. However, if the game was cross-platform, I suppose it's fine.
C. I had to have played the game. If you think a game was the bestest game ever .... but I never played it ... then it probably wasn't that good, was it?
D. Does importance to the overall game industry matter? Eh, sure. But that doesn't trump sheer awesomeness.
E. The list is not in order- this is just the top 10, and being #1 is not more important than being #10.
1. Warlords (1980). Take your new-fangled "couch co-op" games and shove 'em. Warlords distill action into its most basic components, putting the fun in fundamental. Play with up to four people at the same time as you attempt to utterly annihilate your opponents, making and breaking alliances as you play. Much like a game of Diplomacy, you will start play as friends, and end play as bitter enemies.
2. Combat (1977). Choose tanks, jets, or bi-planes, and then face off against one other player.
3. Adventure (1980). The ur-fantasy game for consoles, it was also the subject of legends for not only the glitches, but the famous Easter Egg. Yeah, you know what I mean.
4. Yars' Revenge (1982). The concept- what if boss fight, but just boss fight? From that simple concept, the innovative game of Yars' revenge was born. Qotile might have conquered me then, but I will have my day!
5. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1982). Yeah, I went there. Pushing the paltry hardware of the 2600 to the limit, and often past it, Raiders is one of the most difficult challenges many people had to face at the time.
6. Pitfall! (1982). ... do you remember when people didn't hate Activision? ....Pepperidge Farm remembers.....
7. Space Invaders (1980). Other games improved on this model, but you can't leave the OG off.
8. Berzerk (1982). Multidirectional shooting FTW!
9. Kool-Aid Man (1983). Did you know that if you wrote into General Foods, they would send you this game? OH YEAH!
10. Atlantis (1982). Made by Imagic, it looked like Missile Command and played like Space Invaders. I'd also accept Demon Attack here.
What is this? Two, two, TWO Snarfticles in one day? That's right. After much more than fortnite's absence, I decided to post one essay. And then, for your Friday afternoon pleasure, I decided to be twice as nice!
Nice? Well, you know what they say.... you enter a contest. First place, you get one Snarf Essay. Second place? Two Snarf essays. Last place? A TORRENT OF VERBAIGE CONSTANTLY MAINLINED INTO YOUR VEINS.
Anway, it's been a while since I've done one of these. So .... how do I do the whole Snarf Lays Down the What is Correct and Just by Presenting an Inarguable List of Greatest Things That People Will Argue With Anyway!
Now I know what you're thinking. "Self, I like sugar. How can I steal all of the kids' Halloween Candy?" But you're also thinking, "Self, why should I care about this list? Atari 2600? What is an ATARI? Wait, was that something from Bladerunner 2049?" Well, the answer to that is ... you don't have to care about this list. I can't make myself care about anything ... how can I make you care about stuff? Anyway, I'm a little out of practice, but if I recall correctly, I usually post some sort of rules here. Mostly so people can tell me that the rules suck, and they have better rules.
Rules for the TOP TEN GREATEST ATARI 2600 GAMES OF ALL TIME THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE PLAYED AND YOU WILL BE THE LOSEREST OF LOSERS IF'N YOU HAVEN'T.
A. This is a list of games for the Atari 2600. Also called the Atari Video Computer System. Not the Atari 5200. Not the Intellivsion. Not the ColecoVision. Magnovox Odyssey? Heck to the no. And take you little ol' Nintendo and your Italian plumbers and your confusingly named gorilla right on out of here.
B. However, if the game was cross-platform, I suppose it's fine.
C. I had to have played the game. If you think a game was the bestest game ever .... but I never played it ... then it probably wasn't that good, was it?
D. Does importance to the overall game industry matter? Eh, sure. But that doesn't trump sheer awesomeness.
E. The list is not in order- this is just the top 10, and being #1 is not more important than being #10.
1. Warlords (1980). Take your new-fangled "couch co-op" games and shove 'em. Warlords distill action into its most basic components, putting the fun in fundamental. Play with up to four people at the same time as you attempt to utterly annihilate your opponents, making and breaking alliances as you play. Much like a game of Diplomacy, you will start play as friends, and end play as bitter enemies.
2. Combat (1977). Choose tanks, jets, or bi-planes, and then face off against one other player.
3. Adventure (1980). The ur-fantasy game for consoles, it was also the subject of legends for not only the glitches, but the famous Easter Egg. Yeah, you know what I mean.
4. Yars' Revenge (1982). The concept- what if boss fight, but just boss fight? From that simple concept, the innovative game of Yars' revenge was born. Qotile might have conquered me then, but I will have my day!
5. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1982). Yeah, I went there. Pushing the paltry hardware of the 2600 to the limit, and often past it, Raiders is one of the most difficult challenges many people had to face at the time.
6. Pitfall! (1982). ... do you remember when people didn't hate Activision? ....Pepperidge Farm remembers.....
7. Space Invaders (1980). Other games improved on this model, but you can't leave the OG off.
8. Berzerk (1982). Multidirectional shooting FTW!
9. Kool-Aid Man (1983). Did you know that if you wrote into General Foods, they would send you this game? OH YEAH!
10. Atlantis (1982). Made by Imagic, it looked like Missile Command and played like Space Invaders. I'd also accept Demon Attack here.