There’s nothing quite so vulnerable as a DM asking new players to join your game.
Finding new players for a long-running tabletop role-playing game campaign can be challenging, especially in these times of social distancing and online gaming. There are many factors to consider and potential pools to draw from, such as family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and online communities. Each of these has its own pros and cons, and requires a different approach.
However, playing RPGs with your family can also have some drawbacks. For one thing, not all family members may be interested in or familiar with RPGs, and you may have to convince them to give it a try. You may also have to deal with some family dynamics, such as sibling rivalry, parental authority, or marital tension that could affect the game.
Sharing with family members is a bit different than other groups because the family member knows you better than most, but may not know your game. The rules might be intimidating but getting to know you will be less of a challenge, so focus on the rules and mechanics of the game.
However, RPGs are not for everybody, and since they’re still your friends, you need to respect that if they choose not to play. I’ve had limited success on this front; I’ve converted a few friends to gaming but none of them have really stuck with it. You may also have to deal with some social issues, such as peer pressure, group dynamics, or friendship conflicts, that could affect the game.
Once you start looking for players outside of your social circle, this is where incompatibilities may arise in play styles, or between friends. And if things don’t work out, you’ll need to consider how that affects your friend who is already in the game.
Unlike friends, these potential players are obviously interested in the game but you don’t know much about them. As a result, you’ll probably need to do more vetting, depending on the platform or venue you use. Approaching strangers requires a bit of a sales pitch: you can describe the basic details of your game, such as the setting, the system, the schedule, the tone, and the rules. You can also describe yourself as a DM, and explain your style, your experience, and your expectations. I’ve played at a LOT of conventions with random strangers, and it’s a challenging experience to find someone who is compatible with your style.
This is hard work. If you have social anxiety, it’s even harder. You have to put yourself out there, and invite others to join your adventure. You have to be open and flexible, and adapt to different people and situations. But you also get a chance to share your game, make new friends, and have fun. When you find your people, it’s worth it.
Your Turn: How do you find new players?
Finding new players for a long-running tabletop role-playing game campaign can be challenging, especially in these times of social distancing and online gaming. There are many factors to consider and potential pools to draw from, such as family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and online communities. Each of these has its own pros and cons, and requires a different approach.
Family Members
One of the first and easiest sources of potential players is your own family. Whether it’s your spouse, your kids, your siblings, or your parents, you already have a close relationship with them, and you know their personalities, interests, and schedules. You also have easy access to them, and you can play with them at home, without having to travel or use online platforms. I’ve played regularly with my spouse, my brother, and even my sister-in-law.However, playing RPGs with your family can also have some drawbacks. For one thing, not all family members may be interested in or familiar with RPGs, and you may have to convince them to give it a try. You may also have to deal with some family dynamics, such as sibling rivalry, parental authority, or marital tension that could affect the game.
Sharing with family members is a bit different than other groups because the family member knows you better than most, but may not know your game. The rules might be intimidating but getting to know you will be less of a challenge, so focus on the rules and mechanics of the game.
Non-Gamer Friends
Another source of potential players is your existing circle of friends who are not into gaming. These are people who you already know and like, and who share some of your interests. You already have a rapport which makes this approaching them a bit easier. It’s a chance to share your hobby with them.However, RPGs are not for everybody, and since they’re still your friends, you need to respect that if they choose not to play. I’ve had limited success on this front; I’ve converted a few friends to gaming but none of them have really stuck with it. You may also have to deal with some social issues, such as peer pressure, group dynamics, or friendship conflicts, that could affect the game.
Friend of Friends
Another source of potential players is your extended network of acquaintances, or friends of friends. These are people who you don’t know very well, but who have some connection or relation to your existing friends. Many of the new players I have in my campaign are friends of friends.Once you start looking for players outside of your social circle, this is where incompatibilities may arise in play styles, or between friends. And if things don’t work out, you’ll need to consider how that affects your friend who is already in the game.
Online and In-Person Gaming Spaces
Another source of potential players is the online and offline communities of gamers, such as websites, forums, social media, apps, or hobby shops. These are people who you don’t know personally, but who have a common interest in gaming.Unlike friends, these potential players are obviously interested in the game but you don’t know much about them. As a result, you’ll probably need to do more vetting, depending on the platform or venue you use. Approaching strangers requires a bit of a sales pitch: you can describe the basic details of your game, such as the setting, the system, the schedule, the tone, and the rules. You can also describe yourself as a DM, and explain your style, your experience, and your expectations. I’ve played at a LOT of conventions with random strangers, and it’s a challenging experience to find someone who is compatible with your style.
Good Luck!
Finding someone who is compatible with your gaming style, and that of your group, is largely a leap of faith. As much as you can try to reduce unknown variables like play styles (when it comes to friends and family) or gaming styles (when it comes to fellow gamers), you can only account for so much. The best way to figure out if it works is to play – perhaps in a shorter game, just to understand if everyone gels. With virtual platforms available, you can use online games as a means of vetting folks before meeting them in person.This is hard work. If you have social anxiety, it’s even harder. You have to put yourself out there, and invite others to join your adventure. You have to be open and flexible, and adapt to different people and situations. But you also get a chance to share your game, make new friends, and have fun. When you find your people, it’s worth it.
Your Turn: How do you find new players?
