Mercurius
Legend
OK, so I finally watched Logan last night, so I'm caught up on all the X-films. Because you all care so much about what I think, I thought I'd rank the films, with brief comments and a letter grade. I invite you to do the same.
For gits and shiggles, I included the Rotten Tomatoes rating in parentheses, mainly out of curiosity as to how they matched up with my own preferences. I'll rank them in reverse order, to build suspense...
THE ABOMINABLE...
10. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (38%) ~ Does anyone actually think this is not the worst X-film, and by a huge margin? I first saw it when it hit video back in late 2009 and thought it sucked; I re-watched it last year, hoping it had aged well, and it was somehow worse. Just a bad film in every possible way that, to add insult to injury, misuses the great Ray Donovan. Maybe the only thing I kinda liked about it is Taylor Kitsch as Gambit; he doesn't really get much to work with, but I think he's a better casting choice than Channing "Beefcake" Tatum. I think I read someone say that this film is so bad it is almost entertaining. Almost. Grade: D
9. X-Men: The Last Stand (58%) ~ Another non-controversial ranking. This film on its own merits is OK, but the fact that it mangles the Greatest X-Story of Them All is just sacrilegious; and it really mangles it. Grade: D+
THE OK...
8. Deadpool (84%) ~ This is probably where I start diverging from popular opinion. Deadpool is a pretty good film, but I'm just not the target audience; long gone are the days in which I thought "look how kewl and funny I am as I dice this dude up" jokes were funny, if I ever did. In fact, I think I lost that sense of humor some time between Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill. Still, it has its moments and is a big jump up from the previous two. Grade: C+
7. X-Men: Apocalypse (48%) ~ Oh how I wanted to like this one. In fact, after first watching it I convinced myself it was really good. But I knew better, and this was confirmed with a second viewing. Still, it is fun to watch with some good bits and I like some of the casting choices, even if I don't think Sansa holds a candle to Famke Janssen, and I detest heavy metal Archangel. Grade: B-
THE GOOD...
6. Logan (93%) ~ OK, it was very good, probably better than I'm giving it credit for. But it was so dark, and I'm getting too old for this shyte; this is where I'm admitting that my subjective preference for a more balanced cuisine of light and dark overrides what it is possibly the best quality film of the entire X corpus, from the perspective of story and acting. Terrific performances from Jackman, Stewart, and that poor little actress they made grow up too soon. And I must admit, I'd love to see a sequel with those kids as a kind of dystopian future version of New Mutants (X-Force? hmm...). Anyhow, if I'm going simply on quality of film-making, I'd give this film an A- or even an A, but ultimately it comes down to enjoyment, and part of me didn't enjoy the experience - not unlike how I felt when watching the similarly quality-but-too-dark Christopher Nolan Bat-films, or just about anything Darren Aronofsky has made. Grade: B+
5. The Wolverine (69%) ~ Perhaps a bit underrated, especially now that Logan is out. This is just a quality superhero/samurai/Bond-with-claws film. It doesn't wow you in any way, just very complete. Grade: B+
4. X-Men (81%) ~ I re-watched this not long ago and it is feeling rather dated, like The Matrix. I guess that's one of the difference between timeless and cult classics. There are a few cringe-worthy moments (just google "worst Storm line in X-Men") but it is a good film and we've got to remember that it was the first really good Marvel superhero film. I am tempted to slot this up in Logan's spot, but am ruled by nostalgia. Grade: B+
3. X-Men: First Class (86%) ~ I actually didn't love this at first, but it really improved with a second and third viewing. Somehow they managed to find actors that actually hold their own to Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan in their younger versions. Still, it isn't great - not quite - just very good. Grade: A-
THE SACRED TWO...
2. X-Men: Days of Future Past (91%) ~ And now we get to the inner circle of X-films, or rather the Sacred Two. This film worked on all levels; it just clicked, with moments of pure genius (Quicksilver; you know the scene). It is a complete film, funny and serious, dark and night, kewl and quality. What more do you want? And those future Sentinels...If anything is lacking, I would have liked to see more of the dark future. Imagine an extended, three hour version of this film that adds almost an hour building the future vision. I know, there's a "Rogue Cut" that adds 17 minutes, but it only wets the appetite for more... Grade: A
1. X2 (86%) ~ I think most now feel that Days of Future Past and Logan are the greatest of all X-films, with perhaps a small Deadpool contingent, but to me it is still X2. While the film is starting to feel a bit dated, it is just pure magic and reaches an incredible crescendo with Jean Grey's sacrifice and tantalizing intimations of Phoenix (all the more reason the Last Stand was such an unholy abomination). I still remember seeing this the first time in the theater with my recently married wife, who knew nothing of the X-Men or geek culture at all. We both left the theater and looked at each other, saying "Wow!" (Or maybe she was just humoring me?). The only other time that we've done that is after seeing Interstellar. I can't quite give it an A+ as it is, well, a superhero film, but it is about as good as it gets. Grade: A
OK, there you have it. Again, feel free to make your own lists.
For gits and shiggles, I included the Rotten Tomatoes rating in parentheses, mainly out of curiosity as to how they matched up with my own preferences. I'll rank them in reverse order, to build suspense...
THE ABOMINABLE...
10. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (38%) ~ Does anyone actually think this is not the worst X-film, and by a huge margin? I first saw it when it hit video back in late 2009 and thought it sucked; I re-watched it last year, hoping it had aged well, and it was somehow worse. Just a bad film in every possible way that, to add insult to injury, misuses the great Ray Donovan. Maybe the only thing I kinda liked about it is Taylor Kitsch as Gambit; he doesn't really get much to work with, but I think he's a better casting choice than Channing "Beefcake" Tatum. I think I read someone say that this film is so bad it is almost entertaining. Almost. Grade: D
9. X-Men: The Last Stand (58%) ~ Another non-controversial ranking. This film on its own merits is OK, but the fact that it mangles the Greatest X-Story of Them All is just sacrilegious; and it really mangles it. Grade: D+
THE OK...
8. Deadpool (84%) ~ This is probably where I start diverging from popular opinion. Deadpool is a pretty good film, but I'm just not the target audience; long gone are the days in which I thought "look how kewl and funny I am as I dice this dude up" jokes were funny, if I ever did. In fact, I think I lost that sense of humor some time between Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill. Still, it has its moments and is a big jump up from the previous two. Grade: C+
7. X-Men: Apocalypse (48%) ~ Oh how I wanted to like this one. In fact, after first watching it I convinced myself it was really good. But I knew better, and this was confirmed with a second viewing. Still, it is fun to watch with some good bits and I like some of the casting choices, even if I don't think Sansa holds a candle to Famke Janssen, and I detest heavy metal Archangel. Grade: B-
THE GOOD...
6. Logan (93%) ~ OK, it was very good, probably better than I'm giving it credit for. But it was so dark, and I'm getting too old for this shyte; this is where I'm admitting that my subjective preference for a more balanced cuisine of light and dark overrides what it is possibly the best quality film of the entire X corpus, from the perspective of story and acting. Terrific performances from Jackman, Stewart, and that poor little actress they made grow up too soon. And I must admit, I'd love to see a sequel with those kids as a kind of dystopian future version of New Mutants (X-Force? hmm...). Anyhow, if I'm going simply on quality of film-making, I'd give this film an A- or even an A, but ultimately it comes down to enjoyment, and part of me didn't enjoy the experience - not unlike how I felt when watching the similarly quality-but-too-dark Christopher Nolan Bat-films, or just about anything Darren Aronofsky has made. Grade: B+
5. The Wolverine (69%) ~ Perhaps a bit underrated, especially now that Logan is out. This is just a quality superhero/samurai/Bond-with-claws film. It doesn't wow you in any way, just very complete. Grade: B+
4. X-Men (81%) ~ I re-watched this not long ago and it is feeling rather dated, like The Matrix. I guess that's one of the difference between timeless and cult classics. There are a few cringe-worthy moments (just google "worst Storm line in X-Men") but it is a good film and we've got to remember that it was the first really good Marvel superhero film. I am tempted to slot this up in Logan's spot, but am ruled by nostalgia. Grade: B+
3. X-Men: First Class (86%) ~ I actually didn't love this at first, but it really improved with a second and third viewing. Somehow they managed to find actors that actually hold their own to Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan in their younger versions. Still, it isn't great - not quite - just very good. Grade: A-
THE SACRED TWO...
2. X-Men: Days of Future Past (91%) ~ And now we get to the inner circle of X-films, or rather the Sacred Two. This film worked on all levels; it just clicked, with moments of pure genius (Quicksilver; you know the scene). It is a complete film, funny and serious, dark and night, kewl and quality. What more do you want? And those future Sentinels...If anything is lacking, I would have liked to see more of the dark future. Imagine an extended, three hour version of this film that adds almost an hour building the future vision. I know, there's a "Rogue Cut" that adds 17 minutes, but it only wets the appetite for more... Grade: A
1. X2 (86%) ~ I think most now feel that Days of Future Past and Logan are the greatest of all X-films, with perhaps a small Deadpool contingent, but to me it is still X2. While the film is starting to feel a bit dated, it is just pure magic and reaches an incredible crescendo with Jean Grey's sacrifice and tantalizing intimations of Phoenix (all the more reason the Last Stand was such an unholy abomination). I still remember seeing this the first time in the theater with my recently married wife, who knew nothing of the X-Men or geek culture at all. We both left the theater and looked at each other, saying "Wow!" (Or maybe she was just humoring me?). The only other time that we've done that is after seeing Interstellar. I can't quite give it an A+ as it is, well, a superhero film, but it is about as good as it gets. Grade: A
OK, there you have it. Again, feel free to make your own lists.
