Random Facts about Vin Diesel

[Dark Jezter]

Saw these on another forum a little earlier, and they had me rolling (although I had to edit a few of the ones that were a little too dirty for EN World). Enjoy!

When Vin Diesel drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.

If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the !&$% down.

There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. !&$% you, team.

When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Vin Diesel was scheduled to be Stalone's stunt double in Rambo, but he was replaced after refusing to wearing a parachute when jumping from the plane.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.

Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.


Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.

Vin Diesel once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.

You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage

You can find all of these and more at http://www.4q.cc/, which also has random facts about Chuck Norris and Mr. T.

(But the questions remains, could Vin Diesel beat up a ninja?)

 

[John Q. Mayhem]

I love that site. It makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

 

[crybaby]

HAHAAHA
I laughed at these for a while and then had to reread several because I laughed before I could get through them. Unfortunatly I cant pick a favorite because there are several which are just awesome! I'm looking forward to reading Chuck Norris' and Mr. T's..

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

Could Vin Diesel create a rock so heavy even He couldn't lift it?

How many Vin Diesels can dance on the head of a pin? (That's a trick question. There's only one Vin Diesel, he doesn't dance, and the only thing he uses a pin for is killing whales.)

 

[Joker]

Historic evidence suggests that it was Mr. T who defeated the giant Goliath. It also suggests that the tiny pebble was actually David.

 

[Aaron L]

(But the questions remains, could Vin Diesel beat up a ninja?)

Vin Diesel invented ninjas, when he invented Japan and katanas.

 

[Dark Jezter]

And now, random facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right.

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living **** out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the **** out of little kids.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

 

[crybaby]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

I think that is my favorite for Chuck but its hard to choose.

I finished looking through the link Dark Jester provided in his first post for Mr. T and my favorite quote by far there is:

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

 

[Angel Tarragon]

So thats why we can't find Waldo! Hehe! Funny stuff!