Norwegian jokes on Swedes

[Bullgrit]

When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. There were several jokes bandied about. I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.)

Bullgrit

 

[Umbran]

The only swede I know had all the brains of a rutabaga.

 

[jonesy]

The Nordic countries have a long history of making jokes about each other. Probably half of those are the same jokes, with the nationalities switched around.

Why did the swede drive five times around the block before getting home? His turn signal jammed.

How do you sink a swedish submarine? Knock.

How can you recognize swedish toilet paper? It has instructions on every sheet.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

The only swede I know had all the brains of a rutabaga.

That is good news for vegan zombies!

 

[RangerWickett]

My mom used to sing,

A thousand Swedes went through the weeds,
Chasing one Norwegian.
A thousand Swedes ran through the weeds,
Chased by one Norwegian.

 

[Iosue]

Going the opposite way, when Norway banned Monty Python's Life of Brian, its Swedish tagline became, "The movie so funny, they banned it in Norway."

 

[Janx]

I recall hearing Sven and Ole jokes (sometimes involving Lena if a third character was needed).

Pretty much all of them are just replays of "demographic" jokes. I'd heard many of them retold as dumb Aggie* jokes. They were usually tamer than "really racist" jokes, and usually told with the Fargo accent (aka what all Minnesotans, Wisconsinites, Yupers and Canadians sound like).

Nowadays, it's probably not cool to tell jokes with any racial demographic. Archie Bunker was probably the last guy to get away with telling a polock joke.

*In Texas, an Aggie is a student from Texas A&M, which they consider a really big deal. they probably have the prize for the school with the highest solidarity and school spirit on the planet. It's like a cult.

 

[vegaserik01]

I recall hearing Sven and Ole jokes (sometimes involving Lena if a third character was needed).

Pretty much all of them are just replays of "demographic" jokes. I'd heard many of them retold as dumb Aggie* jokes. They were usually tamer than "really racist" jokes, and usually told with the Fargo accent (aka what all Minnesotans, Wisconsinites, Yupers and Canadians sound like).

Speaking as someone from Minnesota, we don't all sound like that - just like all Californians don't sound like surfers. But yes Sven and Ole jokes are good for such occasions I grew up by Brainerd (the town in the movie Fargo) and I never heard anyone talk like them.

 

[Morrus]

These things are the same jokes all over the world. Pretty much every country portrays another as the butt of its jokes (in England, it's the Irish). 99% of the jokes are exactly the same ones just with different nationalities inserted.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Amusingly, I had a college friend from San Diego who moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend. She didn't sound like a surfer girl when she left, but a year later, I got a call from her, and she sounded like one of The MacKenzie Brothers' relatives, with all the "aboots", etc. in her speech.