D&D General Memes That Never Were

[Reynard]

There are a lot of D&D memes out there that are sort of considered "facts" about D&D (past or present) that I have never actually seen outside of those memes. The best example is the "bard seduces the dragon" cannard. I have never seen anything even approximating it happen. It's a joke. It isn't something that every happened at the table, as far as I can tell.

What other memes that purport to reflect play culture do you think are nonsense or the behavior is so vanishingly rare it might as well never have happened?

 

[Remathilis]

. The best example is the "bard seduces the dragon" cannard. I have never seen anything even approximating it happen. It's a joke. It isn't something that every happened at the table, as far as I can tell.

...

 

[MarkB]

Donkey's ears are burning.

 

[Steampunkette]

I'm sorry, Reynard. Your experiences are not universal...

Neither are the dragon-lover bard experiences universal...

But they're a meme because they exist. You get Scanlan type bards here and there who are indiscriminate in their sexual conquests and they've been around since before Ed Greenwood started describing the sexual practices of the Forgotten Realms in intricate detail.

Heck. Anyone remember the very old text document for adding sex to AD&D 2e which outright included seducing dragons, comeliness as an attribute, and various magical STDs that circulated message boards?

 

[Stormonu]

The "Ultimate Power" Wizard who can solve any problem with a spell.

The reality usual is "Well, yeah, there is a spell for that but I used my slots on fireball or something else in the last fight." (If it does get used it was probably from a magic item someone in the party had or because the spellcaster came in clutch when nobody had the ability because they were too busy picking out powers that gave them some +1 bonus in combat rather than a niche utility ability that comes up once in a blue moon.)

 

[Reynard]

The "Ultimate Power" Wizard who can solve any problem with a spell.

The reality usual is "Well, yeah, there is a spell for that but I used my slots on fireball or something else in the last fight." (If it does get used it was probably from a magic item someone in the party had or because the spellcaster came in clutch when nobody had the ability because they were too busy picking out powers that gave them some +1 bonus in combat rather than a niche utility ability that comes up once in a blue moon.)

We have a running joke for wizards in our regular campaign: "Not today..."