Help me with Wedding Speech!!!
- Thread starter soulforge
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Queen_Dopplepopolis
First Post
(1) Don't be an ass.
Say nice things about the groom AND his wife.
(2) Don't bring up exs.
That's just mean.
(3) Keep it short.
No longer than 5 minutes.
(4) Practice!
Practice your speech before actually giving it.
As for content - speak from the heart. Can't say what you should say because I don't know the groom or the bride, but the best best man speeches I have heard always discuss how the bride has changed the groom, and how the groom has changed the bride...
Say nice things about the groom AND his wife.
(2) Don't bring up exs.
That's just mean.
(3) Keep it short.
No longer than 5 minutes.
(4) Practice!
Practice your speech before actually giving it.
As for content - speak from the heart. Can't say what you should say because I don't know the groom or the bride, but the best best man speeches I have heard always discuss how the bride has changed the groom, and how the groom has changed the bride...
I gave a best man speech for my best friend's wedding, and I agonized over it for a while. What I came up with was a big hit:
1. Short amusing anecdote about your friendship (mine was the first time we met in junior high, got in a fight, and then ended up friends forever after that)
2. My impression of the good change that came over him when he met the bride.
3. Wishes for happy marriage, etc.
You want it to be short because everyone wants to get on with the eating and dancing. You want to be sincere because you're talking about your friend in public. And you want to not embarrass anyone (especially yourself) since it'll be on video tape and, presumably, watched over and over through the years.
1. Short amusing anecdote about your friendship (mine was the first time we met in junior high, got in a fight, and then ended up friends forever after that)
2. My impression of the good change that came over him when he met the bride.
3. Wishes for happy marriage, etc.
You want it to be short because everyone wants to get on with the eating and dancing. You want to be sincere because you're talking about your friend in public. And you want to not embarrass anyone (especially yourself) since it'll be on video tape and, presumably, watched over and over through the years.
Not knowing the customs of your area, I can only speak of mine.
Around here, the speach to the groom is somewhat of a roast. Albeit a friendly roast. Do not mention ex girlfriends, sexual conquests or illegal activities. Everything else is fair game. The point is to embarass the groom, but keep everyone smiling.
Keep it relatively short. No one wants to sit there for fifteen minutes listening to the stories. Five to six minutes, is perfect. Any more, people get bored, any less you come off insincere.
Be funny! If he was in an accident while driving a forklift, and no one died, tell the story. If he slept walked into his parents room, and peed in a dresser drawer, tell the story. If girls at KFC like him, and used to give him free chicken, and now he calls his belly "Pure Charisma" tell the story. All of these have been used in my life, and they all brought the house down.
End the speech with sincere thoughts and feelings about him, and how you're life is better with him in it. Tell the crowd he has good in taste in friends and even better taste in the woman he has chosen to spend his life with (even if you can't stand her). Wish them Congratulations, and the very best in the future, and ask the crowd to join you in a toast to the groom.
CLINK
Around here, the speach to the groom is somewhat of a roast. Albeit a friendly roast. Do not mention ex girlfriends, sexual conquests or illegal activities. Everything else is fair game. The point is to embarass the groom, but keep everyone smiling.
Keep it relatively short. No one wants to sit there for fifteen minutes listening to the stories. Five to six minutes, is perfect. Any more, people get bored, any less you come off insincere.
Be funny! If he was in an accident while driving a forklift, and no one died, tell the story. If he slept walked into his parents room, and peed in a dresser drawer, tell the story. If girls at KFC like him, and used to give him free chicken, and now he calls his belly "Pure Charisma" tell the story. All of these have been used in my life, and they all brought the house down.
End the speech with sincere thoughts and feelings about him, and how you're life is better with him in it. Tell the crowd he has good in taste in friends and even better taste in the woman he has chosen to spend his life with (even if you can't stand her). Wish them Congratulations, and the very best in the future, and ask the crowd to join you in a toast to the groom.
CLINK
Note that most people aren't comedians. If you go for the roast, and you fall flat, it's not going to be pretty.
My personal thought on the speech (having gotten married just 6 months ago):
In most weddings, the focus is ever on the bride. This speech is the one time when the focus is on the groom. It is your job to make him look good. It is fine to use what sounds like an embarassing story if in the end it is more about the groom's good qualities. If he had an accident with the forklift, accent how he kept his cool, and lifted the machine off a small chiild with his bare hands.
After your speech, the audience shouldn't be snickering, they should be feeling proud that they're friends of the groom, and that the bride has gotten a good catch. If you can do that and roast him at the same time, go ahead.
My personal thought on the speech (having gotten married just 6 months ago):
In most weddings, the focus is ever on the bride. This speech is the one time when the focus is on the groom. It is your job to make him look good. It is fine to use what sounds like an embarassing story if in the end it is more about the groom's good qualities. If he had an accident with the forklift, accent how he kept his cool, and lifted the machine off a small chiild with his bare hands.
After your speech, the audience shouldn't be snickering, they should be feeling proud that they're friends of the groom, and that the bride has gotten a good catch. If you can do that and roast him at the same time, go ahead.
twofalls
DM Beadle
I wouldn't (and didn't) "roast" someone on their wedding day, or most any other day actually. I was the best man in my best friends wedding, and have been in several others. For Marco (my BF) I started writing a toast half a dozen times and finally just gave up and decided to say what came to mind at the time. I told everyone there that I loved him, and that he was the kindest, most gentle hearted fellow I know. I complimented the bride and ended it there. Marco was very emotional and appreicated the candor and sentiments.
nothing to see here
First Post
I'm a professioanal speechwriter...used to be anyway (I've branched out into other communications consultation).
Mind you, it's hard to give advice on such a personal speech without knowing the speaker. A good rule of thumb for this particular kind of speech is to put yourself in the shoes of the OTHER person in the wedding. (if you'r the groom's best friend, put yourself in the shoes of the bride)...and use that as a filter for what's appropriate. There is nothing more poignant than the family/friend of one half of the wedding -- speaking glowingly of the other half. I've made it reccomendation number one for most wedding speeches I've helped with.
Most of the previous advice is also good stuff. Either you're funny or you're not. Timing (as opposed to material) is the best exemplar of good humour. If your not funny, don't try to be, though there are some jokes (usually self-effacing ones) that actually possess enhanced delivery from a less than funny speaker.
Without knowing your context here's a corny opening that works ridiculously well
"Thank you XXX...it's an honour to be here. Though I am a little nervous. A friend of mine told me about the time he was giving scheduled to give a wedding speech of his own. He was sitting at the head table during dessert when the groom turned to him and asked...'are you going to get up and speak now, or should we let the guests enjoy themselves a little more first....blah blah blah
Give yourself an outline that you stick too. A good wedding speech is short and reads something like this.
1) joke
2) How beautiful the ceremony was
3) how great the reception is
4) A (possibly funny anecdote) about how you came to be asked give this speech / what an honour it is.
5) One or two funny or touching anecodtes about the bride/groom (whichever one you know).
6) Something from the heart about what the person means to you.
7) Something from from the heart about their new life-partner...and how important their happiness is.
8) A nice simple toast. along the lines of "our friends don't get too emotional with each other in public, but I hope X, allows me this now. You know who you're real friends are because they're the ones whose happiness, in and of itself, makes you happy. I've never seen XX happier than he/she is today...and it fills me with joy. You are both so special to all the people here today, and we look forward to being there with you as you build this new life together...blah blah blah.
...
Mind you, it's hard to give advice on such a personal speech without knowing the speaker. A good rule of thumb for this particular kind of speech is to put yourself in the shoes of the OTHER person in the wedding. (if you'r the groom's best friend, put yourself in the shoes of the bride)...and use that as a filter for what's appropriate. There is nothing more poignant than the family/friend of one half of the wedding -- speaking glowingly of the other half. I've made it reccomendation number one for most wedding speeches I've helped with.
Most of the previous advice is also good stuff. Either you're funny or you're not. Timing (as opposed to material) is the best exemplar of good humour. If your not funny, don't try to be, though there are some jokes (usually self-effacing ones) that actually possess enhanced delivery from a less than funny speaker.
Without knowing your context here's a corny opening that works ridiculously well
"Thank you XXX...it's an honour to be here. Though I am a little nervous. A friend of mine told me about the time he was giving scheduled to give a wedding speech of his own. He was sitting at the head table during dessert when the groom turned to him and asked...'are you going to get up and speak now, or should we let the guests enjoy themselves a little more first....blah blah blah
Give yourself an outline that you stick too. A good wedding speech is short and reads something like this.
1) joke
2) How beautiful the ceremony was
3) how great the reception is
4) A (possibly funny anecdote) about how you came to be asked give this speech / what an honour it is.
5) One or two funny or touching anecodtes about the bride/groom (whichever one you know).
6) Something from the heart about what the person means to you.
7) Something from from the heart about their new life-partner...and how important their happiness is.
8) A nice simple toast. along the lines of "our friends don't get too emotional with each other in public, but I hope X, allows me this now. You know who you're real friends are because they're the ones whose happiness, in and of itself, makes you happy. I've never seen XX happier than he/she is today...and it fills me with joy. You are both so special to all the people here today, and we look forward to being there with you as you build this new life together...blah blah blah.
...
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