Funny rundown of goofy D&D monsters

[Tewligan]

Just saw this, and thought it was pretty funny. The rest of the site is pretty entertaining too, although there is a bit of salty language scattered throughout.

http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm

 

[freyar]

Definitely funny! Thing is, I don't know if it would have been as funny if the author had actually played D&D.

 

[SPoD]

I have to disagree about the Topiary Guardians and Crawling Hands; I'm pretty sure they were created specifically so that people could recreate the scenes from The Shining or Evil Dead in their game. I mean, a flesh golem or a mummy isn't very original, either, but originality isn't the point. The point is allowing a DM to use something they saw in a horror book or movie.

So yeah, while most of those monsters are tragically stupid (though most of them have been mocked far more effectively over the years, such as by OOTS, 8-Bit Theater, and any of the comics in Dragon over the years), for a few, it's fairly obvious that the author doesn't understand why Monster Manuals exist in the first place: so that DMs who are tight on time can find stats on something they want to use from myth/fiction/whatever.

On the other hand, man, that horse with wings is so stupid! And besides, the Greeks did the "pegasus" thing, like, 2500 years ago! Unoriginal!

 

[Asmor]

You know, I always liked Owlbears. They're one of D&D's iconic monsters to me, right up there with Mindflayers and Beholders.

The only thing on the list I've actually used, I think, are the Skiurids.

 

[Roger]

Not bad at all, but personally I like Lore's version better.


Cheers,
Roger

 

[WD40]

I dont know about you guys, but I so want one of my PC's to walk into a small room furnished with a Lurker Above, a Trapper and some Stunjelly!

Prolly with a Mimic in the middle....

I know there was a trap-monster bridge once, called a 'Spanner', does anyone know if there is/was a Trap-monster door anywhere? That would really complete the picture!

 

[Exen Trik]

Oh. My. God.

Somebody MUST make a proper write up for the Bonnacon!

"The Bonnacon is a bull that fires explosive, burning poop from its rear end. According to Pliny, it could "release a trail of dung 3 furlongs in length".

 

[Richards]

Is it wrong of me to take intense personal pride that my duckbunny and armadillephant made the list?

Johnathan

 

[Chris_Nightwing]

You know, I always liked Owlbears. They're one of D&D's iconic monsters to me, right up there with Mindflayers and Beholders.

The only thing on the list I've actually used, I think, are the Skiurids.

I have to agree about the Owlbear, it truly is made of epic awesome and should never be lost from the game.

 

[Alzrius]

Oh. My. God.

Somebody MUST make a proper write up for the Bonnacon!

"The Bonnacon is a bull that fires explosive, burning poop from its rear end. According to Pliny, it could "release a trail of dung 3 furlongs in length".

There's a v.3.5 Bonacon in the Lethal Lexicon vol. 1, a compendium of ridiculous monsters from Octavirate Games.