D&D 5E First Session adventure outline - looking for feedback - Eberron Murder Mystery

[enbee75]

Hi folks,

Have written out an adventure set up as kind of a grim murder mystery and wanted to know what you all might think and how I could improve it. This'll be my first time going off-module so to speak, so want it to go well!

Background - 5 PCs just opened a detective agency in Sharn (in a cheap part of town) - their first job

Scene 1 - Human local resident describes killing in residential district last night - two bodies - one which has been split open vertically, and another who has been slashed/clawed to death. The community have had problems with the city watch so decided to find inquisitors up to the job using community money.

Scene 2 - Scene of the murder. Original NPC names them as brothers.

• Clue 1 - serated cuts on body
• Clue 2 - Putrid smell - filthy
• Clue 3 - One victim armed with sword, the other unarmed. One brother is holding a long brown whip-like material.

Scene 3 - talking to Witnesses/family of victims

• Clue 1 - Eyes of one of the brothers changed to black over a month ago, has recently been disappearing at night - smelling terrible
• Clue 2 - One morning, his sheets were found to be bloodied. He didn't speak a word and disappeared for 3 weeks, only recently returning.
• Clue 3 - The other brother was angry at him and decided to confront him - and set out armed with a sword.

Scene 4 - Encounter with Giant Cockroach at night (where ever PCs end up) with one antennae missing

Scene 5 - Tower trash disposal room at night (roaches have light sensitivity) - Encounter with 3 Roach Thralls - human figures which have Giant Cockroaches burst out of them when threatened and attack PCs.

Community rewards heroes with a bit of cash and some items!

I was wondering if maybe this is a bit simplistic, even though it's a first level adventure. Do you think it might need a bit more of a twist/extra encounter? I'm also a bit concerned with the clues not being picked up on and leading the PCs in the right direction - heading to the trash disposal might be a bit of a leap.

Maybe adding someone with a motive who's able to control these roaches?

Thanks for any advice!

 

[MarkB]

Even reading this, I'm still not sure exactly how the crime occurred, so yeah, your PCs may be somewhat at sea. Myself, by scene 3 I'd be thinking 'undead', not 'trash heap' - it would explain the putrid smell, and the brother's transformation could be seen as vampiric or something similar.

I might twig it from encounter 4, or I might assume that it was a flavourful random encounter.

 

[enbee75]

Sorry yeh, tried to base something around the Roach Thrall in the sharn campaign book, but a few kinks to work out it seems!

 

[Soul Stigma]

The clues can be modified a bit to hint at something outside of the undead. Not just a foul smell but more specific odors (think of whatever might be in the trash).

Also, rather than just eyes going black and then sheets bloodied, insert some strange behavior to do with digging through and consuming the refuse from shops in the area or something. Like...a random NPC swore he saw the guy digging through old, discarded vegetables or meat fat or whatever, and eating it like he was starving.

Hope I'm leading you in the right direction here.


Sent from my iPhone using EN World

 

[Quickleaf]

Hi folks,

Have written out an adventure set up as kind of a grim murder mystery and wanted to know what you all might think and how I could improve it. This'll be my first time going off-module so to speak, so want it to go well!

Woot for DMing! Woot for going off book! And double woot for going for a murder mystery!

They're a challenge to do in D&D, but they can be done.

I think you need to explain what a Roach Thrall is and is capable of also. I'm not that familiar with the monster, and I suspect others who could offer good advice aren't either.

Scene 1 - Human local resident describes killing in residential district last night - two bodies - one which has been split open vertically, and another who has been slashed/clawed to death. The community have had problems with the city watch so decided to find inquisitors up to the job using community money.

Scene 2 - Scene of the murder. Original NPC names them as brothers.

• Clue 1 - serated cuts on body
• Clue 2 - Putrid smell - filthy this smell should more heavily come from the former Roach Thrall brother's corpse, right?
• Clue 3 - One victim armed with sword, the other unarmed. One brother is holding a long brown whip-like material.

My first suggestion is making a clue/puzzle matrix. These sorts of murder mysteries are typically solved with, for example, a list of suspects on the y-axis and a list of clues on the x-axis. Some of the clues apply to each suspect, but only *one* suspect matches ALL of the clues. That sort of thing.

So you have a conclusion in mind: A Roach Thrall did it.

That's OK, but unless your players are hardcore into Eberron lore, that alone probably isn't enough to capture their sense of wonder. Imagine "A Roach Thrall did it" as the big reveal to a Scooby-Doo episode or a murder mystery novel. Kinda weak, right? But you can improve it by adding something to the end

For example...

"A Roach Thrall did it... but he was just one of many, and the Roach Thralls will strike again!"

I *think* that's actually your intention. Which is pretty cool actually.

Scene 3 - talking to Witnesses/family of victims

• Clue 1 - Eyes of one of the brothers changed to black over a month ago, has recently been disappearing at night - smelling terrible
• Clue 2 - One morning, his sheets were found to be bloodied. He didn't speak a word and disappeared for 3 weeks, only recently returning.
• Clue 3 - The other brother was angry at him and decided to confront him - and set out armed with a sword.

You've got a dead giveaway here that one of the brothers was "infected" with something and that he killed his brother. Not too much mystery there, very straightforward.

The mystery, IMO, comes into play asking "But why is the infected brother dead and split down the middle?"

In my games, I often let PCs trained in Medicine use it forensically, and I wouldn't be surprised (especially in a pulpy steampunky Eberron game) if a player asks to determine cause of death. And if you say "He was torn apart from inside out", that's a pretty big glaring clue! It doesn't take a great leap of logic for the player to conclude: He got infected with a parasite, killed his brother in a fit, and then the infecting parasite killed him.

Scene 4 - Encounter with Giant Cockroach at night (where ever PCs end up) with one antennae missing

Why is the missing antennae relevant? Does it correspond to a missing ear from the corpse of one of the brothers?

I was wondering if maybe this is a bit simplistic, even though it's a first level adventure. Do you think it might need a bit more of a twist/extra encounter? I'm also a bit concerned with the clues not being picked up on and leading the PCs in the right direction - heading to the trash disposal might be a bit of a leap.

Yes, I think it needs a twist. Not an extra encounter, necessarily, as "best laid plans rarely survive contact with the players." But definitely more of a twist.

When it comes to giving out clues, there's 3 things you want to know as DM:

Gumshoe Rule. When you have a clue the players NEED to have access to in order to solve the mystery, DO NOT make getting that clue reliant on a skill check. Instead, when the players say "I search for his journal", just say "ok, you find the journal, and here's what is inside." Save skill checks for secondary clues or additional information above and beyond what is NEEDED. Very important.

The Three Clue Rule. If you have a clue you want your players to get, provide 3 vectors through which they can learn that clue. For example "Eyes of one of the brothers changed to black over a month ago." One source of that clue is talking to witnesses, but what if players miss the witness or get bored or distracted? It happens. A lot. Second source of that clue might be a PC trained in Medicine or forensic magic realizing there's a black film like a cataract over the eyes, suggesting they were once black and are now reverting to normal. Cool. But what if the players miss that one too because they're having an off night or they can't stop making jokes or they completely misinterpret it in a way you weren't expecting? No worries. You pull out your third vector for that clue: Third source is a smith who the brother bought a sword from, and reports his eyes were jet black, only sold the sword to him out of fear. If they miss the 1st vector, misinterpret the 2nd vector, then eventually they'll get the 3rd vector.

Art of Writing Clues. You only get this one with practice, but the basic principle is that you want lots of small clues that don't give away the Big Reveal until they're assembled together and analyzed. One way to get organized around writing clues is to remember the catchphrase "motives, method, opportunity" and apply that to your adventure.

 

[Redthistle]

[MENTION=20323]Quickleaf[/MENTION] - this is a wonderful little tutorial for designing RPG mysteries.

Grazie, Aaron!

 

[iserith]

This thread has [MENTION=6776133]Bawylie[/MENTION] written all over it.

And now he is summoned.

 

[Bawylie]

Hi folks,

Have written out an adventure set up as kind of a grim murder mystery and wanted to know what you all might think and how I could improve it. This'll be my first time going off-module so to speak, so want it to go well!

Background - 5 PCs just opened a detective agency in Sharn (in a cheap part of town) - their first job

Scene 1 - Human local resident describes killing in residential district last night - two bodies - one which has been split open vertically, and another who has been slashed/clawed to death. The community have had problems with the city watch so decided to find inquisitors up to the job using community money.

Scene 2 - Scene of the murder. Original NPC names them as brothers.

• Clue 1 - serated cuts on body
• Clue 2 - Putrid smell - filthy
• Clue 3 - One victim armed with sword, the other unarmed. One brother is holding a long brown whip-like material.

Scene 3 - talking to Witnesses/family of victims

• Clue 1 - Eyes of one of the brothers changed to black over a month ago, has recently been disappearing at night - smelling terrible
• Clue 2 - One morning, his sheets were found to be bloodied. He didn't speak a word and disappeared for 3 weeks, only recently returning.
• Clue 3 - The other brother was angry at him and decided to confront him - and set out armed with a sword.

Scene 4 - Encounter with Giant Cockroach at night (where ever PCs end up) with one antennae missing

Scene 5 - Tower trash disposal room at night (roaches have light sensitivity) - Encounter with 3 Roach Thralls - human figures which have Giant Cockroaches burst out of them when threatened and attack PCs.

Community rewards heroes with a bit of cash and some items!

I was wondering if maybe this is a bit simplistic, even though it's a first level adventure. Do you think it might need a bit more of a twist/extra encounter? I'm also a bit concerned with the clues not being picked up on and leading the PCs in the right direction - heading to the trash disposal might be a bit of a leap.

Maybe adding someone with a motive who's able to control these roaches?

Thanks for any advice!

Hi!

Some questions:
1.) What are the PCs hired to do, exactly?
2.) Clues are evidence of facts or leads to facts. What facts do your clues point to?
3.) What happens if your players fail to do whatever they've been hired to do? Will additional evidence surface? More murders?

You should already know the answers to the Big 6 questions. Who, what, where, when, why, & how.

Some of these answers must be given to the players so that the can answer the others. For example if they know who was murdered, where, and when, that provides several leads that can suggest solutions for What Why & How.

For any answer you're NOT giving the players, you have to leave a clue that either provides an answer, a part of an answer, or a lead to an answer. For instance, if Who is part of the mystery, witnesses or bystanders could say what family they were from or what neighborhood they lived in. That's a good lead. The injuries on the bodies indicate the How answer.

And here's the thing. The clues and evidence aren't hidden. So the players shouldn't miss them. If Who is part of the job, then questioning witnesses or bystanders should be sufficient to get that clue. Bystanders should want to come forward with this info.

If you think about this like a dungeon, a clue that leads somewhere is basically like a hallway that heads west (or wherever). You don't need 3 different indications that the hallway goes westward - you just need to identify the hall to the players as an option and let them decide to go down that hall or not. So you never, ever, need more that 1 Clue per lead or per fact.

The problem you might have is if your clues are insufficiently descriptive. "A putrid stench of decay" could suggest undead as easily as trash, but something like, "the sickly sweet smell of hot garbage," is a description that doesn't suggest undead. Combine that stench with buzzing flies, and that's a stronger lead toward trash vs graveyard.

Anyway try to think of it like a dungeon. Every scene is a room. Every clue is a door to some other room or some treasure that helps complete the dungeon. One or two secret doors are fine, and that's good reward for thorough investigations. Some fights are fine. So are some dead ends. The trick to twists and complications is that they can't outnumber the actually useful stuff. Too many twists, secrets, or dead ends, and players won't know how to navigate. The dungeon is done when the players either do the job they were hired to do, or give up/fail to complete the job.

Good luck! It sounds like a fun mystery!


-Brad

 

[enbee75]

Thanks for all the incredibly helpful advice! I'm half considering throwing this away and going with a pre-written module (anyone know if there are any good murder mysteries for 1st level I could adapt?), but shall perservere for now!

Answering a couple other questions...

I think you need to explain what a Roach Thrall is and is capable of also. I'm not that familiar with the monster, and I suspect others who could offer good advice aren't either.

This thing grossed me out, so I decided I wanted to use it. It basically reproduces by using human bodies. A Roach implants it's eggs into a human. When the egg hatches, the baby roach consumes the internal organs of its host which takes 6-8 hours (overnight). It takes control and attaches its own feeding mechanisms to stop the host's body decaying. After a few weeks it learns to understand and speak common - though it has no memories of its host. It tries to blend in to human society as best it can. It then starts to grow its own eggs to infect another which takes 6 months to 2 years. Once it leaves its host human body, it cannot return to one and just spends the rest of its life protecting other thralls and eating garbage.

I was basically thinking Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and imagined the PCs uncovering a bigger problem than anyone in the community knew they had, as these host humans screech after realising the PCs are onto them, point, screech as other giant roaches scuttle towards them.

What are the PCs hired to do, exactly?

The motive of the NPC who is hiring the investigators (PCs) could be a personal relationship to someone killed. It could be that the leader of the community has refused any investigations (due to him in fact, being a roach thrall). The PCs job is to discover the truth of these deaths (maybe it's better there has been a few, with similar crime scenes (as roaches have torn out of them)

Clues are evidence of facts or leads to facts. What facts do your clues point to?

The facts that a community (maybe I need to change the setting - it could instead be the staff in a hospital ward - something a little more enclosed and creepy) is acting very strangly - they've been taken over by these roaches and people are scared to confront them. A leader/someone in power is impeding or stopping any pursuit of the truth

What happens if your players fail to do whatever they've been hired to do? Will additional evidence surface? More murders?

Hadn't really considered this - I assume the problem will spread. Maybe an NPC the characters had met when investigating then ends up in a PC's bedroom at night, and attempts to lay its own eggs...

In this scenario - the big bad could be the leader of the community. I think the Roach Thralls are generally reluctant to leave their hosts as they can never return, so it would make sense that he try to stay under wraps.

I'm thinking it might be better to scrap the whole brother thing, and just have the PCs identify the victim and dig around for clues at the crime scene and with the family of the victim who reiterate some of the clues mentioned earlier (although with some of the modifications as has been suggested).

I'll just need to now figure how the PCs can be led to figuring out that a lot of these people are infected - even right to the top.

Could the twist be that the whole lot of them are roaches, and just brought in the heroes for 'fresh meat' as it were?! - (this may not be that logical!)

Also a bunch of these things against a level 1 adventuring party could really hurt them unless I dwarf their stats a bit (they're CR2 in the 3.5e Sharn campaign book)

Thanks for all your help!

 

[Harzel]

The infected brother's name should be Gregor.