Favorite Gnome and/or wizard quotations

[Clear Dragon]

I am playing a gnome transmuter currently and am looking for some good catchphrases, insults and such to use. Gnomes are a reclusive race and the masters in the arcane arts in my DM's homebrewed world. Anecdotes are appreciated too!

So far I have a few quotations from one of my physics professors that are adaptable from electodynamics to magic. Especially since wizards tend to be scholars, alchemists and such

"That's a nice piece of magic" - Said as a lot of terms dropped out of an integral.

"No one can stop me from making Gaussian surfaces. No one can stop me from doing anything."

"General Relativity is pretty much a closed subject, you should pick up a book on it and learn it over the summer."

" You have to massage the equation."

 

[Zappo]

If I heard a physics professor stating "Noone can stop me!", I would be very, very scared.

 

[alsih2o]

hope some of these might help-

had a friend who was an icthiologist..he would put little critters ina microscope that projected its view area up for all to see and then say "what we have here is a vsvco" and when asked would explain that a vsvco was a "wery small, very confused organism"..

we had an in-party gnome who explain his party's antics to other gnomes with the phrase "well, they are stackers.." refering to people who build, rather than burrow..

i also knew a midget who was rather surly (real life here) who would ask folks "is the air to thin up there to think straight?"..

hope these might help!

 

[alsih2o]

oh! and i knew a mathemetician who would, upon doing something very well or very badly, say "all without dirtying my hands!"

 

[gamecat]

Good quotes from Westenberger the Jovial include:

Aww! Beshaba likes me far too much!

OWW, DAMMIT!

DAMMIT RHEO!

I find your would-be magic slightly distasteful, Squiddypoo! (Before being mind-blasted by an Illithid)

Sometimes, I wonder how I ever learned magic...

Evocation. I like fireworks, you like fireworks.

Necromancy. Bad never felt so good.

DAMMIT RHEO!

 

[AdamBank]

"Read a book, people!" (Handy)

"Nothing is impossible for a genius such as I." (some random anime character)

"SHUT UP! You smell that?" (Very appropriate for a D&D3e gnome, IMO)

"Now this really pisses me off to no end." (Lo Pan)

"We live in a mediochre world." (Physics professor at Vassar who coined the term "mesoscopic reality.")

"I am a wizard rich in eldritch lore!!!" (Said by my halfing PC in RuneQuest who could never convince people he was a serious wizard).

 

[Jondor_Battlehammer]

Funny, I have a Gnome Wizard...

Lets see, the rest of the party is made up of a Barbarian/Sorcerer/Dragon Desciple that ends his name in "Khan", and uses sentances like "WHEN I take over the world"...

The quintesetial greedy, caniving, backstabing rouge who has stolen from the party slain other party members for real life problems...

And a whishy-whashy cleric who won't even try to talk sense to them anymore...

Sometimes, words don't apply. Just cringe, gulp, whine, hold your head in your hands. It's very easy if your charachters life really is in jepardy just being with these people, even in safe places.

For actual quotes,

Oops...

Bring that to me , without touching it.

Do you know what the odds of surviving "..." are !?!

I told you.

You'll do as I say, or no more Bull's Strength for you, mister.

You (gulp), pulled THAT lever?

DON"T TOUCH THAT! (Even if its not dangerous.)

Do that again, and I'll turn you into a material component.

I back away from them, and THEN cast teleport.

Has anyone seen my live daggertooth spider? He was just in my component pouch a second ago.

By the time you realize it, itwill be too late, and all (of you) shall bow before me... err, did I say that out loud?

That, and just trail off in mid sentance alot, that really gets to them.

 

[bloodymage]

Funny, I have a Gnome Wizard...

For actual quotes,

Oops...

Perfect catchphrase for a gnome wizard!

IMC, there's a gnome illusionist I get an absolute kick out of but all the players hate. His favorite phrase, used ad naseaum, is:

"Wanna see a magic trick?"