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5E: Converting Monsters from White Dwarf Magazine for Fifth Edition
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<blockquote data-quote="Cleon" data-source="post: 8768911" data-attributes="member: 57383"><p>Comparing the Enworld <strong><a href="https://enworld.org/index.php?posts/8463694" target="_blank">Pine Kindred Resin-Thrall</a></strong> to the D&D Beyond <a href="https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/2126803-pine-kindred-resin-thrall" target="_blank">Resin-Thrall</a>.</p><p></p><p>The usual "<strong>Armor Class</strong> 13 (natural armor)" error.</p><p></p><p>It's missing bludgeoning vulnerability, should be "<strong>Damage Vulnerabilities</strong> <span style="color: red">bludgeoning</span>, fire, slashing".</p><p></p><p>Noticed a "to slowly seeping" grammatical error in <strong><em>Evolution of the Lost</em></strong>, and have corrected that phrase to "it may begin to slowly <span style="color: red">seep</span> into the buried bodies of the surviving resin-thralls".</p><p></p><p>That whole first paragraph of <strong><em>Evolution</em></strong> looks overly long and a bit clumsily worded. Perhaps I should polish it up a bit?</p><p></p><p>Which do you think is better, this:</p><p></p><p style="margin-left: 20px"> <strong><em>Evolution of the Lost [Original].</em></strong> If all the true pine kindred and fircarls in a tribe are destroyed, any resin-thralls that remain will either witlessly continue any tasks they were assigned to or sleep under the ground. Most will eventually fall apart from their labors, rot away to the elements, or be destroyed by some accident or enemy. As the remains of the pine kindred decompose, the necrotic energies in their bodies leeches into the soil, poisoning nearby plants. This pollution pools in unhallowed places such as an <em>Unholy Grove</em>, mixing with any other necromantic residues in the area. If nothing directs these malign forces, such as another pine kindred tribe or a hag coven performing rituals nearby, it may begin to slowly <span style="color: red">seep</span> into the buried bodies of the surviving resin-thralls. Normally this just preserves the resin-thralls, staving off decay for many years or even decades before they perish, but in particularly favorable circumstances a resin-thrall can metabolize these energies into <em>Gift of Nidhogg</em>. After years of enough exposure the thrall may accumulate enough <em>Gift</em> to evolve into a fircarl, rising from the soil as a fully sapient pine kindred. The newborn fircarl instinctively starts on the long path of seeking more <em>Gift of Nidhogg</em> to become a full-blooded pine kindred and studying the <em>Dark Druidic Mysteries</em>, with the ultimate aim of becoming a Jarl and founding a new tribe.</p><p></p><p>or this:</p><p></p><p style="margin-left: 20px"> <strong><em>Evolution of the Lost [Polished].</em></strong> If all the true pine kindred and fircarls in a tribe are destroyed, any resin-thralls that survive will either continue whatever task they were assigned or sleep under the ground until they are destroyed by decay, accident or an enemy. When pine kindred decompose, their necrotic energies leech into the soil, poisoning nearby plants and pooling in unhallowed places such as an <em>Unholy Grove</em>. If nothing directs these malign forces, such as a hag coven or other pine kindred performing rituals, it may slowly seep into any resin-thralls buried nearby. Normally this just staves off decay for a few more decades before the thrall perishes, but in particularly favorable conditions a resin-thrall can metabolize accumulated necrotic energy into <em>Gift of Nidhogg</em> and transform into a fircarl. Rising from the soil, the newborn fircarl seeks more <em>Gift</em> in order to evolve into a full-blooded pine kindred and study the <em>Dark Druidic Mysteries</em>, with the ultimate aim of becoming a Jarl and founding a new tribe.</p><p></p><p>The shorter version has pretty much the same information and I think it'd worded better. Shall I swap it in to the Enworld <strong><a href="https://enworld.org/index.php?posts/8463694" target="_blank">Resin-Thrall</a></strong>?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cleon, post: 8768911, member: 57383"] Comparing the Enworld [B][URL='https://enworld.org/index.php?posts/8463694']Pine Kindred Resin-Thrall[/URL][/B] to the D&D Beyond [URL='https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/2126803-pine-kindred-resin-thrall']Resin-Thrall[/URL]. The usual "[B]Armor Class[/B] 13 (natural armor)" error. It's missing bludgeoning vulnerability, should be "[B]Damage Vulnerabilities[/B] [COLOR=red]bludgeoning[/COLOR], fire, slashing". Noticed a "to slowly seeping" grammatical error in [B][I]Evolution of the Lost[/I][/B], and have corrected that phrase to "it may begin to slowly [COLOR=red]seep[/COLOR] into the buried bodies of the surviving resin-thralls". That whole first paragraph of [B][I]Evolution[/I][/B] looks overly long and a bit clumsily worded. Perhaps I should polish it up a bit? Which do you think is better, this: [INDENT] [B][I]Evolution of the Lost [Original].[/I][/B] If all the true pine kindred and fircarls in a tribe are destroyed, any resin-thralls that remain will either witlessly continue any tasks they were assigned to or sleep under the ground. Most will eventually fall apart from their labors, rot away to the elements, or be destroyed by some accident or enemy. As the remains of the pine kindred decompose, the necrotic energies in their bodies leeches into the soil, poisoning nearby plants. This pollution pools in unhallowed places such as an [I]Unholy Grove[/I], mixing with any other necromantic residues in the area. If nothing directs these malign forces, such as another pine kindred tribe or a hag coven performing rituals nearby, it may begin to slowly [COLOR=red]seep[/COLOR] into the buried bodies of the surviving resin-thralls. Normally this just preserves the resin-thralls, staving off decay for many years or even decades before they perish, but in particularly favorable circumstances a resin-thrall can metabolize these energies into [I]Gift of Nidhogg[/I]. After years of enough exposure the thrall may accumulate enough [I]Gift[/I] to evolve into a fircarl, rising from the soil as a fully sapient pine kindred. The newborn fircarl instinctively starts on the long path of seeking more [I]Gift of Nidhogg[/I] to become a full-blooded pine kindred and studying the [I]Dark Druidic Mysteries[/I], with the ultimate aim of becoming a Jarl and founding a new tribe.[/INDENT] or this: [INDENT] [B][I]Evolution of the Lost [Polished].[/I][/B] If all the true pine kindred and fircarls in a tribe are destroyed, any resin-thralls that survive will either continue whatever task they were assigned or sleep under the ground until they are destroyed by decay, accident or an enemy. When pine kindred decompose, their necrotic energies leech into the soil, poisoning nearby plants and pooling in unhallowed places such as an [I]Unholy Grove[/I]. If nothing directs these malign forces, such as a hag coven or other pine kindred performing rituals, it may slowly seep into any resin-thralls buried nearby. Normally this just staves off decay for a few more decades before the thrall perishes, but in particularly favorable conditions a resin-thrall can metabolize accumulated necrotic energy into [I]Gift of Nidhogg[/I] and transform into a fircarl. Rising from the soil, the newborn fircarl seeks more [I]Gift[/I] in order to evolve into a full-blooded pine kindred and study the [I]Dark Druidic Mysteries[/I], with the ultimate aim of becoming a Jarl and founding a new tribe.[/INDENT] The shorter version has pretty much the same information and I think it'd worded better. Shall I swap it in to the Enworld [B][URL='https://enworld.org/index.php?posts/8463694']Resin-Thrall[/URL][/B]? [/QUOTE]
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