A Tale from Volidar
Gather round my friends, if you care to hear the tale of what is likely to have been Edwyd Edwyd''s Penultimate Pie Parade...
In this true story, the Parade takes place on a gray, drizzly day. Our heroic brigade is staffed by Arthur, a man of nimble fingers, the dwarf Kalli Deepwarden, Kaleva, cleric of Chennet', and Petra of Arkanian, ex-Vastermarch 'Templar'. After a brief definition of terms in a Red Dragon Inn sideroom, Edwyd goes to his shop to prepare for the predicted onslaught of afternoon customers.
Kaleva comes up with the idea of hiring a cab to protect the pie from the elements, and also makes sure every brigadier has a quarterstaff, to better stave off pie-grabbers without bloodshed. Petra calls a cab while Arthur and the rest head off to purchase a bird cage with a cover to transport the pie from the shop to the cab. Only crusty old cages are available for sale, so that idea is abandoned and everybody meets Petra back at the shop.
While Petra and the others manage to resist the smell of the pie, some kind of madness overcomes Arthur, and he makes a lunge for the kitchen, where the pie is being kept. After a brief scuffle and a light thwack from Kalli's quarterstaff, Arthur snaps out of it.
Edwyd emerges from the kitchen with the nigh divine apple pie, Kalli takes it in hand, and Kaleva and the others drape a cloak over it to bring it to the cab. A small crowd of about ten patrons from the shop gathers near the cab, and the parade begins.
The parade moves out of the Red Dragon Plaza and down Merchant's avenue, attracting a couple dozen followers, not to mention some excited dogs. The wary brigadiers take notice of the drooling canines and prepare to defend the pie. When two particularly hungry dogs make a dash for the crispy, golden prize, Kaleva crushes one's skull with his staff, while Kalli brutalizes the other with his flail, breaking its ribs, all thoughts of avoiding bloodshed apparently forgotten. The once happy crowd of parade-goers dissolves with shrieks and cries into the merchant stalls and alleys off the Avenue.
Kaleva stabilizes the dogs and attempts to calm the scene with assurances that the dogs will be healed later. He hires a bystander to wheel the injured mutts to the Red Dragon Inn for two silver, and the much diminished parade continues.
It's not long before a large man claiming to be Edwyd chases the cab down, scolds the brigadiers for making a scene, and demands the pie. The false Edwyd drops his disguise and collapses in tears after being revealed by Arthur's clever bluff and threatened with lethal violence. In the midst of his blubbering, he suddenly produces "the pie" out of thin air and takes off running. Kaleva, Kalli, and Petra follow in pursuit before Arthur can tell them that the impostor Edwyd is carrying an impostor pie. The brigade of four has become one.
Arthur is fortunately joined by Karl, an adventurer, and his ass, Itchy. Karl and Itchy easily resist the pull of the pie, and Karl offers to help escort the pie to Edwyd's wife.
Due to the rain still drizzling down, and also thanks to the dog fiasco, the parade has zero followers when Karl and Arthur find the road blocked by a half-giant. A cunning plan is hatched, and Arthur sneaks away from the cab with the pie while Karl advances to confront the large fellow. When the half-giant sees the cab retreating, he wallops Karl upside the head with a mercy-bound club, dizzying the newest brigadier but not dropping him. The half-giant immediately snaps out of his pie craze and apologizes, deeply shamed.
Finally, the cab reaches Edwyd's house, pie intact. Edwyd's wife, surprised by the small parade, nonetheless accepts the pie from Arthur with a smile. Arthur pays the cab three silver, for which the driver is very grateful, and the man-donkey-man trio returns to Edwyd's Victuals for payment.
There they find the shop almost empty except for Edwyd and Vernon, who are engaged in a shouting match regarding the scene with the dogs on Merchant's Avenue. Arthur and Karl do their best to explain what happened, and Edwyd begrudgingly hands over ten platinum dragons, which he entrusts to Arthur to distribute as he sees fit. He and Vernon leave his shop to talk with Watch Captain Frandeth, and Edwyd mentions that Karl and Arthur might be wanted for questioning later.
Material Rewards
10 platinum dragons, handed by Edwyd to Arthur
Realtime XP (50 XP per level per month)
Thread's first post:
2011-11-20
Thread's last post: 2012-08-29 (this post)
Total months: 9.5 realtime months (9 DM credits to Rae)
Arthur: 475 XP (whole adventure! -> 9.5 months)
Kaleva: 275 XP (last post
2012-05-08 -> 5.5 months)
Kalli: 275 XP (last post
2012-05-04 -> 5.5 months)
Karl: 125 XP (first post
2012-06-12 -> 2.5 months)
Petra: 50 XP (last post
2011-12-21 -> 1 month)
Parade Planning
Arthur: 50 XP
Kaleva: 50 XP
Kalli: 50 XP
Petra: 50 XP
Scuffle with Arthur (CR 2)
Arthur: 150 XP
Kaleva: 150 XP
Kalli: 150 XP
Petra: 150 XP
Canine Bloodbath (CR 1.67)
Arthur: 125 XP
Kaleva: 125 XP
Kalli: 125 XP
Petra: 125 XP
Edwyd Imposter
Arthur: 150 XP
Kaleva: 150 XP
Kalli: 150 XP
Petra: 150 XP
Half-giant Hindrance (CR 3)
Arthur: 450 XP
Karl: 450 XP
Denouement
Arthur: 100 XP
Karl: 100 XP
Grand Totals
Arthur: 1500 XP
Kaleva: 750 XP
Kalli: 750 XP
Karl: 675 XP
Petra: 525 XP