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What table rules do you have? The Social Contract
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<blockquote data-quote="MNblockhead" data-source="post: 9232088" data-attributes="member: 6796661"><p>This thread has me thinking about the common no-jerks rule and similar variations (Weaton's law - "don't be a dick", "don't be a douche", etc.)</p><p></p><p>I always found that a weird rule to include in any written expectations. Even in contexts where written expectations are the norm or are required, such as on player-matching and paid-DM platform, I see variations of this rule. But I find it unhelpful. Almost nobody sets out to be a jerk and those few who do are not unlikely to pay attention to such a rule. Nearly all the other social expectations are just setting guidelines for what would make you the jerk among this group of players.</p><p></p><p>I run one game with the same group of players I've played with for years. So there isn't much point in writing down social expectations when I start a new campaign. About the only thing I'll bother putting in writing would be rules alternatives or home brew that I'll use. Because that is something that we may all need to reference from time to time. Even campaign setting and style of play is just something we discuss and agree upon before we start a new campaign and not something I write out anymore (though I used to when I used to put out calls for players).</p><p></p><p>The only time setting social expectations come up is when we have someone drop in as a guest player. This is always someone that is a friend or family member of another player. I've never felt the need to send this guest player any written expectations or social contract. There is only one thing that I make sure a guest player knows and something my players know about me that they make sure that they inform someone they invite to a game knows.</p><p></p><p>"No discussion of real world politics."</p><p></p><p>The reason go out of my way to make this clear is not because someone who makes political comments is a jerk. But rather because not letting people know is just creating an unfair pitfall to someone who hasn't played in my games before. I think that the best use of written expectations is to serve as a kindness to new players joining your game so they avoid breaking some rule of etiquette they might not be aware of. It isn't fair to make someone feel awkward or put on the defensive for engaging in something that may be totally acceptable and common in their social circles.</p><p></p><p>My no politics rule arose because of two very long-time friends who have very strong and opposing political views. They've been friends for decades. They can have fierce arguments with each other and remain friends. They've done so for years. But it makes other players uncomfortable and it can eat up big chunks of game time. Further, I work in a highly political environment and my monthly game is a good 8-hours when I can just hang out with friends and put politics aside. It is one reason I really cherish my monthly game. So, people who violate this rule are not invited to future games.</p><p></p><p>I would not expect a new player to know any of this and it seems only fair to point it out. I really can't think of too many other rules that I need to highlight given the context in which I run my game.</p><p></p><p>Maybe it would be worth pointing out that we are pretty lax with profanity and off-color humor. The games can get pretty graphic when it comes to violence, body horror, etc. Romance/sex might come up but I run it fade-to-black and am not interested in acting that stuff out or narrating it in much detail. But I've not had to put this in writing or specially point it out verbally for many years now due to how new or guest players come to my game. So, with my current game, really, the only one social-contract rule is "don't discuss real-world politics." It is the only thing I can think of that I really need to clearly point out and emphasize.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MNblockhead, post: 9232088, member: 6796661"] This thread has me thinking about the common no-jerks rule and similar variations (Weaton's law - "don't be a dick", "don't be a douche", etc.) I always found that a weird rule to include in any written expectations. Even in contexts where written expectations are the norm or are required, such as on player-matching and paid-DM platform, I see variations of this rule. But I find it unhelpful. Almost nobody sets out to be a jerk and those few who do are not unlikely to pay attention to such a rule. Nearly all the other social expectations are just setting guidelines for what would make you the jerk among this group of players. I run one game with the same group of players I've played with for years. So there isn't much point in writing down social expectations when I start a new campaign. About the only thing I'll bother putting in writing would be rules alternatives or home brew that I'll use. Because that is something that we may all need to reference from time to time. Even campaign setting and style of play is just something we discuss and agree upon before we start a new campaign and not something I write out anymore (though I used to when I used to put out calls for players). The only time setting social expectations come up is when we have someone drop in as a guest player. This is always someone that is a friend or family member of another player. I've never felt the need to send this guest player any written expectations or social contract. There is only one thing that I make sure a guest player knows and something my players know about me that they make sure that they inform someone they invite to a game knows. "No discussion of real world politics." The reason go out of my way to make this clear is not because someone who makes political comments is a jerk. But rather because not letting people know is just creating an unfair pitfall to someone who hasn't played in my games before. I think that the best use of written expectations is to serve as a kindness to new players joining your game so they avoid breaking some rule of etiquette they might not be aware of. It isn't fair to make someone feel awkward or put on the defensive for engaging in something that may be totally acceptable and common in their social circles. My no politics rule arose because of two very long-time friends who have very strong and opposing political views. They've been friends for decades. They can have fierce arguments with each other and remain friends. They've done so for years. But it makes other players uncomfortable and it can eat up big chunks of game time. Further, I work in a highly political environment and my monthly game is a good 8-hours when I can just hang out with friends and put politics aside. It is one reason I really cherish my monthly game. So, people who violate this rule are not invited to future games. I would not expect a new player to know any of this and it seems only fair to point it out. I really can't think of too many other rules that I need to highlight given the context in which I run my game. Maybe it would be worth pointing out that we are pretty lax with profanity and off-color humor. The games can get pretty graphic when it comes to violence, body horror, etc. Romance/sex might come up but I run it fade-to-black and am not interested in acting that stuff out or narrating it in much detail. But I've not had to put this in writing or specially point it out verbally for many years now due to how new or guest players come to my game. So, with my current game, really, the only one social-contract rule is "don't discuss real-world politics." It is the only thing I can think of that I really need to clearly point out and emphasize. [/QUOTE]
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