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<blockquote data-quote="Deuce Traveler" data-source="post: 8763866" data-attributes="member: 34958"><p>Judgement of Round 2, Match 1: J.Quondam's "Trouble on Greenhill" vs. FitztheRuke's "The Vampries of Dolgan’s Hollow"</p><p></p><p>Judged by Deuce Traveler</p><p></p><p>J.Quondam's (JQ) entry deals with a town with various factions struggling against one another, While FitztheRuke's (FR) entry sticks the party in between some monsters and their hunters.</p><p></p><p>I am going to grade each entry on whether or not they made the time and word count limit, each entry's readability, use of each ingredient, and finally the potential for a potential Dungeon Master. Each section has a possibility of 2 points to be awarded.</p><p></p><p>[spoiler]</p><p>Accordance to the Rules</p><p></p><p>Both entries were posted within the allotted amount of time and under the word count limit. Good job!</p><p></p><p>JQ- 2 points</p><p>FR- 2 points</p><p></p><p>Grammar and Readability</p><p></p><p>I had to read through "Trouble on Greenhill" a couple times, as opposed to "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow", but that is more of a quibble. They both had correct grammar and were readable. Full points here for both.</p><p></p><p>JQ- 4 points</p><p>FR- 4 points</p><p></p><p>First Ingredient: Respected Beggar</p><p>In "Trouble on Greenhill", the respected beggar is actually a wight with a long-ranged plan. He hangs out with the poor and helps them out in return for favors. He is integral to the entry. Good job! 2 points for this ingredient. </p><p></p><p>In "The Vampires of Dolan's Hollow", the respected beggar isn't really a beggar anymore. He was a drunken beggar in the backstory, but is now a respected mayor. I can only give 1 point here.</p><p></p><p>JQ- 6 points</p><p>FR- 5 points</p><p></p><p>Second Ingredient: Undead Settlement</p><p></p><p>In "Trouble on Greenhill", there is an area of undead creatures that behave as if they are a living community. In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow", the vampires have come up with an agreement (a settlement) with the local town. Both are an acceptable use of the ingredient and I award 2 points for each entry.</p><p></p><p>JQ- 8 points</p><p>FR- 7 points</p><p></p><p></p><p>Third Ingredient: Wide Depression</p><p></p><p>In "Trouble on Greenhill", the undead are protected by an ancient, dry moat filled with sharp briars. I do have an issue where this isn't all that important to the adventure except as an obstacle. But I ran into the same problem in "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow" where the ingredient is a wide lake at the lowest part of valley, where there is some monster hunting to do. In the end, both use the ingredient correctly but I am only awarding one point to each because the ingredient just doesn't seem to be that critical in either entry.</p><p></p><p>JQ- 9 points</p><p>FR- 8 points</p><p></p><p>Fourth Ingredient: Recalcitrant Infant</p><p></p><p>In "Trouble on Greenhill", the recalcitrant infant is a wyrmling dragon who acts as a protector of local hills. Recalcitrant means 'having an obstinate uncooperative attitude towards authority or discipline". The dragon is easy to anger, but I don't see why it would need to view humans as authorities or disciplinarians. Another definition is someone who is uncooperative, but then why in the next sentence is the dragon called a benevolent protector? Further, it's really stretching the ingredient for this to be considered an infant since it can fight and negotiate. I'll split the difference and give this use 1 point.</p><p></p><p>In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow", there is an infant transformed into a monster that the heroes need to rescue, but because it is probably scared it may lash out or flee, making their task that much harder. I'll give full points here.</p><p></p><p>JQ- 10 points</p><p>FR- 10 points</p><p></p><p>Fifth Ingredient: Garden-fresh Greens</p><p></p><p>In "Trouble on Greenhill", the garden-fresh greens are what the undead workers labor upon to appear as if they are still normal field hands. In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hill", they are the produce from a farm dealing with a tragedy. Neither ingredient is hugely important, but they work to tie in monsters to labor in the communities the adventurers are transitting through. Full points to both.</p><p></p><p>JQ- 12 points</p><p>FR- 12 points</p><p></p><p>Sixth Ingredient: Moldy Tapestry</p><p></p><p>In "Trouble of Greenhill" this ingredient is a Moldy Tapestry of Doors. On an entertaining note, I tried to look up a Tapestry of Doors and mostly was awarded with Jim Morrison curtains. In the entry, it seems to allow the undead to magically travel through parts of the borrow. The issue that I have is though the mold is thematic, this part of the ingredient doesn't seem to be that important and could have easily been replaced with a tattered tapestry or faded tapestry. I give one point here.</p><p></p><p>In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hill", the tapestry is from the elves and has significant value to one of the major NPCs, and therefore is a possible McGuffin. It also shares the same problem in that it has no need to be moldy. In fact, it seems to still be colorful with a shimmering display in part of the description, which is a counter to the supposed mold. So only one point here, too.</p><p></p><p>JQ- 13 points</p><p>FR- 13 points</p><p></p><p>Seventh Ingredient: Smuggled Elixir</p><p></p><p>In "Trouble of Greenhill", the elixir is a potion being sold that is told to bring long life but actually grants undeath. It's a neat idea and can be used to drive along the plot, but I'm not sure why it has to be smuggled. It seems to be created in the local barrows, so its not like it makes a long trip and there is nothing about guards on the lookout for an illegal elixir. I'll grant one point.</p><p></p><p>In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hill", the elixir is a vial of specially extracted blood sealed up in wine bottles and illegally shipped out of the city through a smuggler's network. If the authorites discovered what was going on there would probably be some outrage and a larger investigation. I'll grant this two points. </p><p></p><p>JQ- 14 points</p><p>FR- 15 points</p><p></p><p>Potential for the DM</p><p></p><p>Neither of these entries are very tight, and there seems to be some added fluff and side encounters added in order to better fit some of the ingredients. In "Trouble on Greenhill", I have trouble imagining a bunch of undead working on a garden in broad daylight and I'm also trying to figure out why the Ombru and the Vagabond can't come to some sort of cooperation. Or if the Vagabond is used to performing good deeds, why he can't shift to a more good character... or if he is a wight, why he doesn't feast on the beggars around him.</p><p></p><p>In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow", there are a lot of events that happen, which is perfect for a party of monster hunters, but it seems like a whole bunch of unrelated events. What do mutated plant people, cooperative vampires, and a wereraven all have in common? Not much really, except to act as episodic antagonists in the latest installment of the monster of the week.</p><p></p><p>All in all, I lean towards liking "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow" as an adventure I would like to run due to being able to send off some adventurers on a monster hunter themed adventure. "Trouble on Greenhill" has better flexibility and potential as I can run it as an action adventure or a mystery or a horror, but as is has more narrative holes for me to try and fill.</p><p></p><p>Still, I'll award each a point.</p><p></p><p>JQ- 15 points</p><p>FR- 16 points</p><p>[/spoiler]</p><p></p><p></p><p>Judgement</p><p></p><p>[spoiler]</p><p>Good job to both of you. There is a lot to like in both entries, and I can see Dungeon Masters having a good time running either of these for their players. Ultimately, this really came down to the ingredients, and "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow" barely edges out the win here. Congratulations to [USER=59816]@FitzTheRuke[/USER] for being the one who I award this victory.</p><p>[/spoiler]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deuce Traveler, post: 8763866, member: 34958"] Judgement of Round 2, Match 1: J.Quondam's "Trouble on Greenhill" vs. FitztheRuke's "The Vampries of Dolgan’s Hollow" Judged by Deuce Traveler J.Quondam's (JQ) entry deals with a town with various factions struggling against one another, While FitztheRuke's (FR) entry sticks the party in between some monsters and their hunters. I am going to grade each entry on whether or not they made the time and word count limit, each entry's readability, use of each ingredient, and finally the potential for a potential Dungeon Master. Each section has a possibility of 2 points to be awarded. [spoiler] Accordance to the Rules Both entries were posted within the allotted amount of time and under the word count limit. Good job! JQ- 2 points FR- 2 points Grammar and Readability I had to read through "Trouble on Greenhill" a couple times, as opposed to "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow", but that is more of a quibble. They both had correct grammar and were readable. Full points here for both. JQ- 4 points FR- 4 points First Ingredient: Respected Beggar In "Trouble on Greenhill", the respected beggar is actually a wight with a long-ranged plan. He hangs out with the poor and helps them out in return for favors. He is integral to the entry. Good job! 2 points for this ingredient. In "The Vampires of Dolan's Hollow", the respected beggar isn't really a beggar anymore. He was a drunken beggar in the backstory, but is now a respected mayor. I can only give 1 point here. JQ- 6 points FR- 5 points Second Ingredient: Undead Settlement In "Trouble on Greenhill", there is an area of undead creatures that behave as if they are a living community. In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow", the vampires have come up with an agreement (a settlement) with the local town. Both are an acceptable use of the ingredient and I award 2 points for each entry. JQ- 8 points FR- 7 points Third Ingredient: Wide Depression In "Trouble on Greenhill", the undead are protected by an ancient, dry moat filled with sharp briars. I do have an issue where this isn't all that important to the adventure except as an obstacle. But I ran into the same problem in "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow" where the ingredient is a wide lake at the lowest part of valley, where there is some monster hunting to do. In the end, both use the ingredient correctly but I am only awarding one point to each because the ingredient just doesn't seem to be that critical in either entry. JQ- 9 points FR- 8 points Fourth Ingredient: Recalcitrant Infant In "Trouble on Greenhill", the recalcitrant infant is a wyrmling dragon who acts as a protector of local hills. Recalcitrant means 'having an obstinate uncooperative attitude towards authority or discipline". The dragon is easy to anger, but I don't see why it would need to view humans as authorities or disciplinarians. Another definition is someone who is uncooperative, but then why in the next sentence is the dragon called a benevolent protector? Further, it's really stretching the ingredient for this to be considered an infant since it can fight and negotiate. I'll split the difference and give this use 1 point. In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow", there is an infant transformed into a monster that the heroes need to rescue, but because it is probably scared it may lash out or flee, making their task that much harder. I'll give full points here. JQ- 10 points FR- 10 points Fifth Ingredient: Garden-fresh Greens In "Trouble on Greenhill", the garden-fresh greens are what the undead workers labor upon to appear as if they are still normal field hands. In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hill", they are the produce from a farm dealing with a tragedy. Neither ingredient is hugely important, but they work to tie in monsters to labor in the communities the adventurers are transitting through. Full points to both. JQ- 12 points FR- 12 points Sixth Ingredient: Moldy Tapestry In "Trouble of Greenhill" this ingredient is a Moldy Tapestry of Doors. On an entertaining note, I tried to look up a Tapestry of Doors and mostly was awarded with Jim Morrison curtains. In the entry, it seems to allow the undead to magically travel through parts of the borrow. The issue that I have is though the mold is thematic, this part of the ingredient doesn't seem to be that important and could have easily been replaced with a tattered tapestry or faded tapestry. I give one point here. In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hill", the tapestry is from the elves and has significant value to one of the major NPCs, and therefore is a possible McGuffin. It also shares the same problem in that it has no need to be moldy. In fact, it seems to still be colorful with a shimmering display in part of the description, which is a counter to the supposed mold. So only one point here, too. JQ- 13 points FR- 13 points Seventh Ingredient: Smuggled Elixir In "Trouble of Greenhill", the elixir is a potion being sold that is told to bring long life but actually grants undeath. It's a neat idea and can be used to drive along the plot, but I'm not sure why it has to be smuggled. It seems to be created in the local barrows, so its not like it makes a long trip and there is nothing about guards on the lookout for an illegal elixir. I'll grant one point. In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hill", the elixir is a vial of specially extracted blood sealed up in wine bottles and illegally shipped out of the city through a smuggler's network. If the authorites discovered what was going on there would probably be some outrage and a larger investigation. I'll grant this two points. JQ- 14 points FR- 15 points Potential for the DM Neither of these entries are very tight, and there seems to be some added fluff and side encounters added in order to better fit some of the ingredients. In "Trouble on Greenhill", I have trouble imagining a bunch of undead working on a garden in broad daylight and I'm also trying to figure out why the Ombru and the Vagabond can't come to some sort of cooperation. Or if the Vagabond is used to performing good deeds, why he can't shift to a more good character... or if he is a wight, why he doesn't feast on the beggars around him. In "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow", there are a lot of events that happen, which is perfect for a party of monster hunters, but it seems like a whole bunch of unrelated events. What do mutated plant people, cooperative vampires, and a wereraven all have in common? Not much really, except to act as episodic antagonists in the latest installment of the monster of the week. All in all, I lean towards liking "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow" as an adventure I would like to run due to being able to send off some adventurers on a monster hunter themed adventure. "Trouble on Greenhill" has better flexibility and potential as I can run it as an action adventure or a mystery or a horror, but as is has more narrative holes for me to try and fill. Still, I'll award each a point. JQ- 15 points FR- 16 points [/spoiler] Judgement [spoiler] Good job to both of you. There is a lot to like in both entries, and I can see Dungeon Masters having a good time running either of these for their players. Ultimately, this really came down to the ingredients, and "The Vampires of Dolgan's Hollow" barely edges out the win here. Congratulations to [USER=59816]@FitzTheRuke[/USER] for being the one who I award this victory. [/spoiler] [/QUOTE]
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