The Unforeseen in the Caves of Chaos.
Session #032 Monster Mash.
NPC Humanoids who want to be PCs (in alphabetical order)
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc.
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Gary (Rob) Male Orc.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold.
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
PCs (in alphabetical order) NOT IN PLAY ATM
Krago of the Mountains (Pete) Male Mountain Dwarf Ranger (Folk Hero) Level 4.
Lappoy the Unexpected (Rob) Male High Elf Wizard (Sage) Level 4.
Mohag the Wanderer (Pete) Male Human Barbarian (Outlander) Level 4.
Sho-Rembo (Dave) Female Stout Halfling Druid (Hermit) Level 4.
Sir Glen (Dave) Male Human Paladin of Lathander (Noble) Level 4.
Sosspan (Dave) Male Dragonborn Wizard (Spy) Level 4.
Trebbelos (Pete) Male Tiefling Sorcerer (Charlatan) Level 4.
Sidekick (played mostly by the DM) NOT IN PLAY ATM
Scrubs Male Human Sidekick Expert (Soldier) Level 3.
Dead PCs, NPCs & Sidekicks (in alphabetical order)
Afton Barr (Dave) Male Half-Elf Bard (Entertainer) Level 1.
Corbis Male Human Sidekick Warrior (Soldier) Level 2.
Estra Zo (Pete) Female Wood Gnome Rogue (Urchin) Level 1.
Farned of the Leaf Lord (Dave) Male Wild Elf Cleric of Rillifane Rallithil (Acolyte) Level 1.
Tassit (Dave) Female Human Monk (Hermit) Level 1.
The Mystical One (Pete) Female Human Warlock (Outlander) Level 1.
Tribbits Male Human Sidekick Warrior (Soldier) Level 2.
Wormwood Male Human Guard.
Yor (Pete) Male Dragonborn Fighter (Folk Hero) Level 2.
QUESTS (and stuff to do).*
- Find Zelligar and Rogahn's former base, explore it and steal its treasures.
- Find Tolpuddle, the 'mad druid' or 'mad hermit' of the Whispering Woods, he may know where Z&R's base is (see #1 above), also say 'hi' from his brother Bumble.
- Tell Darvon, Priest of Oghma, about the Unexpected's adventures. ONGOING.
- Track down and kill/capture the former bandit leader- Dee Dee Raven (see Mebros, Captain of the Watch).
- Help the water sprites of the Goblinwater River, for Bumble.
- Clear a bunch of spiders out of the Spiderwood, for Bumble.
- Stop the undead attacks in the Whispering Woods, for Bumble.
- Clear the Caves of Chaos for the Castellan of the Keep on the Borderlands, reward 2,500gp plus. IN PROGRESS.
- Find the rest of the Fortune's Five adventuring party- Bullywugs?
*I've been asked to put this here because the players keep forgetting some of this stuff, also they have lots of quests on the go right now.
Note, we now read this list at the start of each new session, that's what it's like to get old- your memory just stops working.
Note, you can click on the pictures here to make them bigger (if you didn't know this already).
Day 45: Being the 15th Day of Kythorn, in the year 1493 by Dale Reckoning, known as the Year of the Purple Dragons, about midday, a late start after a busy night.
So, here's the set up, the Unexpected have just rescued a bunch of humanoids from the empty bugbear's lair. Then, after much chatter, convinced the newly released prisoners to fight for their freedom.
The humanoids have gathered up enough stuff (from the empty lairs and caverns nearby) to equip the humanoids as standard in the 5e Monster Manual.
Phew, that'll save me some work.
Each player has five humanoid NPCs to play with, that's a lot- but we're not in a rush and besides I have a feeling that not all of these fellows are going to make it out of the cavern alive.
Oh, the humanoid adventurers are exploring the cavern into which the last bugbear standing fled.
They can keep any treasure they find, or else share it out amongst themselves- let's see how that works.
The humanoid NPCs need to earn 500 XP each to gain a class and level, and become a PC.
The XP of any of the humanoids that die in this adventure will be added to the monster XP to be distributed amongst the living.
Did you get that?
It means if you kill your fellow humanoid adventurers then you get a share of the XP, a reward.
The humanoids adventuring NPCs are calling themselves- The Unforeseen, although that may be temporary.
Got it, good- here we go.
A trio of humanoids head into the cavern, alas the two very sneaky types- Pancakes (gnoll) and Limp Bizkit (bugbear) are somewhat hindered by the fact that Hebold is the third of the squad.
Hebold is an immensely fat human, loud and waving a torch about.
The natural cavern revealed is large, and with a high-ceiling, and home to a dozen or more cave crickets- large ones, each of these creatures is about three feet long. They scatter, trying to get away from the light and noise.
Alas in trying to get away one of the giant cave crickets manages to kick Pancakes, the gnoll's not happy and so attempts to stab at the beast (a miss), moments later and Limp Bizkit is also in action (yet another miss). But combat only causes more panic, the crickets scatter some more, while the humanoids on the outside of the cavern want in on the action.
In the following confusion Great Wurley (hobgoblin) gets slammed (Crit) when a giant cave cricket jumps into him. Drongo (orc) charges in and almost manages to kill one of the critters with his greataxe- alas the startled cave cricket attempts to leap to safety, and in doing so breaks the neck of Kroke the kobold.
This event causes much much laughter.
So, first humanoid to die- Kroke the kobold (played by Dave) in the second turn of combat.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc.
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Gary (Rob) Male Orc.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold. RIP
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Hebold goes crazy ape barmy and starts laying into the cave crickets with his greataxe, he too gets kicked in the face (and another Crit) as the insects attempt to flee some more.
Blurt (orc) smashes another cave cricket dead with his greataxe.
Limp Bizkit (bugbear) kills another one, seconds later Gary (orc) ends another, the Unforeseen get into the swing of things- Halfpint (orc) cuts yet another of the annoying hopper's in two.
Hebold gets kicked in the gut again as another cricket hops away, Limp Bizkit slaughters it.
The raging Hebold swats another cave cricket, and again gets kicked as it departs.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) slices a giant cave cricket in two with his longsword.
Blurt (orc) crits with his greataxe but fails to kill another, the cave cricket in question kicks Halfpint (orc) in the unmentionables as it hops off.
Hebold gets kicked again.
Halfpint (orc) smushes another cave cricket.
Boring... boring!
Keep in mind I'm only reporting the hits here, there's a lot of swinging and/or cave cricket kicking going on- and almost as much missing.
Suddenly screaming Burt (orc) shoots up into the air, the orc flails momentarily- something seems be stuck to his back- a rope, or else, he cannot turn to find out- he is being hauled up. That is until he comes to an abrupt halt- a large chitinous pincer clamps down on him. The now screaming and cursing orc is facing a strange lobster/crab like creature, whish is situated on a (formerly) well-hidden ledge above the action.
Later the cave fisher will get identified.
Pop Tart & Pancakes (gnolls) react immediately and fire arrows into the hard-to-hit predator, just to say they needed something like a '17' to hit it with concealment, which both of the buggers managed to roll.
Blurt (orc) eventually gets himself situated, and facing his cave fisher enemy, seconds later the orc somehow manages to swipe at the beast with his greataxe.
Bad Pudding (goblin) also manages to shoot the beast with his shortbow, Limp Bizkit (bugbear) flings a javelin into it.
Halfpint (orc) attempts to climb up to the cave fisher's ledge, he doesn't even get started.
Tik-Tok (kobold) hits the cave fisher with its sling- and a Crit, the beast is bloodied.
But it's not enough, the cave fisher hits and Crits Blurt (orc) with its pincers, decapitating the orc and snipping of its limbs to consume later.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Gary (Rob) Male Orc.
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold. RIP
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Blurt (orc) is dead, and his fellow orcs, and the assorted humanoid crowd below, are showered in blood and viscera.
They're not happy.
Pop Tart (gnoll) sinks another arrow into the beast, while Bad Pudding (goblin) shoots another one of the fleeing and badly wounded cave cricket's dead.
Gary (orc) manages to scramble up onto the ledge with the cave fisher, and then start hacking at beast with its greataxe.
A confused cave cricket, heading in the wrong direction, slams into Hebold, the human berserker takes another Crit-hit (he's bloodied).
Note, Hebold (played by Rob) is mostly voiced in slow german, and oddly, I think I remember him shouting (and forgive any spelling mistakes, and lack of umlauts)-
“Wie spat ist es, Uli?”
While attempting to smash another cave cricket to pieces.
Tik-Tok & Panko (kobolds) both ding the cave fisher with sling stones, the beast is critically wounded and wants to get away.
Note, I bet you are thinking that these guys are on fire here- they're not, if I was to write up all of the missing going on then this text would be three times as long.
The cave fisher grabs up Gary (orc) in its pincers, crushes the humanoid a little, and then starts spider climbing its way towards the high ceiling of the cavern.
It doesn't get far, Pop Tart (gnoll) slams yet another arrow into the beast, which instantly detaches from the wall (dead) and with Gary (orc) still in hand/pincer it falls forty feet to the cavern floor, bouncing off the ledge on the way down.
Remarkably Gary (orc) survives the ordeal, although he's really not very healthy (on approx. four hit points). Alas Drongo (orc) is now also in the same dire situation (down to four hit points), as the cave fisher (and Gary) fall on him, but he survives- just.
Hebold is in his own private hell, the big berserker cuts down two more giant cave crickets (Crit & roll max damage on both dice- why not).
“Hast du ein hansaplast, mein bein is gebrocken?” He screams.
Pancakes (gnoll) shoots another cave cricket dead.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) following after the gnoll gets to the end of the passage only to discover there's a deep but narrow ravine, and another larger bare cavern chamber over the other side of it, in which there are yet more giant cave crickets. The hobgoblin shoots the closest of the giant insects, which immediately starts off another hopping panic.
Littlehampton (hobgoblin) rushes down the passage and just (DC exactly) leaps across the ravine to stab at the cave cricket- alas a miss.
THUNK, a stalactite falls from the ceiling narrowly missing Littlehampton (hobgoblin)- it's a piercer!
A badly wounded Gary (orc) also attempts to leap across into the newly revealed chamber, he fails to do so and falls forty feet to the bottom of the ravine, neck broken and he's dead.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Gary (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc.
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold. RIP
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Halfpint (orc) leaps the chasm, again- just.
Meantime the piercer that just failed to impale Littlehampton (hobgoblin) rights itself and starts crawling away- heading back for the wall.
A cave cricket leaps/slams into Halfpint (orc) who is now also very heavily wounded, alas the impact is enough to send the orc spinning backwards and... into the ravine.
Halfpint nestles at the bottom of the crevasse with Gary- dead, also.
Just for info here's the rota-
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc.
Gary (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc. RIP
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold. RIP
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Both Dave and Rob have lost two of their humanoid NPCs each, Pete is replete- he still has all five of his.
Then, inevitably, Drongo attempts to leap the chasm and... that's another orc dead, Dave has only got his two gnolls- Pancakes & Pop Tart left in play.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc. RIP
Gary (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc. RIP
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold. RIP
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin.
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Hebold, in the mean time- accompanied by Tik-Tok (kobold) and Bad Pudding (goblin) is still chasing two of the cave crickets down that fled from the very first chamber. He keeps hitting and then rolling '1' damage.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) meantime, is still on his own over the other side of the ravine, he heads forward to chop the slow-moving piercer to pieces, and even though he's taking every precaution a second piercer silently falls and spears the armoured brute. Kilminster goes from full to one hit point left only.
Limp Bizkit (bugbear) leaps the ravine and gets into action, or rather misses his attack on one of the piercers here, this is getting ugly- yet another piercer falls and impales the now screaming bugbear.
To make matters worse another of the cave crickets in a panic jumps and slams into him, and then another falling piercer slams into the ground just to the side of Limp Bizkit (bugbear).
This isn't going well.
And yet another piercer slams into the cavern floor only inches away from Littlehampton (hobgoblin).
Note the various remaining hobgoblins and gnolls are taking it in turns to take pot shots at the various piercers (and the last three cave crickets) in the cavern across the chasm.
They're not leaping over there.
There are piercers- lots of them.
Hard rain!
Littlehampton (hobgoblin) cuts down a fleeing cave cricket.
Hebold barrels past the other humanoids and leaps the chasm easily, and then starts swinging still in a frenzy- he keeps on missing.
Meantime at least three of the fallen piercers have made it to back to the walls of the cavern and scooch away, to safety.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) however takes a piercer down, that's the first of the stony little protrusions to fall, as it were.
Littlehampton (hobgoblin) takes down another of the scooching piercers.
Great Wurley (hobgoblin) takes down the last fleeing cave cricket with his bow.
The cavern falls to silence, well almost, just the sound of one last piercer scooching back up the wall over the far side.
The encounter is, at last, o...
Another piercer falls, hits & Crits, as it impales itself in Limp Bizkit (bugbear) the big lad is almost broken (on 2 hit points) and in a frightful bate.
Seconds later a second piercer falls and misses Littlehampton by inches, the hobgoblin is wavering on just one hit point. Hebold's greataxe cuts into the little spikey bastard.
Pancakes (gnoll) shoots it, as does Kilminster (hobgoblin) and that's a Crit- another piercer is spent.
There's just one piercer left trying to snail its way to the nearest wall and freedom (and none still on the roof of the cavern, I promise). Littlehampton rushes over and slices it, Panko (kobold) slams it with a sling bullet.
But the lone piercer is getting away (at 10 feet/turn), it's halfway to the wall- the amount of swinging and missing here is just... comedy. Littlehampton cuts it again (for minimum damage- that's not helping), Hebold slices it with his greataxe- and the thing is almost spent.
Moments later Hebold catches up with the thing again and crushes it...
The fight is over...
But no, it really isn't, because the magnificent sweating Hebold has now entered the ultimate state of frenzy, he cannot stop fighting.
Hebold decapitates Littlehampton (hobgoblin) and now there is trouble.
Hebold the Berserker has, well... gone berserk. Who would have thought it.
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc. RIP
Gary (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc. RIP
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker.
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold. RIP
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin. RIP
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
Let's just take a moment.
Hebold, played by Rob, has gone crazy- I primed the player that this might happen before the game, Rob was okay with this- funny that.
No-one even suggests subduing or else talking down the maniac.
Pancakes (gnoll) makes his decision, and then quickly fires an arrow into Hebold, and its a Crit, the sweating berserker is now heavily wounded.
Kilminster (hobgoblin) follows suit, although no Crit- minimum damage.
Limp Bizkit (bugbear) rushes forward and slams his morningstar into Hebold, the big man is now critically wounded.
Tik-Tok & Panko (kobolds) both hit the berserker with sling stones, and still the brute stands, just to say Hebold started with 70-something hit points.
But then Great Wurley (hobgoblin) sinks an arrow in to the back of the man-monster's head.
Game over!
Or at least that's the fighting over, although the new rota for the Unforeseen is looking a little threadbare, here's the present line-up-
Bad Pudding (Pete) Male Goblin.
Blurt (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Drongo (Dave) Male Orc. RIP
Gary (Rob) Male Orc. RIP
Great Wurley (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Halfpint (Dave) Male Orc. RIP
Hebold (Rob) Male Human Berserker. RIP
Kilminster (Pete) Male Hobgoblin.
Kroke (Dave) Male Kobold. RIP
Limp Bizkit (Pete) Male Bugbear.
Littlehampton (Rob) Male Hobgoblin. RIP
Pancakes (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Panko (Pete) Male Kobold.
Pop Tart (Dave) Female Gnoll.
Tik-Tok (Rob) Female Kobold.
So, that's right- there are eight NPC wannabe-PC humanoids left, and five of them are Pete's, Rob only has one kobold left in the game, Dave has a pair of gnolls.
There was some talk about redistributing the party members, but Pete wasn't having any of that- I believe his response was something about sex & travel.
The humanoids retire to the first cavern to take a rest, and to spend some healing HD, we're going to use them like PCs do so a 2d6-2 kobold has two 1d6-1 healing HD to spend. Note, I didn't plan to do this, the situation dictated, or else I'm just all heart and I want to give them a chance.
Then XP distribution, the session isn't finishing until this gets done, all of the players want to see how far they are to PC status, remember they each need to earn 500 XP.
So, first off- dead party members, remember I said the XP for these would count, and so-
Kroke (kobold) 25 XP
Blurt, Drongo, Gary & Halfpint (orcs) 100 XP x 4 = 400 XP
Littlehampton (hobgoblin) 100 XP
Hebold (berserker) 450 XP
Total 975 XP
Monsters killed-
Giant Cave Cricket 25 XP x 11 = 275 XP
Piercer 100 XP x 4 = 400 XP
Cave Fisher 450 XP
Total 1125 XP
Grand Total 2100 XP/8 = 263 XP each.
The NPCs are only just over halfway, we'll do the rest of this cavern (fingers-crossed) next time, after the short rest and healing et al.
And that's all she wrote, it took us over three hours to get the above fight played out, and nearly twenty turns of action. The players are less impressed than they thought they would be, the reason, the monsters are so underpowered, from what they are used to with their PCs.
They just keep on missing.
Don't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun when it was a lot of fun, but- lots of rolling, lots of missing.
The pot is up to £138.
Stay safe and well you lovely people.
Toodles for a bit.
Cheers the Unexpected/Unforeseen and goonalan.