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<blockquote data-quote="Thornir Alekeg" data-source="post: 2044349" data-attributes="member: 15651"><p><strong>Lacey's Lair</strong></p><p></p><p>A sign hanging on the door of this tavern reads "No orc blood allowed!"</p><p></p><p>Just inside, facing the door of this ordinary looking tavern is a wooden statue of a man with a knowing look and a wry smile. The statue is named Lacey and provides both entertainment and protection. If someone enters the tavern thinking thoughts of harming one of the employees or one of the long-time regulars, Lacey calls out a warning to that person. Should an orc or half-orc enter the tavern Lacey shouts out with a snarl "Orc Blood" and lets loose a 3d4+3 <em> magic missile </em>. Lacey can shoot six such missiles per day at a rate of one per round at any orc-blooded target within his forward arc. Lacey cannot move. If orcs enter and get behind him, he will curse up quite a storm in frustration.</p><p></p><p>Others entering the tavern will often find Lacey making snide comments such as:</p><p></p><p>(to a Bard)</p><p>"Have ye' heard this one?</p><p></p><p>There once was a Bard from Verlace</p><p>Whose thoughts were slower than his lip would race</p><p>He dared sing some words</p><p>Of some secrets he's heard</p><p>And woke with those lips cut from his face"</p><p></p><p>(to a Paladin)</p><p>"Oh, crap! Everyone, stop having fun! We don't want to offend the Paladin"</p><p></p><p>(to a well equipped warrior)</p><p>"Whoa, ladies! Check out the equipment on this one!"</p><p></p><p>(to a Monk) </p><p>"I bet you are just great with your hands."</p><p></p><p>(to a Halfling) </p><p>"Do you need a booster seat?"</p><p></p><p>(to an Elf) </p><p>"Hello, I suppose you will want us to actually wash the glasses before you'll drink"</p><p></p><p>[Add in your own digs as you see fit]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Thornir Alekeg, post: 2044349, member: 15651"] [b]Lacey's Lair[/b] A sign hanging on the door of this tavern reads "No orc blood allowed!" Just inside, facing the door of this ordinary looking tavern is a wooden statue of a man with a knowing look and a wry smile. The statue is named Lacey and provides both entertainment and protection. If someone enters the tavern thinking thoughts of harming one of the employees or one of the long-time regulars, Lacey calls out a warning to that person. Should an orc or half-orc enter the tavern Lacey shouts out with a snarl "Orc Blood" and lets loose a 3d4+3 [i] magic missile [/i]. Lacey can shoot six such missiles per day at a rate of one per round at any orc-blooded target within his forward arc. Lacey cannot move. If orcs enter and get behind him, he will curse up quite a storm in frustration. Others entering the tavern will often find Lacey making snide comments such as: (to a Bard) "Have ye' heard this one? There once was a Bard from Verlace Whose thoughts were slower than his lip would race He dared sing some words Of some secrets he's heard And woke with those lips cut from his face" (to a Paladin) "Oh, crap! Everyone, stop having fun! We don't want to offend the Paladin" (to a well equipped warrior) "Whoa, ladies! Check out the equipment on this one!" (to a Monk) "I bet you are just great with your hands." (to a Halfling) "Do you need a booster seat?" (to an Elf) "Hello, I suppose you will want us to actually wash the glasses before you'll drink" [Add in your own digs as you see fit] [/QUOTE]
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